So I asked this guy out for a first date on Friday. I'm assuming that I pay for it because I'm the one who asked him out, Right?
But I've heard that regardless if a girl asks a guy out the guy should pay.
A year ago I offered to pay for something for my date and he made it a big deal and said that he would feel bad if I payed for something since Im a girl.
We're both 17 with jobs so its not as if one of use doesnt have money. I definately dont mind paying but I dont want things to be ackward and I dont want to offend him if he doesnt want me to pay.
I wanted to know what other people's opinions were on this. Why do some guys feel girls shouldnt pay and why do many people, especially girls who Ive spoken to, feel that the guy should always pay no matter what.
2007-03-05 08:18:55 · 19 answers · asked by Therapeutic Chain of Events 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the guy should pay but the girl shouldnt automatically expect it... if that makes sense
2007-03-05 08:23:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It totally depends on the guy. Most macho men get offended if you offer to pay. I would assume that If I ask someone out I would pay. But, If he insist, I would allow him to cover the bill. Some men think that it is sexy for a woman to ask him out, and to pay the bill to...would really show independence. Confident men would not make a big deal out of it And, If he were looking for a strong independent woman, you have given him the best sign there is.
2007-03-05 16:29:27 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Kamm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think like you do, if you asked him out then I would think that you would pay however I guess it's between the two of you. When the check comes take it and start to pay if he offers to pay his half thank him but tell him you got it this time. If he puts up a fight let him pay and then discuss why you thought you should pay so that next time you guys go out you both know who's paying for what.
2007-03-05 16:27:00 · answer #3 · answered by freyja5683 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally guys pay for dates, but traditionally girls don't ask guys out on dates, and girls don't go out and have real jobs. There are allot of old traditions that some people still honor. If this is someone you know to some extent before this date it shouldn't be too awkward. Mention the check before it arrives, like when you are looking over the menu before you order. Say something like It's my treat order anything you like, and then judge his reaction. If he says no I will pay, go from there if you want to you could say But I asked you out, or OK but next time I will treat. Dating is the process of learning if you like someone, but it also sets up the foundation for a potential future together. Don't worry about it to much, you still have to pick out your outfit, and you want to enjoy the date. Good Luck.
2007-03-05 16:31:38 · answer #4 · answered by krissy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
most girls are whores but don't want to be paid directly since that makes it too obvious, therefore they expect the guy to pay because they think their time is worth something. it's a stuck up thing. in an adult relationship between two intellegent people who pays varries and is really easy to talk about. but the social stimulus is on men to pay for the dinner so women act like they are owed that payment. now when it comes to me. i agree with you actually, i ask a girl out, i don't expect her to pay, after dating for a while though it's not really important one way or the other. i think your veiwpoint is a good one. just don't be afraid to ask him about how he feels on the subject becasue everyone is different.
2007-03-05 16:31:24 · answer #5 · answered by nightmare_gorilla 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is long time tradition for guys to pay for dates
What I did when I asked a guy to a movie and he paid, I said "ah......I asked you so I was going to pay" and he said "no"
so, I just let it go.
When I start dating someone I ask them their opinion on this.
And I respect them. If a guy says he wants to always pay, then I don'lt have to think about it again. Some guys don't mind a lady saying she wants to treat a guy.
Best thing to do is when you ask a guy out you say, "my treat" and if they say no. Then you let the guy pay and enjoy the date.
2007-03-05 16:28:52 · answer #6 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Consider yourself lucky. I have the same problem with women wanting to pay for things when they are out with me. When it comes down to it I am simply old fashioned just as the men u are describing. I am currently in the process of LEARNING how to accept something from a women IE birthday, Christmas gifts, etc. IT'S VERY HARD. However I am slowly realizing that this is a product of the times. My girlfriend is currently ATTEMPTING to purchase something for me but my hard headedness is preventing her.......lol. Hell, she is still getting used to me paying for everything, opening doors, having her walk on the inside part of the sidewalk, etc. But in your case consider yourself lucky that u are still finding Chivalrous men because I am hearing that we are few and far between. IF u want to seriously pay for something, it will take some goading as "chivalrous" men (like ma) feel uncomfortable when women spend money on us.
2007-03-05 16:27:51 · answer #7 · answered by Papi G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this case I would say that you have to pay because you made the invitation, but you should always offer to pay to see what he does. The other thing you can do is to 50/50 with the check.
2007-03-05 16:23:48 · answer #8 · answered by Maria Isabel 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I say definiately go to the dinner with the intent to pay...When the bill comes, try to be the first to get it (don't make a scene about it though). If he insists that he should pay say "I've got this one covered you can get the next one!" If he is insistant on paying even after this, than go ahead and let him pay, you don't want to bruise a guys ego on the first date.
2007-03-05 16:25:14 · answer #9 · answered by JesJ 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Some guys like to feel like they are man enough to take care of their woman. If I were you I would have some enough money on me to pay the date, and if lets say you go out for a movie and he wants to pay for the movie tickets..surprise him in the middle and buy a tub of popcorn you can share!
2007-03-05 16:24:27 · answer #10 · answered by Chetney W 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you asked, plan on paying. If he insists on paying, let him. That way you at least offered since you asked, but if he wants to pay then don't pick a fight about it.
2007-03-05 16:24:00 · answer #11 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋