How do younger people greet you or refer to you?

Question

My wife and I are 30 and have a 2 year old son and we refer to our neighbors and friends as Mr or Mrs so and so...This is the way we were brought-up. It is a way of showing respect for your elders. My wife and I have been somewhat troubled by the fact that our friends and neighbors (especially the ones of similar age) teach their children to refer to my wife and I by our first names. For example, my neighbor will say something like this to their child, "Say hello to John." I prefer to be refered to as Mr. (insert last name here). How can we correct others without making things difficult and awkward with our friends and neighbors? By the way, I attribute this lack of formality to the "casuasling of America." In today's world, we are all thought to be equals and that is just not the case. What are your thoughts on this subject and how also would you fix it?

Answer 1

I think there are many other ways to show respect for others, elders included, than by what you call them. If these people do not catch one by the way you have your son address them, then I don't think there is much you can do about it without things becoming awkward. After all, these are just neighbors you want to be on good terms with. You can deal with your friends differently by explaining to them how you feel.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, times are changing. While I respect and appreciate your position, there's no one simple way to address the issue. People are trying to be too "PC" with their own children these days, and not teaching them the proper respect. I miss the days when a kid stepped out of line, and got a good old fashion butt wuppin'. But these kids now...my cousins 8 year old threatened to call the police for a spanking. Not that this is the answer to all disciplinary problems....

But to get back to your question, When you're adressed as John, simply smile and in a polite manner say something like...
" Oh hey...you can just call me Mr. (insert your name here)", as though you're making light of the situation. This way, you're being polite, without being directly confrontational about it, and you're not going to upset the parents by telling lecturing their kid.

Answer 3

My husband and I are in our 50's. I was brought up to call people either Mr/Mrs or Auntie/Uncle (if they were close family friends). I would handle this as it your name had been mispronounced, maybe something like," Your dad/mom calls me John, but YOU can call me Mr Smith," or something like that. If it's someone who's just a neighbor, it's really a "no-never-mind," if it's a friend or family member, I would be more insistant. For instance, if the adult didn't "take the hint," I'd take them aside to explain. Most folks are just ignorant or thoughtless, not malicious, so that should be the end of it.

Answer 4

Well I let everyone I like call me by my regular/nick name but people I don't like have to call me by my nickname. I'm not married or old yet so I don't feel the need for a Ms. or Mrs. unless the person is a stranger or someone I just don't like right off the bat.

Answer 5

Sounds like you are a bit stuckup. I am 60, and prefer my grandchildren and others to call me by my first name. Titles create a distance, and I prefer to be close to my progeny, as well as other kids in the neighbourhood. I don't mind when someone calls me Mr., but it is unnecessary if you have high self-esteem.

Answer 6

I am 20. I work full time and at first had a hard time referring to my co-workers by their first name (30+). When I volunteer at schools I prefer to be called my first name.

I suggest that you go to your friends, and state you are an "old Fashioned" couple, and you would prefer to be called by your last name by their children.

Answer 7

You are correct. Children should never refer to the friends of their parents by anything other than Mr &/or Mrs.

There is, howver, an allowance for southerners who routinely teach their children to refer to all adult women as "ma'am" and all adult men as "Sir" as in "yes ma'am" and "yes, sir." I think that is certainly preferable to being called by my first name by someone's child.

Answer 8

I'm with you all the way..... my daughter-in-law keeps incouraging my grandaughters to call me grandpa mike... I keep encouraging them to just say grandpa, and when speaking to others about me to use Grandpa(last name) or Grandfather(last name)... my daughter-in-law seems to be totaly deaf when I remind her... and don't even think about hearing the more formal "grandfather" in any context. It took me a year to stop the PaPa mike nonsence.... fix it?.... I try the blunt aproach.... today that don't seem to work... rude is becoming so ingrainded in this declining culture that the formality of social interaction is lost.

I was going to say social intercourse... but that is way out of the current understanding.

Answer 9

it would be respectable to address older people by mr ??? or mrs ??? but all parents are different. where u teach ur child to say mr or mrs williams i teach mine to say mr ben or mrs sally to my frenz only, to other adults its their last names i teach my children to use. i think u should try talking to ur frenz and explain to them what u would like to be called by their children. hopefully it wont cause any confusion. good luck!