my b/f is full of it and ive literally broke up with him more than 10 15 times and he still calls and doesnt want to leave me ...i never caught him cheating but i get that feeling that he is "THAT GUT INSTINCT" theres just too many things to make me believe that he is ..ive never got a feeling like that from any of the guys ive dated this is the first time and i feel you should always trust your gut...He tells me he hasnt done anything but i know he has ...hes lied to friends...his job and even his own parents what makes him think i should believe him...Him and i dont even live together...were in two different states and a hour away from each other... He tells me he loves me and that he wants t marry me and uses the excuse of him bringing me to meet his family but soo what ....i just cant be with him anymore ..too many clues what to do
2007-03-05 08:29:43 · 20 answers · asked by KDizzle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, ask someone, does he hang around other girls or ak someone you trust , but if you cant trust him , then find someone else.
2007-03-05 08:34:21 · answer #1 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start dating someone else. If you've broken up more than once in one day you guys have some serious closure issues when you're doing it.
It makes no difference if he's cheated or not. If you dont trust him the truth of the matter has no bearing!
Plus you dont even live in the same city. Long distance relationships 80% of the time are a band-aid for lonelyness. Find someone that lives near you, not too near but you know.. closer than a state away. Dont seek out people that are unavailable and spend the entire time trying to fix it and make it work.
Talk to new people, go on a few harmless dates. His memory will quickly start to fade away and you'll realize what its like to have a better relationship with somone else. The main reason why there are 6 billion people on this planet is so that you dont get stuck with one person that does nothing but cause misery.
2007-03-05 16:32:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your situation for sure, honey. I have been there myself. I kept taking this guy back. It was like he would cast a spell over me when I was with him and I would forget my better judgment and my resolve and just melt into his arms again. He told me the same thing: he loved me, we were gonna get married. . .and all of it was lies. I never had proof, but just like you I knew he was cheating on me.
What you need to do is write down everything you are feeling and then pay him a visit and take what you have written with you. When you show up at his place, simply say, "It's over, and for good this time." Then give him the paper that explains exactly how you feel and tell him to not call you or come to your house. Then you need to walk away.
Everyone deserves someone that they can trust and that loves them totally and completely. Be like the kind of person that you would want to be with, and then look for those qualities. Don't stay in this relationship any more. You deserve better.
2007-03-05 16:41:27 · answer #3 · answered by Sari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do whats best for you, clearly this is hurting you and affecting your relationship with him and with yourself. if you are absolutely sure that he is lying, then i say dump him, he'll get the point. i know that its really hard to say goodbye, but when he cant even be fraithful to you and tell you the truth, you guys dont have a solid relationship anyways.
but if you think that he may be telling the truth then i say you guys have a serious conversation and you have to insist that you want no lies in your relationship.
the hard thing is that you can't be watching him 24/7...whether you lived with him or an hour away it doesnt matter. he'll find a way around you if he has intentions of cheating.
so dont worry about him, he'll get over it....do what you think is best for you and then you'll know that you truly made the best decision.
good luck!!!
2007-03-05 16:35:49 · answer #4 · answered by danielley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you've met someone that lives near you and you no longer want him to contact you. It does not need to be true - he has no way of knowing you're not currently seeing anyone else. If you have a guy friend that could answer your phone that would make it even better. Also, make sure you get out and meet new people - don't be home to take his calls. That way perhaps it will be the truth when you tell him you've met someone else!
2007-03-05 16:35:22 · answer #5 · answered by lunasage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really don't want to be with someone than you don't have to be with him. He lives an hour away, so I'm sure it's not so hard to cut things off. Unless he is a psycho stalker (which then you'd take things to authorities) it shouldn't be that hard to break up with him. If you're really serious about ending things for good, then you need to stick with that and cut ties with your boyfriend all together. That means not answering his calls,emails, or anything else. He'll know your serious, and he'll get the point. I know this sounds hard , but if that's what you really want then that's what you have to do. Good Luck!
2007-03-05 16:38:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but you're as much to blame as he is. You took him back 10 or 15 times, so why would he believe you're truly done with him now? And what do you mean you can't get rid of him? You can if you actually want-you say, don't ever call here again, I deserve better than you. Get lost! Then, when he calls again, you don't take his calls EVER! You cease all communication with him.
2007-03-05 16:34:33 · answer #7 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh hon. You need to stand up for yourself and just tell the guy that you can no longer see him. Then don't see him. It is that simple.
It sounds like you are wishie washie about your own needs.
Who taught you in life that it is ok to be a door mat and that you sacrafice your self just because.
Being able to break up with him and staying broke up with him will be part of you maturing and taking good care of yourself.
This is a big thing to learn. To take care of yourself.
Literally you can't be good for those you love until you learn to love yourself and take good care of yourself.
Learn to stand up for yourself and don't put up with any crap from any guy. YOU have more control over your life than you realize. If someone cheats and you keep feeling that gut feelings, then trust yourself. The best thing you can ever do for yourself is to trust your self and move on those instincts. No reason to let some guy walk all over you.
So, what if he tells you he loves you and wants to marry you?????????????????????????????????????????
You are a woman who can say no. Gosh if you said yes your life will be like it is now, you not trusting him and you wishie washie over to be or not be with him. Prevent a nightmare. Stand on your own feet and learn that you deserve a guy you can trust.
It really is simple. Take care of yourself. Only then will you be able to take care of those you love.
You need to step out of this cycle of dysfunction.
2007-03-05 16:47:49 · answer #8 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do to get rid of him is to get a restraining order, once he is served the paperwork he cannot contact you in any way without violating the order and risking a trip to jail. To do this you need to go to your local courthouse and get the proper paperwork, once you fill it out a judge will review it and either grant you a temporary order or deny it. Once a temporary order is put in place, a court date will be set and both of you will have to appear in court and tell your sides of the story to the judge, he will then make a final decision.
2007-03-05 16:35:14 · answer #9 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should leave him. You will find someone that loves you and that you can actually trust and you will be glad that you did. It may be hard, but that's what makes you feel good about yourself: you did something that was difficult and the end result was great! i wish you only the best!
2007-03-05 16:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DUMP THE DUDE! What is wrong with you, that your self esteem is so low that you have to settle for a guy that your "gut" is telling you is cheating on you!
Be strong, get rid of him... what kind of diseases are you exposing yourself to, through him and his trysts?
Dump him, change your phone number, get a new cell, whatever it takes... don't take him back... this is YOUR life... not his... Get it together and get on with what you want out of life.
2007-03-05 16:36:05 · answer #11 · answered by Blue Giants 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋