if your child is jumped at school and defends himself, should he be punished?

Question

my son was attacked at school by another boy. the other boy slammed my boy in the head with a lunch tray, then both the boys were made to clean the mess up, even though it was reported that my son was minding his own business when this happened. then after both boys were sent to class the other boy jumped my son on the stairs, knocking him down the stairs. at the bottom of the stairs my son got up and was forced to defend himself by punching the other boy because the other boy was punching him.
my son was punished by being suspended out of school for 3 days. this is now on his permanent record. the thing is my son has never been in trouble at school, and carries straight a's. he's 13 and now he has a negative outlook on school rules and the way they are inforced, and i can't say i blame him.

both boys were suspended, and after this other boy made a third attempt at my son, but was this time stopped by a teacher, i made it clear that this other boy be kept away from my son. they even changed the other boys schedual to get him out of the classes that he and my boy share. my son did not get into any trouble at home. i tell him that if he starts the fight he's in for it, but if someone else puts their hands on him to react as if his life were on the line, because now days it just might be. but my boy has to see a juvanile officer now. i think that part is really stupid.

Answer 1

Having to see a juvi officer is stupid and degrading to a child who did no wrong. My parents taught me that if I was hit first then I had the right to hit back, regardless of what the school rule was. There was only once that I struck out at a girl who did me no wrong, and it was because she was picking on my brother (he was 7 and she was 12...I was 10). She shoved my brother into the wall before school started, causing him to hit his head and split it open (lots of stitches). I had wrapped the laces of my roller skates around my wrist and commenced "wailing" on her (struck her several times). I knew then it was overkill but this girl had been brutalizing my brother all school year. School did nothing because her parents were wealthy and contributed to a lot of school funding. I was never suspended, because my parents had documented all the incedents between her and my brother and threatened the school and her family with a lawyer if anything was done to me. And while I certainly do not condone my actions now as an adult (I am 28), she never bothered my brother again. I know it was wrong, but after everyone failing to protect my brother, I felt that I had no choice. Girl still walks with a limp last time I saw her (4 years ago). But this whole thing happened back in 1988...and schools have gotten increasingly worse about punishing. If a child defends themself, then there should be nothing done to the child. Get a lawyer and threaten the school board to get it off his record and hope you enjoyed his 3 day weekend.

Answer 2

No, I Dont Think He Should Be Punished Many People Would Do The Same Thing At My School The Person Who Hit Someone First Is The One To Get In Trouble And A Ticket But Your Son Shouldnt Get Punished For Defending Him Self Ecspecially If It Happend 2 Times You Should Talk To Your Son To Make Sure 100% That He Was Showing No Int entions To Fight Or Wanting To Fight Once So Ever

Answer 3

That is wrong but unfortunatly with the way schools are now this is how they do it :( You can request a meeting with this childs parent but think carefully before you do alot of time the parents are why the child acts this way. You can request a hearing for this suspension the schools where I am do this I would at least check in to it also go to the school board about this be a pest this is the only way I have found the school will listen. Good luck and let you son no that things may not be fair but that he did what was right to protect himself and there is nothing WRONG with that.

Answer 4

Your son did the right thing by protecting himself. He shouldn't have been suspended for defending himself and the boy attacked him twice that's ridiculous. Were both boys suspended?? If so then understandable defending or not I could see both being suspended but if your son was the only one suspended and he was just defending himself then you should fight to have that taken off his record because that is telling students that being a bully is acceptable and if you stand up for yourself then you will be punished and that is very backwards and unfair. Your son learned a hard lesson early, a lot of times rules are unfair to the goodguys!!

Answer 5

You need to take this to the highest person in his school system. Obviously this has been an on going problem with boys bullying your son and the faculty and staff did nothing to stop it. This lead your child to do whatever he had to do in order to defend himself because no adult would. The school needs to look at this issue very seriously because these boys who are bullying your son probably bully other people too. Teachers should always break these things up but unfortunately the schools are overpopulated and some teachers just don't pay attention. Good Luck!

Answer 6

My nephew had similar trouble at school - he was first suspended because they put him on litter duty (picking up litter around the school) without gloves, and he refused.

The second time, a boy pushed his brother over and kicked him, so he grabbed the boy by the collar and pushed him back over.

The THIRD time, he supposidly tackled a team member while playing tackle rugby - but he denies it, the teacher didn't see it and the other kids say he didn't do anything wrong. They brought it up on the school commitee trying to get him expelled. However, they turned it around when we brought in a child's lawyer, and it was the principal that got into trouble for picking on him. All three were wiped from his school record.

The final time - he supposidly 'purposly' hit a ball directly behind him, so he could hit the child in the head while playing cricket. My sister got him to change his school - he didn't like it at first because of friends, but he's settled in well - and there hasn't been a word of 'bad behaviour'.

Not sure, but that school was just awfully funny around him. He's a bright kid and tends to get good grades, but not too sure why he tended to get picked on by his principal...

Answer 7

Unfortunately in these days of political correctness, one cannot defend himself but must take whatever is heaped on him.

According to your telling, your son was in the right and the other kid should have been suspended. I would get an attorney involved, I think, and attempt to force some sense into the school board.
Good luck.

Answer 8

About them both cleaning up the mess that was not wrong, I assume they thought they would have a chance to talk about the fight. Now with the boy hitting your son and him defending himself, he SHOULD NOT have been punished for that. What was your son suppose to do take it and get hurt?? The school should have peer counseling set up for your son and the boy so that they can talk with kids there own age about this and work it out. Don't worry about the permanent record, Your son wasn't wrong for defending himself and he knows that.

Answer 9

That happened to my sister when we were young- she was the new kid in school,and both her and I were kind of nerdy and chubby, so she got teased and picked on all the time. She got suspended so many times, for hitting back when the kids hit her, and it wasn't her fault at all. It didn't stop until my mother talked to the principal, and she brought couple kids who had seen what had happened,
Go talk to the teachers and the principal, and make sure you have and your son the names of several kids who saw what happened and who are willing to tell the truth .
The mark on his record won't really not harm your son, but he really shouldn't be punished when he defended himself, especially because he was not violent until the other boy kicked him.
Definitely talk to the teacher, the principal, and the guidance counselor.

Answer 10

No, I do not think he should be punished in that situation. What is he supposed to do, just sit there and let that creep beat him up? I agree with you on this one. My son is 16 and there was another boy picking on him earlier in the year. I told him if he keeps on to give him a black eye. It never came to that but he certainly would not have gotten in trouble at home for it.

It's a shame your son got suspended but I think that's a small price to pay for what happened. I think he did the right thing.