Hi there,
My ex and I broke up over a month ago.(after being together for 3 yrs) I met this guy throu friend of mine, I found him on facebook and we started talking. We went for coffee one night...didn't really talked after that. He gave me a booty call (the same week) I accepted (I was lonely and ... wanted sex too) I feel kind of good because I got what I wanted,but at the same time I feel used. I don't wanna be a booty call, I want to be friends with benefits(so we can plan night out and stuff) The problem is, he spend over $200 that night(he's pretty well off),but I feel that he's not willing to pay so much $ just for sex and not gonna call me again. I need help in 1: getting over him,2: if he does call me(not a booty call) how can I bring up friends with benefits topic and don't look needy.
I need to get over my ex and this "relationship" with this guy really helps me (I want to keep this guy for some time)
What to do???
2007-03-05 09:22:45 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
1) Don't feel used. You both filled a mutual need that night, and you went in there knowing exactly what to expect. You're only "used" if you were deceived or got the raw end of the deal. So don't worry about that.
2) "Friends with benefits" implies that you are friends first and foremost, that you can enjoy each other's company even if you only hook up a few times a year. This is not the case here - what you're really looking for is a "f*** buddy" or a "bedroom buddy." Someone you can hang out with for an evening, almost a pseudo-date, and then knock boots that night if you're both so inclined. Plenty of guys are totally happy to go with this, and won't think you're needy at all. Just let your friend know that a good dinner/evening/whatever puts you in the mood. You might clarify things for him, "Last time was fun; I don't want to be in a relationship with you, and I am not going to develop any messy romantic feelings for you, but I'm cool with the idea of being "f*** buddies" - next time you wanna hit it, give me a call and we'll go out for drinks/dinner/dancing/etc - you know, like a mini-date without the strings - and we'll head to your place afterwards." That way he'll know what's expected of him, and what he can hope to get. If he's well off anyway, he won't mind dropping money on an evening out.
Remember, always do what you feel like doing, and don't do want you don't feel like doing. And be careful - make him wear a condom!
2007-03-05 09:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you just want sex...keep him around. If you feel you will need more from him than that dump him and respect yourself for it. Your actions need to match your true desires. There is nothing wrong with a sex based "relationship"
2007-03-05 09:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by Dragonfly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't expect much it's just a booty call...and now that he's gotten what he wants once you are not going to be friends with benefits because you weren't friends to start...
2007-03-05 09:27:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok just hang out with him and act like you would with a friend and when hes tring to pin you then say not tonight some other time lets just hang out to night and if you want to then you can have sex with him after you relize that he wont through you out when you dont want to have sex
2007-03-05 09:28:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
do not let yourself be used for sex and dont do that to anyone else.You are worth more than a night out and a romp in bed.If a man loves you for you He will be will to marry you before sex.Guard your heart,it will be broken if you dont.
2007-03-05 09:29:26 · answer #5 · answered by Buck 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what's there to clarify? It was a booty call that's what you agreed to so don't more of it than it is/was.
2007-03-05 09:28:19 · answer #6 · answered by Ryan S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just wait and see. you got what you wanted too. just dont be too easy next time
2007-03-05 09:27:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just keep hoing...
2007-03-05 09:27:14 · answer #8 · answered by Tacyella 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋