She does not like me and everyone knows it, but for some reason my future-mother-in-law refuses to accept that fact. I don't want to disapoint her because I like her.
2007-03-05 08:15:12 · 14 answers · asked by zoed52 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Honestly, if you don't like your fiance's (not bf anymore!) sister-in-law, you shouldn't have his brother's gf in your wedding either. That's really an all or nothing, if you were going to have one and not the other, it would have to be the other way around.
Family doesn't have to like you, unfortunately. That's his brother's wife, she's going to be family very soon. You should let her have a nice dress and stand with you and sit at a head table and such, you don't have to have her do any specific duties that she could mess up in spite (or disinterest). Just dress her up and tell her to stand and smile, no harm done. =)
2007-03-05 17:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by calliope320 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother-in-law should understand if you don't want your future brother-in-law's wife in your wedding court. Your wedding court is supposed to made up of special people that you love and want to include on your special day. Anybody who doesn't like you has no right to be included.
But if you think including her in your WC will soften her hard feelings for you, try that... otherwise, cut her out. To compromise with your mother-in-law, tell her that that woman (your brother-in-law's wife) may be included in wedding photos.
If your mother-in-law keeps refusing to understand that, try giving her real life situations. If your mother-in-law has someone who dislikes her (so-and-so), ask her, "How would you like it if so-and-so had been a part of your wedding?"
Just sit down and talk to her.
Your future MIL won't hate you for stating the truth. Actually, she'd probably like that much more than someone who dislikes you being in the wedding.
2007-03-05 16:29:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, if you're including one brother's girlfriend then you definitely have to include the other brother's wife. As much as you may not like it, she is even more a part of your groom's family than the girlfriend is. You don't have to include her as a part of the wedding party (like as a bridesmaid), but you should find some way for her to participate -- maybe doing a reading of some sort at the ceremony. I know that the two of you don't like each other, but when it comes down to it, you don't want to be the cause of any conflict that lasts well into the future.
2007-03-05 16:26:14 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but if she does not like you and everyone knows it why are you even thinking of having her inthe wedding. I can understand wanting to keep peace and since you do have the girlfriend in the party it would be very nice of you to include you future sister in law, because that is what she is gonna be. Perhaps if you do put her in the wedding party she might change her mind and her ways and you two could start to get along. Take the High Road and let her be in the wedding.
2007-03-05 16:26:23 · answer #4 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's interesting that you would use an antiquated term like 'wedding court', are you British (not mocking you, just curious because I have an advit fascination with all things from Queen Anne/King Henry VIII era). At anyrate, your bridesmaids should be your friends, women you feel close to and trust - if you feel this girlfriend of your boyfriend's brother doesn't fit that bill, then certainly don't as her to be in your court. It's not as though she's your sister-in-law. It's your wedding, have only those you want there with you. Good luck.
2007-03-05 16:34:22 · answer #5 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definately do not have to have her as an honor attendant, but to keep the peace with your FMIL, sit down with your fiance and discuss other potential roles for her (guest book attendant, reception hostess, etc.). Then once you've come up with something simply ask her if she would like to be involved in that capacity. If she really isn't interested, she'll probably decline anyway. And if your FMIL asks, you can at least say you tried to include her. I think it's great that you are willing to help keep the peace with your FMIL. I wish more people would do the same. After all, she will always be your fiance's mother.
2007-03-05 23:32:57 · answer #6 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no once can force u to have people in ur wedding that u dont want. y should u be uncomfortable? ur fmil wants to save face because people will be asking why is she not in attendance and the other one is, when the answer is obvious. if she is so concerened let her make up a story for the guests but dont be bullied into adding someone u prefer not to be in ur party. remeber your attendants are persons of trust and dependability. if she doesnt like u what are u putting her in charge of and how will it turn out if she does? think about it. like fmil, but dont have unwanted in the wedding party.
2007-03-05 18:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by ray g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you don't have to include your bf's brothers wife in your court. This is your wedding not theirs.
You don't want to ruin your wedding if you don't like someone in your court.
2007-03-05 16:24:41 · answer #8 · answered by sandrathelover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If your mother in law gives you flake, just calmly say " I'm sorry you are disapointed, but I'm close with X but not with Y ...it's nothing personal"
DON"T play into the drama, because it'll become excessive. BE firm now...
2007-03-05 16:23:28 · answer #9 · answered by APV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its your day! dont have anyone in your wedding that you dont get along with just to make someone else happy. you will not be happy in the end and regret it. dont worry about disapointing someone. just explain it to them and give your reasons in an adult manner.
2007-03-05 16:27:12 · answer #10 · answered by Awesome Rockin Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋