Too many people, now I'm confused!?

Question

Okay, my best friend is getting married to my brother in law. They are having this gigantic wedding party and I'm a little confused about who does what.

The plan is for my husband and I to be the matron of honor and the married best man (I don't know what else to call it) (My husband is the grooms oldest brother). While the bride's sister and the groom's youngest brother are the maid of honor and the best man. However, by the time this wedding happens, the youngest brother will also be married.

So how do we decide who does what? Who takes the speech responsibilities, bachelor party/bridal shower stuff and who signs the freaking marriage license? Lord, I am so confused.

I would think that Kenny and I would be the primary for everything and then just asking for the inputs of the secondaries (this is starting to sound like a game plan for a football game) but I don't know.

Is there anyone who can help shed light on the subject? I had a small wedding,so this is WAY out of my league.

Answer 1

I think there's way too many people involved in this, You need one maid of honor (or matron of honor, if she is married)(who handles the bridal shower), one best man (who handles the bachelor party and gives the speech), several bride's maids, flower girls, and a ring bearer.
It sounds like your friend does not want any hurt feelings on either side, so is compensating by adding the most special people in their lives as the main wedding party. Understandable, but this will require cooperation on the reflective attendants. Both Maid and Matron coordinate the bridal shower; both Married Best Man and Best Man coordinate the bachelor party and share the speech responsibilities. Work together to make your friends wedding the most wonderful day in their lives. NO BICKERING!

Answer 2

Good grief!! The "best man" is the BEST MAN - doesn't matter if married or single. The "Maid of honor" is sometimes called the "Matron of honor" of she's married. These two people are the official witnesses who sign the register so must be legal age in your state. Sometimes a person asks a teenage brother or son to be "Best man". In that case, you must be sure that the next-in-line is legal age and can sign the register. Anyone can hold a shower for a bride-to-be but it is tacky for a family member to do it. The best man usually organizes the bachelor party but - word to the wise - nowadays more and more intelligent guys have a poker party a few days or a week ahead of the wedding. They all put into the "pot" and this cash is given to the groom as a help for the honeymoon. Having strippers, etc. is best left to trailer trash. Any guy who truly loves his bride would have nothing to do with that crap. Get a bridal magazine and start to read or go to www.theknot.com You need help!! Didn't anyone ever get married in your family?

Answer 3

Ask the bride and groom who they are going to have standing next to them at the wedding (you would be the last to walk down the aisle before the Bride). If it is you and your husband, you take on the primary role of matron of honor and best man. Therefore, the two of you should be the ones signing the license. If the sister and brother are the ones that will be standing next to them at the wedding, they take the primary role, and they would sign the license.

As for the parties - I suggest doing a joint party - you and her sister plan the shower and your husband and his brother should plan the bachelor party. Everybody can give a speech!

Whew... good luck!

Answer 4

It kind of seems like your husband (The grooms oldest brother) and the brides sister, would be the first in line to take care of things..but then that wouldn't work out right either huh??LOL I can see why you are confused! I would just "play it by ear" and see what the bride and groom come up with, and then do whatever they want each of you to do. Just try and be helpful, you know its' a very stressful time the closer it gets. I would just tell them that you and your husband will be more than happy to help with anything you can, etc. As far as the "before parties" go, get with the other set of people and plan things together..hey you can even split the costs;) I hope everything goes nice and smooth for ALL of you:)
Good Luck!!

Answer 5

I think all four of you could give speeches; as far as I know, that part is up to the bride and groom. You and your husband are probably the ones in charge of the showers and parties, as well as the license as witnesses. Don't worry too much - this isn't your wedding! It's the bride's job to stress, not yours! :o)

Answer 6

id say you all need to work together. each one of you should put together a speach for the reception. and all the girls plan the shower/bacholorette party, all the guys plan the bacholor party.

for the marriage licence, you all may sign it, or the bride and groom may just choose one from each side to sign it.

or your best bet would be to talk to the bride and groom to find out what each of your responsibilities are, so that no one is left out and everyone has a clear picture of what they will be doing.

good luck!

Answer 7

Well, the bride messed up, she should not have had two sets of Matrons of Honour/Best Men! You need to talk to her about who is going to be responsible for what; it is their decision.

Answer 8

100% agree with Invisimann1. I couldn't have said it better! Listen to Invisimann's advice.

Answer 9

you are right your position is to take care of most , but they are there to fill in were you need them most , So take a deep breath and charge forward , and it will all work out well

Answer 10

if who ever is getting married asks you to help or do any thing do it and i really dont know what else to say