My boyfriend and I were right at the two and a half year mark when he broke up with me. This was about 2 weeks ago. Every other night he calls me and tells me how much he loves me and regrets it. Then the next day he tells me he hates me and doesn't want to talk to me ever again. His behavior is rude and not how you would treat someone you love. I'm not sure if he is confused or just playing games with me? Any thoughts? Is me calling him just what he wants? Should I ignore him or give him a taste of his own medicine?
Details:
-He broke up with me because he said he wants to get closer to god.
-He is 21 & I am 19
-He still lives at home with his parents.
-His parents hate me for wanting him to move out
-His mom is the only person he talks to about "relationship advice"
-She is slightly biased obviously
2007-03-05 07:51:26 · 11 answers · asked by danielle_renee119 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just the fact that the word "hate" comes out of his mouth is reason enough to run and hide. Let alone the schizo behavior. What do you think is wrong with you that you would have to put up with that abuse? Do you somehow think he is going to stop?
2007-03-05 07:54:56 · answer #1 · answered by Kacky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship like this years ago. What you would call a "love and hate" relationship. We'd break up and 6-8 months later get back together (over a 10 year period) and when we were broken up he would tell me how much he loved me, the same song and dance you are hearing now. I too, got the "hate you" speech when he was ready to break up. My advice to you.... Break it off period! And for good! Wish I had this advice back then.
You deserve to be treated better and this man is showing early signs of being mentally abusive which eventually will cascade into physical abuse. I know because I went through it. He does not respect you but wants to control you and seems when things are not going his way...he wants you back thus "I love you..." but when he might get lucky elsewhere is when he starts the hating scenario. He is playing you and hoping to keep you around for a safety net.
Love yourself first! You do not need a man to make you feel good about yourself...all you need is to feel good about who you are. Let him go and stay away from him. When you least likely expect it...someone worthy of YOU will come into your life. You have a whole life ahead of you and do not need to commit yourself forever right now.
2007-03-05 16:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by belen2499 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is lost himself and can't figure out what he wants, maybe you need to break and let him think things through, don't answer your phone that way he will think you are not home, don't do anything as a revenge to get back at him, If he broke up with you to get closer to God then the only person at this point that can help him is God, Although maybe you should think about moving on with you life and find someone better and won't be wishwashy about what they want, if you have a positive person in you life it will make things better for you. Why do you care what his mother thinks you are not married to this guy. Don't set yourself up for playing mind games with him you are wasting you time on that. If he gets serious and wants you in his life then he will come to you and say I am serious and have thought things through and I want you in my life, if not then he will continue to be that way until he changes it. Don't worry yourself over nothing, it won't do you any good.
2007-03-05 15:59:41 · answer #3 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee, that's really "Godly" of him to break up with you, tell you how he loves you and regrets it, then suddenly hates you. Way to be Christ-like. At 21, it's normal to still live at home, especially if school/college is near home. It saves on rent. He sounds like a bad deal all around, I would suggest ignoring him, not answering his calls, and move on. You don't need a momma's boy who is not only a hypocrite but can't be a man without his mamma's permission.
2007-03-05 15:57:19 · answer #4 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he wants two things, you and his mother's approval.. he probably does really care about you but cant seem to cut the cord with his mom. The days he says he hates you and is downright rude are the days that he decides that even though he loves you, he cant disobey his mom, so he is SUPER mean to you hoping that you will hate him and make it easier for him that way. My guess is that he doesnt want to break your heart and that is why he is mean. And then is nice to you because he can't put up the front anymore.. I would have a serious conversation about him mom on one of the days he seems nicer to you.. but DO NOT call him
2007-03-05 15:56:49 · answer #5 · answered by lindsay g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U need to move on... he doesn't deserve you if he plays games with you like that! Even if he does love you and he only broke up with you because of his mom, u don't need someone thats so strongly attached to his parents... He still lives with his parents??? and he is 21?? he does seem like a guy with problems.... MOVE ON ASAP!
2007-03-05 15:59:02 · answer #6 · answered by da1nsolo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
danielle-
You are only 19.It might seem like the end of the world right now but it's not.It will be hard after 21/2 years but you have time.In the experiences of myself and my close friends we didn't start having real serious fun until we were in our mid-20s.And if he is a mama's boy and there's conflict between you and his parents then it would only come back on you.
Try to hang out with your girlfriends and go out have fun.If it's meant to be then you will find your ways back to one another
2007-03-05 16:02:09 · answer #7 · answered by bjustnape 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's having a crisis. Sounds like you and his mom have put him squarely in the middle of a power struggle,
Why do you want him to move out of his parents' home? Doesn't sound like he's ready to do that.
2007-03-05 15:57:45 · answer #8 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should let him go, you dont need a little kid that cant take care of himself and obiously needs mommy to take care of him, just move on and enjoy dating someone else as suppost to making your life miserable
2007-03-05 15:55:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a douchebag and you should just ignore him altogether.
2007-03-05 15:56:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋