my girlfriend cheated on me 4 times, a year on, i'm still with her.. because i do love her loads..
but the truth is, im not over it, and i can't seem to forgive her..
she told me the other day to " get over it " because it was a while ago, and.. no lies.. it was the most upsetting thing anyone has ever said to me..
what shud i do
2007-03-05 09:59:43 · 39 answers · asked by 18/M/Scotland 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are not over it and cannot forgive her...it's time to move on. Her cheating on you once is ONE too many....let alone four. Get some courage and get out on your own. You deserve a much better gf than this heartless selfish one.
2007-03-05 10:02:36 · answer #1 · answered by M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she was truly sorry about all the stuff she's done, she wouldn't have told you to just get over it. If she was truly sorry, she would feel ashamed, and apologize again for it, no matter how long ago it was.
Yes, if someone cheats on you, they're likely to cheat again. The only possible way I can see what she said as justified, is if you have told her more than once that you forgive her for it. It is not her fault if you said things you didn't feel or mean. If you're still moping over something from your past all the time, maybe she is tired of having to apologize.
Personally though, it doesn't sound much like you love each other.
Fact of the matter is, if she's being that hurtful, she either doesn't love you at all, figures because you've put up with so much ****, one little thing isn't going to change it, or is fed up with the situation and wishes it would just drop so you guys can move on. If it bothers you that much, I'd tell her. By telling her, you assert yourself once and for all, and it will really define the relationship. Good luck!
2007-03-05 10:10:05 · answer #2 · answered by Lynn G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its understandable that your hurt. Its easier to forgive then to forget. Honestly your a good guy for sticking around just this long considering its been 4x. If you want to make this work then your going to have to work past it. But if it just seems just to hard for you to do then i would just say break it off with her. There is no point in you being in a relationship that your not happy with and there is no trust there. The foundation of a relationship is TRUST and if its not there then there is no relationship. But if you think you can work past this then you can't keep throwing it in her face becuase in the end it was your choice to stay with her. The ball is in your court. Sometimes Love can make you blind to the truth, you need to be honest to yourself and her. Take sometime to think things out and then talk with her. At the same time she should also be understanding about how you feel considering she has cheated on you repeatedly but like I say it is up to you to make the final decision on the whole matter. Hope i was helpful and good luck.
2007-03-05 10:13:14 · answer #3 · answered by babi_gurl513 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Agreed with other people. She is manipulative, she is toying with your emotions "Get over it!" was used as a weapon to make you feel like you have done something wrong, but you haven't. My recommendation is not only to let her go, but to leave her in a way that is most educational for her.
You should write her a letter telling her that you are over the cheating and the heartache because you are no longer together. Then grab some mates, go up to the pub and have a couple of beers. Nothing is worse than being manipulated and if I were you I'd be incredibly mad! Don't take the abuse any longer buddy! Good luck
2007-03-05 10:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should leave her she is treating you like a door mat and you are letting her 4 time and you have took her back and i can pretty much guarantee it has been more than 4 she should be began for forgiveness not telling you to get over it which you never will has the trust is truly over can you really see yourself marrying this woman and having children it would be contently on your mind "re these kids mine" i know you don't think that now but with her past it will pop up in your head at one point i know you love her but its not returned find someone who will love you and only you for ever its what you deserve good luck xx
2007-03-06 00:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a very important part of a relationship. When the trust is not there anymore, especially through no fault of your own, its time to move on.
Be true to yourself.
Getting over a bad relationship is an important part of life. It hurts. Its painful. You just have to endure the pain while moving on. Close the door to someone who treats you not the way you want to be treated, and regain your self respect. It may still hurt. But you will have your dignity intact and the next person will be a better person for you.
Treat yourself right, and potential partners will treat you right. Take care.
2007-03-05 10:12:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get outta that relationship. 4 times? Get out...don't stay, it will happen again. She doesn't care about you the way you do about her. If she cared at all, the words "get over it" would never have come outta her mouth. She was the one in the wrong, she should be alot more understanding of your feelings especially considering you took her back all 4 times. Find someone who deserves you. You won't be happy if you stay. It's not worth it in the long run. You may be missing out on someone great right now!
2007-03-05 10:12:13 · answer #7 · answered by debrenee211 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your situation before and honestly you will never be able to get over it or even trust her! Move on I know it's easier said than done but don't waist anymore time with her espcially if it's been 4 times in a year what makes you think she won't do it again! And when she is crying to take her back don't do it you have done it 4 times now! I am sure you will find someone amazing! I did just give it time!
2007-03-05 10:07:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've probably heard this a lot, but once a cheater always a cheater. She cheated on you not once, not twice, not three times, but four times! Ok first time may have been a mistake, but what about the other three? Trust me, she'll do it again!
Who is she to tell you to "get over it"? She doesn't even seem to feel guilty about it!
Break up with her!!! Especially since you got back with her after she cheated on you four times, she's gonna walk all over you, thinking she can do it again, and you'll take her back. Trust me, break up with her, and don't let her emotionally blackmail you. I'm sorry but you gotta finish it.
2007-03-05 10:22:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you. She cheated 4 times and you still forgave her, what a sweetie. You shouldn't cheat on her because some girls can be bitchy and turn the whole blame on you when really you was getting revenge. The best you can do is finish it with her and let everyone know what a s**t she was. She will get what she deserves sooner or later good luck
2007-03-05 10:08:01 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋