How to handle this?

Question

I am graduating this May, and I want to send notices of it to family members. Well, I want some of my family to come and then some not to come. SO what do I send to the family members that I dont want to come so that they wont feel left out? I dont want them to come because they dont get along with the others, but frankly, I want them to send me congratulations or money.

What do announcements say/ Im making my own.

Ok some of you guys dont understand-I get along fine with all of my family. And to say that Im being "tacky" by just wanting a gift from them instead of having them fly across the country for 1 day isnt right. Im telling the truth, at least. Its not MY fault that some people cant resolve thier issues between my divorced parents familys. You dont know me and you dont know my story, so please, dont judge me.

Answer 1

Send invitaions to the ones you want to come to the party, and simple announcements to the ones you don't. On the announcements keep it simple, like - "Congratulations! Jane is graduating on 05-00-07 with honors!" Don't mention a party, but maybe include a picture with the announcements. If someone who receives one ASKS about a party say "oh, we're not doing anything special, but if you want we could do lunch!"

Answer 2

Well, first of let me say: how very tacky. But if you really want an answer; you send announcements to the people you don't want to show up. You send invitations to those you want to come. There is nothing wrong with only sending announcements to some people, but to do so because you want gifts without seeing them is not nice at all.

Answer 3

If they don't get on, and this is an open secret within the family, I'd say that it's up to them to sort it out. That is - especially if you want their congratulations and prizes - you send out the notices and don't involve yourself in their disputes. (I take it that you get along with all or most of them?) Can you go half-way towards meeting them by arranging two celebratory gatherings, which ought to be enough of a hint to the warring factions that some can come to one and some to another? That might mean some of them missing the ceremony, but maybe you can get it videoed or something like that? And if you can use geography/travelling time as part of your reason/excuse for two gatherings, that might help also.

I think that if you didn't send notices to some members, you'd cause offence and - assuming that you do get on with most of them - this is something you want to avoid. It's a tough one, though; I quit speaking to my siblings some time ago and it's getting close to the time when the older generation will start dying out, and I'm stuck for a resolution about how to handle that when the time comes. So this is the best suggestion I can offer.

Answer 4

You'll send invitations to the ones you want there and send announcements to the ones you don't. In the invitations, make sure to give RSVP information and leave no hint of reply in the announcements.

Answer 5

The thing is, it is wrong to reject their presence, but want their gifts|

It is understandable why you wouldn't want some people around - everyone has that difficulty with some|

But if that is the case, don't desire or expect gifts from them at the same time, since a gift from someone, properly speaking, is a sign of their love for you|




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Answer 6

send invitations to the ones you want to come bearing gifts
send announcements to the ones you want to send gifts

Answer 7

If you don't want them to come you have to be prepared not to get a gift. Either you have to invite them or not expect anything.

Answer 8

It's their problem that they don't get along with the others...invite them..it's their decision if they want to come or not.

Answer 9

i would just invite them and tough it out. you would still get the money but you would still have to put up with them. sometimes that is all you can do.