your man is against any form of birth control (besides the pull-out method which isn't really one at all) because of a religion issue? I asked him what he thought about it a few months ago and he said it was against his religion, which is fine with me. Well guess what? I'm 12 weeks preggo now but were totally fine with it but after the baby, I don't want to get pregnant for at least 2 or 3 more years. I've thought about getting on birth control and not telling him. I'm not good at all about hiding things (not that I should be) and I have a feeling it will eat me up to hide this from him. Would you hide this from your man or do any of you do this now?
2007-03-05 07:49:16 · 18 answers · asked by DGBrandy 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Congrats on the new baby =) xoxo that's always wonderful news, but if you don't want to have another child for at least 2-3 more years, make it clear to him and tell him that you're going to on birthcontrol, because it's your life too. If he truely loves you, he'll understand.
2007-03-05 07:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by Freddie xoxo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be open and honest with him. I would tell him that you don't think it's a good idea to have any more kids right away and you want to either go on birth control or you can tell him you just wont have sex with him.
It's hard, but try to explain to him that it's against his religion and you aren't against it. If you are on the pill it will have nothing to do with him and he won't even know the difference, but I wouldn't hide it from him.
I think you should just sit down and talk to him about it, because it is an important matter, and try to explain how the stress, financials and being pregnant again so close to finally feeling back to normal might make you guys feel!
Good luck, I hope it all works out for the best!
2007-03-05 08:35:58 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you two should take some time to get to know each other better and agree to come to a solution together rather than it being black and white (either he gets his way or you get your way) - you have to find your way together. For example, maybe you could use the rhythm method if your cycles are predictable. Spend time learning more about each other's religious beliefs. You're forming a family now and I'm guessing his religion might have a few more surprises about childrearing. Now is a great time to talk about it while your pregnant and have a few months. You might want to wait a couple weeks though as I was super moody from 12-15 weeks pregnant.
2007-03-05 08:01:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mojito Burrito 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would have told him to take a hike before I got pregnant because other then cathlics who don't belive in birth control I don't know of any religion that would not allow it also I would have asked him if he is soooo religiose that he will not let you use pertection why is he having sex before marrage? I would just flat out tell him I am sorry babe but I don't want to have any more kids till this one is 2 or 3 years of age and to make sure that doesn't happen my doctor has put me on birth control (because it is not medicaly healthy to get pregnant before 2 or 3 years after having a kid anyway). It is either this or we don't have sex at all till we are ready to have kids again. Congrats with the baby since you are happy about it.
2007-03-05 07:57:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should discuss it over again with him. Try to tell him that you understand and respect his religion but that there is just no other alternative unless he has one, and if he still doesn't think it's a good idea then go to a professional counselor to speak to him and explain to him that taking birth control methods is only protecting you two until you are both ready because in a relationship it's about supporting each others opinion no matter what weather Right? or Wrong?
2007-03-05 08:07:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Religion is a odd thing. If your husband is against birth control due to his religion, I wouldnt mess with it. He may feel that any form of a baby wheather it be just the part that gets "knocked down" by birth control, is a life and gift from god. Just talk with him about your wishes and spacing out the babies and if your husband is truly a wonderful husband as I'm sure he is, he will understand and discuss with you all options to make you both happy.
2007-03-05 07:55:31 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you married to him? If so, then this was something you two should have discussed WAY in advance of marriage.
If not, then the fact that he's against birth control but okay with pre-marital sex and children out of wedlock just shows his hypocrisy (sp?).
You should, however, not lie to him under any circumstances. It can always come back to bite you in the a** later and cause a lot bigger problems.
You need to make a decision. If he's unwilling to use a condom, then you have every right to use birth control. Be upfront with him and lay down the law. If he wants to continue having sex with you then he needs to accept your decision. If not...then maybe it's better you know now.
But like I said earlier...this is a decision you need to make on your own and you need to decide just how stubborn you're going to be about it and what you're willing to potentially lose should he not agree with your decision.
2007-03-05 07:57:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is not a subject I would hide from my partner. Trust me, you can and will get pregnant very quickly after having a baby. My last two kids are 11 months apart. If this is not something you want to have happen then you should talk to your OB/GYN about it. They may be able to help counsel you as to how to handle the situation with your partner. When it comes right down to it, this is your body and you will be the one ultimately responsible for the care of the children.
2007-03-05 08:05:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok let me get this right. Ur BOY FRIEND is against birth control but is ok with sex BEFOR marriage? U are now preg!!!! That makes no scence at all. If he is against birth control then tell him he dont have to wear a condom to protect his self but YOU are not against birth control so U can get on it. U are not HIM so U can go do that. He is SOOOO LAME. every man is going to use that one now!!!! " its against my religion honey!!!! OH but we can screw as much as we want and bring as many kids into the world as we can because im a dumb a** and dont look at sex befor marriage as a sin" what religion is he in?! If he is going to bring religion into all this then he need to get his facts straight and do it right. dont consider one thing ok and the next wrong just to make his self happy. He just knocked U up and is putting u in a situation where u dont know what to do now not to get preg again!!! he sounds selfish and ignorant to me. STUPID BOY!!! He dont know what he is talking about. Yea... go have a few kids of HIS and then make HIM pay child support. I bet he would regret telling u a bunch of crap like that again.
2007-03-05 08:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by goober 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Selective adherence to religion is an interesting phenomenon. That same religion, I bet, also forbids sex before marriage, for example. He sounds pretty patriarchal, in my opinion.
If you want to stay with him, you're going to have to practice birth control without his knowledge or assistance, because he doesn't even 'get it' that him practicing his religion doesn't meant that YOU don't have to follow his religion!
He may mature beyond this level at some point, at which time you can discuss it with him. But until then, this issue is a potential dealbreaker.
2007-03-05 08:09:13 · answer #10 · answered by nora22000 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋