Why do I feel like this?

Question

Now I'm in a nice relationship - well, it's not really a relationship, but I like it the way it is. But lately I've realized that even though I'm in a relationship, and I'm reluctant to cheat on the current boyfriend, I've been thinking about my latest ex more and more, almost as if I've never been able to get over him.

I don't like the feeling. Okay, so what if the ex is gorgeous, smart and what not. He broke it off, and there's no way he'll be wanting me back, I'm sure. I've always been able to cope with things like that and been able to get over break-ups quite fast.

Why not over this one? Even though I'm perfectly happy with my current fella? Why do I still have the feeling that I want him back?

I might have been in love, I really don't know. I thought I was but I've fooled myself loads of times...

I've only been out with the ex for 3 weeks - another 3 weeks when I met the current one and I was already in another relationship when I met the current boyfriend. I don't know if he's seeing someone else - I chose to stay away because of these mixed feelings I have; seeing him would only make me more confused and more frustrated.

The current relationship is exactly how I want it to be; hardly any strings attached, not serious yet. No commitment; I am kind of a commitment phobe. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's exactly what I'd been looking for. I needed my freedom and my current fella offered me that freedom.

(to the last answerer; I am actually the one who doesn't want to commit - I've been through certain things that made me commitment phobic; the very mention of marriage, or even being an item, makes me want to run for the hills. I need my freedom, and it is hard to find someone who actually understands that. I'm okay with people saying we're going out, as long as they don't say we belong together, or things like that.

I don't know how the current fella feels about the two of us, and to be honest I wouldn't mind a more serious relationship between the two of us, but those mixed feelings about my ex hold me back from asking the current one about it... surely I can't start anything serious when I'm bound to hurt his feelings?

Answer 1

well i have the same problem hes the one who broke it and all you want is to be with him just like me and your in a relationship but hes not like your last guy rite and wen you see you ex your just like wow i think hes so hot and what happened rite and he might have been the one you had your eye on for sometime and you had him and now you just want what you had

Answer 2

It sounds to me that you weren't as over the ex, or as ready for the new, as you thought you were. Sometimes, when we are very attached to people when dating, feelings linger in the strongest ways, and make it difficult to move on. Have you considered the fact that maybe you are not perfectly content with the current relationship? If you are not officially a couple right now, maybe your subconscious is telling you you want one, by reminding you of how things were with your ex. That being said, the ex did break it off. Maybe you were personally invested moreso than you thought, and when he split, you didn't get much closure on those feelings. I think it's time to evaluate how you feel, for real. Do you actually love the ex, or is it more loving the "idea" of what you had? If it's the idea of the way things used to be, it's time to take real action to creating a whole new, secure relationship with the current guy, or finding someone you can do that with if the current guy doesn't want to commit.

Answer 3

well maybe its because he has someone else and you cann't stand it that he's moved on

Answer 4

mybe your in love with him does he feel that way about you to ?get one of your freinds to ask him...

Answer 5

maybe you haven't gotten over him,