Daughter on sleepover?

Question

What wud u do if your daughter (10yrs) was to go on sleepover to friends house & u later found out that they were left on own while parents went out?

My daughter didn't know a thing about it before hand & it was her that told me next day. Can't be mad at her, not her fault, but no more sleepovers there.

Answer 1

I would be very unhappy and would not let her go there again. I don't suppose I would be confrontational about it, but if it came up I would just tell them that you don't let your daughter stay in the house unsupervised.

Came up for me once when I discovered my 11 year old was given a shandy. I don't think it was a big deal or that anything happened as a consequence, but I would not do anything remotely questionable without checking with a child's parents first and so to me it was unacceptable and I discouraged that friendship.

Answer 2

This is a situation which does require talking to the parents. If you can't work it out with the other parents, then sorry, no more sleepovers at that friend's home. Allow your daughter to bring her friend over to your house instead.

With your own child, although I personally feel 10 is too young, you know when you can and can't leave him/her at home alone for a bit. When someone else's child is present, you can't make that call. The parents are leaving that child with you so you had better be responsible (and present).

Also FYI, you might think about making a temporary medical power of attorney for slumber parties, lock-ins, camping trips, etcetera. That way if something happens during the stay the parents or adult sponsors can go ahead and get your child in for medical attention while you are being contacted. Just be sure to fill in the appropriate dates and sign it.

Answer 3

I would have a word with the parents. Not a shouting match - you don't want them to get defensive.

Just something along the lines of "my daughter told me that you went out while she was there and you lleft them on their own, I'm a bit concerned about this because what would have happened if a fire had started while you were out?" and let them answer it. I'm sure they will feel guilty about it.

You won't let your daughter sleep over again but it might be someone else's child next time so you need to let them know that this is the reason why your child cannot stay there again. I would have said that 15 (if they are a mature 15) was the earliest they should be on their own if they are not your child.

Answer 4

well I used to stay alone all the time at 10. but to each his own. Next time your daughter wants to spend the night be sure to call the parents first to find out if they will be home.

If you really want to let the parents know that you were not happy, ring the mom and politely ask if they left the kids alone and for how long. If you are not happy with the answer then you don't let your daughter go there again but let the other kid come to your house.

Answer 5

I would be very annoyed with the parents. Ask them why they did this. Surely if there was a legitimate reason that they had to leave the house, they could have asked for the sleepover to be at yours. I wonder if they do this often? Or even maybe they think it's ok to leave 2 10year olds alone, instead of just their daughter alone. Maybe a little chat with your daughter's friend could tell you more.

Answer 6

I'd find out 1) if and which responsible adult was left in charge of them 2)did the responsible adult left in charge have the tel nos of the parents of all children at the sleepover in case of emergencies 3)if the answer is no to either of the above, I'd go mental! Having calmed down to confronting the "offending" parents I'd be asking what the hell if the house had gone on fire, or a burglar broke in or one of the kids took seriously sick.....then I'd be letting everybody know how irresponsible they were to not just let my kid ever go over there again!

Answer 7

I think That was pretty irresponsible. If your daughter were a few years older I wouldn't worry, but 10 is too young to have a sleepover without adult supervision. Also the fact that you wern't told before hand dosn't seem right. You should host the next sleepover.

Answer 8

That happend to my sister when we were younger, except she got hurt and the other little girl had to call 911. The parents were a few houses down, after that my mom wouldnt let any of the kids sleep over anywhere but my house... Up until this day I would never let my children go over a house where I didnt know the parents well enough to make good judgement for my children ...Let alone their own.

Answer 9

Well we have a Daughter so can imagine how you must be feeling! Obviously you won't be letting her stay at that particular house again,you must be mad as hell that her friends parents are so irresponsible,I would speak to them and ask them why they did that? You have every right to want to know that your child is safe and being looked after by these people when left in their care.
Maybe a visit from social services is in order if they do anything like that again!

Answer 10

I'd be furious but also thankful that nothing bad happened while they were alone and i would make sure she never went to that friends for a sleepover ever again..if you see the other girls mum at the school or you know her phone number tell her your not very happy that you left your daughter in her care only for her to leave them alone, make it clear you dont want your child invited again