So I found out my bf was lying to me about seeing his ex. He took her out one day and I caught him lying. They went to a movie, and to eat. Then I checked his phone, and found text messages between them. They also were talking the whole time we were together! Well, now I don't know if I should work it out with him. He wants his phone company to send me records of all his phone bills from now on so I can see he changed. He also wants to give me all his e-mail passwords. On top of all this now he's telling me he wants get married! He said I'm the kind of woman that can make a guy change, and since I'm that great he knows I'm the one. What the heck do I do? Do you think a guy can change?
2007-03-05 09:27:54 · 16 answers · asked by movingirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would have to say that he might have relized what he had was better but it should be too late cause he didn't care about you feelings when he was creeping so why should you care enought to stay with him unless you truly loved him????!!!!!!
2007-03-05 09:33:02 · answer #1 · answered by Lordes D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy can change, but has he. Wait and see if he's dishonest about something else. If he can't be honest with you about little things, you'll always have to catch him before you know the truth. It's not worth taking all the time and effort it takes to have a relationship just to get played, naw mean.
Just test him with something small. Next time you notice him looking at another woman, say something. If he is dishonest about it, he's not going to be honest over something that could really hurt you. What good does having a phone bill do? He could just get their numbers. What good is giving you a password to e-mail? It takes what three minutes to get a new one. Plus, you shouldn't have to check his phone bill and e-mail. You should be able to trust him without doing those things. If you have to do those things, you're better off moving on.
One more thing, you are the only person who knows him. Regardless of what people say, you know him and we don't. You are the only one who can determine. But just see if he'll be honest about something small that you already know the truth about.
2007-03-05 09:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by lil_snipe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. But that's besides the point. You will now never be able to completely trust him again, despite what you may think you are capable of looking past. And what's to stop him from finding other ways to contact the people you'd rather he had no contact with? All this shows is that he had no respect for you from the get go and he's probably just wanting to get back with his ex anyway. The marriage talk is just to throw you off track so he can find ways to better cover his tracks for the next time. Liars never change. Get out while you can and find someone that is willing to be honest with you from the beginning about everything, no matter how small and insignificant it seems.
Best of Luck :-)
2007-03-05 09:35:19 · answer #3 · answered by jpiglet86 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got away from that drama, there's no need to jump back in. He lied didn't just tell you the truth! He didn't learn the 1st time, but instead kept being scandalous over and over again, so I'd say, no, don't give him another chance. I think people can change, but only if they were willing to learn their lesson the first time they messed up. His e-mail passwords don't mean anything, cause he can just create other accounts, he'll tell you anything just to get you back , because he probably feels guilty he got caught by you, not that he was doing something wrong.
2007-03-05 09:36:07 · answer #4 · answered by HappilyEverAfter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like you and the other people responding may be reading more into this than is really there; it may be that in his mind he had to be sure he was over this other person before he could move on with some else. It would have been a terrible relationship for you both if he had any doubts. The lies may have been to protect your feelings; he may care so deeply for you that he couldn't bare the thought that he may be the one to cause you pain.
Then again he might be a lying, cheating, bastard that you need to drop like a hot potato.
2007-03-05 09:49:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!! He is saying that to wooh you back to him. Dont listen to it. HE messed up!! People like this wont change. He is sorry now, but later on he will go back to his old ways. He should have been faithful from the start if he knew he would be jeopardizing what he had. Now, if you take him back, he knows he can and he will walk all over you again, its a cycle. HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT, if you are that great you deserve better.
Best Wishes
2007-03-05 09:34:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As nice as it sounds...it almost sounds like he's trying a little toooo hard. Like he is overcompensating for his mistake. it's hard for us to give you any advice because you have to make a decision on whether you trust him. I would say no...he's not going to change so fast. The fact that he talked to her the whole time you are together is just a bad bad sign. Personally....I don't think I could trust him.......
2007-03-05 09:35:00 · answer #7 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leopard can't change it's spots. Dicussing your kids over dinner like adults ok, But a movie? come on. Some calls because of your kids ok.
With no more info sounds like if he's gone he needs to stay gone
2007-03-05 09:32:55 · answer #8 · answered by walker9842 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was (repeat) was married to a liar. I would be right next to him and he would lie to people and i thought ok he can lie to others but not me . i was so wrong. i was married to him for 7 years and we got divorced because he cheated. I now think he lied to me the entire time we were married. They don't change! RUN
2007-03-05 09:38:48 · answer #9 · answered by cutie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Liars can always change, but dont let him deceive you. Im not saying stalk him and dont give him privacy, but make sure he's changed and not playing you. Give him trust and help him change, aslong as you let him know you're serious
2007-03-05 09:32:18 · answer #10 · answered by Iceshowers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋