things are not working out for me. Going through a lot of crap. In need of guidance. Help!?

Question

am a college freshman male, and I am currently going through a lot of ****. I finished my first semester pretty strong, but this semester I am so struggling. I bombed all of my first exams: organic chemistry, multivariable calculus, and biology. Everything I thought I was pretty good at. I take my poor performance as a wake-up call and am trying to make some changes. I rearranged things in my room, hid everything that seems to distract me, and etc. However, I am so stressed out. I keep telling myself that I will literally kill the next exams, but the school is so full of hard-working ppl that I am sort of going crazy.
There are also other things that bother me greatly. I had a knee injury while doing squats in November, and it is still affecting my mood. And there is a girl of my interest, but things aren't working out the way I want them to be. For example, I was gonna ask her to lunch today, but she was sick and didn't come to class. I have to wait till next monday for counseling.

i need to get the f out of this depressed state. Even though I didn't start this semester strong, I really want to finish strong by accomplishing all of my goals; getting straight A's, winning the girl's heart, and gaining additional 10 pounds of muscle. Please help me out. I need help, but I don't need God's help, for I would like to learn how to solve my problems myself. Thanks for reading this.

Answer 1

you sound depressed.. You have a lto going on in your life, stress, inujuries, girl problems, ...
1st. You need a way to deal with stress. Think are you taking classes that are too hard? If so drop some or get tutroing
Make a schedule to maintain work and talk to professors
Start Yoga it'll help you deal with stress ( lots of guys do it) it'll also help with your knee injury
Biking can also get out some stress as can art or some other hobby
DOn't comapre yourself to the other kids in your school focus on yourself... Dont' sweat about the girl she'll prbaly sya yes adn even if she doenst' wahtever... shes' one of many..
Does your school offer free counseling? if so take advantage of it becuase having osmeone to talk to can really help
College is stressful talk ot your advisor
Get a psychologist..

Answer 2

Remind yourself that you finished your first semester strong and that you are capable of doing the same this semester -- maybe not as strong but that's okay. Next remind yourself that you are a freshmen. On top of the list of difficult courses you are working on, you are working on a whole new lifestyle, new social setting, new friends, new surroundings, becoming a full-fledged adult. This whole new world has finally settled in on you and you sound like you may be feeling overwhelmed. Now take a deep breath. You're going to be fine. Give yourself a break. You've already recognized that you needed a wakeup call. Good for you -- some people never hear that call. Consider if there was some big change between first and second semesters. Could that be the cause of what sounds like a temporary loss of focus? If there were no big changes, review what habits you practiced the first semester that made you successful. Try reapplying those habits but don't forget that it is unlikely the courses you are working on will get easier as the semester progresses, they may in fact just get harder. You may have to find new strategies to succeed at the level you seem to want. Don't forget study groups can be very helpful. You sound bright and like a hard worker. Don't compare yourself to others -- there is no telling what makes them tick or what is going on in their heads. Talk to your counseler as often as needed. Good luck.

Answer 3

Depression sucks, I myself battle it all the time. I actually was in a similar situation as you when I was a sophomore. But I never recovered. I ended up getting kicked out of school because I could not motivate myself to go to class. Look I know school is important to you, but you need to get rid of some stress. First I would say stay away from the girls right now, reason being is any bad experience you have with them is just going to make your depression worse. Plus you a girl can't make you happy, you need to be happy on your own before a relationship can work. Second maybe you shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself to get all As. Yes grades are very important but college is harder than high school, and some classes you may find are not going to be easy for you. So pick out your hardest class and say you know what I will be okay with a B this time. At least for now. And next semester mix in some easy classes. So if you take a heavy calculus or bio class take an easy class with it. And if you see yourself dropping any further into depression get some help. Oh yeah as far as the muscle goes, stay away from drugs. It will only make things worse. Plus if you are stressed sometime it causes weight loss or gain depending on the person. Use the gym to blow of steam, you are young the muscle and weight will build in time.

Answer 4

You aren't alone. Freshman year of college is a highly stressful time for students. Being outside your comfort zone, dealing with new social situations and an increased workload. I'm sure you also feel pressure from yourself, your professors, your parents and even friends. The most important thing you can do for yourself is to take care of your mental health.

Talk to your parents about some of the problems you have had with your studies. Or if you don't feel comfortable, use the student services that your college offers (believe me, they are there for a reason!). You can figure out what you can do to improve and what things you can avoid that are hindering you. Though you may feel that this failure is an indication of how your life is turning out, it isn't. You still have three more years to grow academically, socially, professionally and mentally.

If you feel that it is the "crowd" you are hanging out with, then try getting to know other people in your classes. Try joining some campus clubs or a fraternity (if you wish). Get a tutor to help you with your studies and start testing out what studies you feel you like -- as well as studies you feel you excel at best.

Take a deep breathe and relax. Remember that you are not alone and that you will make it through! In four years, you will turn around and be amazed at how much you have grown and how much you have accomplished. College were some of the best years of my life, full of academic pursuits, parties and the bestes friends a girl could hope for. Good luck!

Answer 5

There is a LOT of stress at college, and they provide excellent counselors. It sounds like you are already scheduled to meet with one, so that is good. They will decide the level of your depression and if you need meds, etc, or just need to talk it out. It also sounds like you are very hard on yourself. The exams you bombed are HARD subjects. Give yourself a break, get a tutor, and calm down. It sounds like you are working hard.

Exercise is an important stress reliever, which is why the knee injury may be affecting your mood. Go for walks if you can or swimming if possible. As for the girl, relax. Things will work out, if not with her, then someone else later.

Answer 6

Sounds like you are trying to become a superman on your own. Sorry that doesn't work. You had better look at the gifts God has given you instead of turning your cheek? Does God make you feel inferior? Thats because you are inferior in front of him. Afraid of what he's going to tell you? Are you learning in an area that you are good at which brings out your gifts God has given you, or in an area that you only wish you were good at or people expect you to be good at. Better step back and take a look at your plan before it crashes. Asking for help is not a weakness, its a strength. By the way God is hard to hear, you have to really listen and when you think you have the answer, check the answer using Gods direction and rules. If it doesn't fit, you must omit. You can't go wrong if you pick the right direction. Good luck. This may not be the answer you are looking for but it is the right one.

Answer 7

Hey, you shouldn't be hard on yourself. It's obvious that you take school seriously and that you want to do well but you also have to realize that your accomplishments cant come at the expense of your own well being and sanity. You should maybe see a guidance counselor and talk with them. It may help relieve some of your stress. It might help to take less classes so you can put more effort and concentration on the ones you take. Another stress relief is exercise. It's a great way to take time out for yourself and a great way to release tension, not to mention it's great for your health and for you. Do things with friends, get a hobby or a pasttime and then relationships can develop from that. Know your self worth and don't sweat the small things, life is too short to constantly worry about whether or not you can achieve everything at the pace we want. You obviously work hard to get where you want in lifee but you have to enjoy it too! Hope this helps! Take Care!

Answer 8

Wow you sound like a typical college student to me. I remember those days it was awful and I wouldn't ever go back. I had trouble with anatomy and I had mono and my boyfriend cheated on me it was awful. I got counseling and I got a tutor. I also talked to my professor and told him that I was going through a lot and I didn't know if I could handle it. I told him that this class was too hard for me but I wanted to do well I just didn't know how. He came up with some extra time for me and set me up with my tutor. I ended up studying so much that I forgot about my boyfriend and even about trying to get another one and then when I got a B+ sorry not an A but better than an F, I was so happy I went out with my friends and met a guy. Life still is hard but I know that I got through that so I can get through anything. Just work hard get help if you need it and relax, take some time to do something you enjoy. Ask the girl out next week it will be fine, and go to the school nurse for your knee. Or go to the doctor. maybe there is something they can give you for the pain. And read up on nutrition to get bulk, DON'T DO DRUGS! Okay well, good luck my friend. I hope all works out for you.

Answer 9

Sounds like you have all you need to change and I feel confident, by just reading your question. that you'll do what you say.

You recognize some changes need to be made, you're focussing on a goal, you've investigated some means to do so (rearranging your room, ridding yourself of distractions, making an appt for counselling). You seem to have ambition, will to change, and the know-how to do so.

Keep your head up. Follow through on your plans and you'll turn this around. I too had a similar wake up call freshman year. I bombed 2 exams and had to take one class over. I'm now finishing a PhD....

Answer 10

I am sorry that you are feeling so down right now. Your plate is definitely full. You have put a lot of demands on yourself and that is good but, it is also good to lessen the load sometimes. I commend you on your high expectations for yourself in school. Your classes are not easy. I don't think you should be so hard on yourself because you did not do so well on your exams this semester. I think you are taking the right steps by making changes to help improve your scores on the next exams but, you did not suggest that you are doing anything fun outside of your studies. I really think it is important to do things you enjoy just for peace of mind. Studying and focusing on your exams all the time, will drive you crazy. Find other activities you enjoy and make time for them. Give yourself a break. And as for the girl, just wait until next Monday to ask her out. You will be in a better frame of mind and it will go smoother. People can pick up on moods and it is probably for the best that she was unavailable for you to ask her out today. Good luck on your exams and take it easy.

Answer 11

Man, aside from what these other people say, I really don't think you're clinically depressed, just in a tough situation.

Take it all one step at a time, and try not to think about how overwhelmed you feel, it only makes things worse. Manage your time more wisely. If you eat lunch every day like I'm assuming you do, and she eats lunch every day like I'm assuming she does too, I'm sure you'll work something out sooner or later. The muscle building seems to be the least important, so just keep that at the back of your head. As far as your classes go.. well ****, if I had classes like those, I'd be failing them too! Don't worry about the hardworking people, just worry about yourself. Or, if there's something in one of the classes that you just don't understand, why not ask one of your other classmates for help sometime? I don't know, lol. Good luck.