I myself gained some weight and acknowledged it. We both tried to go on healthy diets and exercise and I was able to get myself in shape. However its seems to me that she doesn't want to lose any weight. And again, this topic is very sensitive because everyone one has their perfect wait that they are themselves comfortable with and maybe that is hers. I tried number of ways: such as asking her to go to park and play freeze with me, or trying to ask her to join dancing classes with me, etc. Its seems to me that she always procrastinate the exercise activity but never actually does. This is concerning to me, because in my opinion she is a beautiful girl but the extra weight she put does not look right for her. One time, when she wanted to have sex with me, I had to say I was very tired just because I saw her in the lingerie and did not get turned on as I used to. This is a concern to me and I want to bring this up to her, without upsetting her that much. Girls, please give advice.
2007-03-05 07:37:50 · 14 answers · asked by Iamverybroken 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank for your answers. Most of your had good things to say that will 1) give me a different prespective on things (ricepat2000), 2) help me understand the weight issue in women's world. Thanks for good answers.
2007-03-05 08:28:56 · update #1
If you start working out and go for walks and just generally do healthy things she will join in if she really wants to be with you.
2007-03-05 07:41:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I am going strictly by what you're saying. You gained some weight and lost it. That is good, and I am sure you lost it by doing things you find fun to do. And your girlfriend gave you encouragement, and thoughtful words, and affection. Which made you feel good as you were losing. Now let's see how you are helping her...You are assuming she doesn't want to lose weight, because she doesn't want to work out the ways that you think are fun. In one sentence you say she is a beautiful girl, but you won't touch her. So you hold back affection from her, which means she is going to comfort food eating, two if you are saying that the weight conversation is a sensitive subject for you two, that means you are worried more about her image than she is, that also doesn't make her feel positive about losing the weight. See what you have done is created a rebellion in your girl. Even if you don't want her being thicker, some man out there does, and if you won't touch her somebody else will; not just physically , but they will be able to connect with her emotionally, which is going to encourage her. They are the ones that's going to motivate her to lose the weight. And when she does, you are going to want to be her man again, and she will already have a new one. So treat her the way she treated you while you were losing your 10lbs.
2007-03-05 08:15:11 · answer #2 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be honest with her. She's bound to know how she looks. If you make a point to let her know that she is a turn off, it might jump start her exercise program. Some folks(men and women)get real comfortable, once a relationship has been going on for a while. They don't try as hard to keep themselves "healthy". Sounds like there's a bit of Lazy happening on her part...face it, you are not happy with the way she looks with the extra weight...tell her. If she gets mad, so be it. You could be doing her a favor.
2007-03-05 07:45:50 · answer #3 · answered by janice 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult thing to deal with because weight is probably one of the biggest things that women are sensitive about. I would be honest with her about how you are not as attracted to her as you used to be. You have to approach it gently though. If you ignore it, you might end up cheating on her, which it sounds to me like you love her a lot and love being with her. I had put on some weight and was told by my significant other that I wasn't attractive anymore. It hurt for a while, but in the end I realized that I needed to change because I wasn't happy with myself anymore either. I ended up losing over 80 lbs. I am so much happier now. She will be too. You need to be honest with her.
2007-03-05 07:45:40 · answer #4 · answered by madges_girl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To start off, is she marriage material? If so try to get her to go walking with you to say that both of you need some fresh air. Take her swimming or my best weight loser is going outside to jump on my trampoline, I still have one it is a great activity.
Eventually the wait will catch up to both of you, if you love her enough and stay with her that is great, she will have a baby and gain more weight, this will actually trigger her to say she has gained weight and this action should make her start to exercise and eat healthy. This is my advice.
2007-03-05 07:50:09 · answer #5 · answered by J C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I gained some weight cuz of some meds i was taking, advice do not do what my husband did..he stoped having sex with me so i asked why he said this cuz he does not want to touch a big fat pig with a fat behind , he said unless you loose the weight i am not touching you, well the next day i went and i filed for divorce..it was all from watter in my body he saw me and he is dying, when you ask her to do stuff in her mind she knows that you want her to loose weight, she want go out cuz our self esteem is suffering our cloths don't fit we fell like fillier take on a vacation and tell her how much you love her go were there is water so swim together.. then she will get the idea to start working out ,start cooking healthy food.just love her.
2007-03-05 07:54:59 · answer #6 · answered by Dove4ever 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LOL just committ suicide now and get it overwith.. telling a girl shes gained weight is the deadliest of the deadly sins..
She already knows shes fat.. but she dosent wanna hear it from you.. what she wants to hear from you is justification to be fat and thet she still looks OK (which is BS as we all know HA!)
2007-03-05 07:48:56 · answer #7 · answered by darchangel_3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've done all you can. Keep inviting her to come excercise with you, but this is one thing you should NOT bring up. You need to learn to love her no matter how much weight she gains, because there's really nothing you can do about it. Find reasons to be attracted to her besides her waistline.
2007-03-05 07:46:34 · answer #8 · answered by Robin the Brave 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should take her on more active dates. Hiking, cave walks, and such. Eat healthy and be active around her hopefully your habits will rub off on her.Slow and steady wins the race, right?
2007-03-05 07:49:08 · answer #9 · answered by Jennah C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
start buynig her health thing or you go on with helping her tell her oh i wanna eat healthy no can you join me i dont like to be alone..i dont know both of you could join a gym and make sure you tell her its 4 you but you would be gratefull if she join wit you
2007-03-05 07:42:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋