Well, first off I know you will think this is wrong but in my past relationships I don't trust that easily, I have been cheated on before. I came across his password and I periodically check his yahoo mail and I'M's...again I know this is wrong but I can't stop it. Last week I seen an offline IM this chick says "he will be gone to work soon and we can chat later" I didn't say anything to him about it because I have been waiting on something else. But I have not seen anyone IM's and have not yet seen and mail. We live together and we don't have a computer at home, he does not get any wierd calls at home. We also work together and can't have Yahoo IM's on our computers but you know some users do have the IM through Yahoo, this could be the only way he could be doing it, I log in through my cell phone and I checked, his is not accessible. So I stay logged on all day to his IM's because if he logs in it will bump me out but it hasn't so far. So what do you think?
2007-03-05 07:23:07 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also last night, I didn't mention to him about the IM I seen but I did ask him was he talking to anyone else via IM or Mail because I just had a wierd vibe, he said he wasn't and he wouldn't...should I believe him? Could it had been sent to the wrong person? Also I looked that name up in Yahpp but couldn't find it. Thanks.
2007-03-05 07:24:34 · update #1
Hmm, this is tough because you admit you have trust issues, but you also shouldn't be with someone who you contantly doubt.
My suggestion would be to be completely honest with him. Just say that you happen to see some IMs that sounded fishy, and you need him to be completely honest, even if that means you find out something that you don't want to hear.
After that, then you can decide what step to take next.
However, I would suggest maybe seeing a therapist. I know that trust issues don't seem very serious, but I suffered from them for a while, and therapy was very helpful.
But I also learned that you can't just play dumb all the time :) If you seriously think that something's going on with your boyfriend, say something. Relationships are all about communication.
2007-03-05 07:28:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It can cause conflict looking through someone else's e-mails and going through their messenger list, but if you are suspicious of what is going on then you need to know and you also need to drag it out of him because you deserve answers, after all he is not making it easier on you, if you instincts tell you that he is cheating on you then he probably if he refuses to talk about and pushes you away and tries to dodge the issue. But if he wants a relationship and wants to keep it he is going to have to be honest and upfront with you otherwise it might end in splitsville and that is not a good thing by any means. Just try to talk to him and see what he does, if he is sincere in his words and admits he is, or say sincerely that he is not cheating on then you know answers to your question and then you can decide what to do from there. It won't be easy but you and him can get through , just don't give up before you have to.
2007-03-05 15:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that it was just the one IM, but it might not have been what you think...at the same time, think that if you have a bad feeling then you should talk to him about it. If indeed he is talking to someone else, then it could be a good thing ig all it is is one IM and not some lady showing up at your house! In the end, it comes down to WHETHER YOU TRUST HIM OR NOT...If you dont know for sure then it can be unhealthy for you both. GOOD LUCK, my fingers are crossed for ya...
2007-03-05 15:29:09 · answer #3 · answered by cvjade 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could be chatting with someone online, but she could be in another country...or state...might just be that harmless chatting people do online sometimes. I would just come right out and ask him, but think about the consequences before you do, since you have basically been breaking an entering by going into his info without his permission, you don't want to look like some crazed, jealous girlfriend.
2007-03-05 15:28:59 · answer #4 · answered by mphsgurl79 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the he'll be gone to work soon message could've been about a problem a friend was having with their husband/boyfriend/father or any guy they were living with and they just didn't want him to see the conversation. It would be different if it said he'll be leaving soon so you can come over then. You should really quit snooping if you can't deal with what you find.
2007-03-05 15:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by Just D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the phone always gives it away. If he has his phone around like it is his baby and constantly texting or deleting caller ID that seems suspicious. It sounds like you don't trust him already. Could it be that you are just paranoid he is cheating? Does he go out without you or make up weird excuses to leave the house?
2007-03-05 15:29:15 · answer #6 · answered by Janielle M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok so you're paranoid. You asked him and he said no. Just accept it and stop your ridiculous prying. It's driving you crazy, and me too!
OR look at it this way: If your guy wants to cheat--let him! It means he's a loser who doesn't respect you, and he went ahead and let you know by cheating on you. It's clear as day by that point!
Just relax, stop playing detective, and spend more of your time trying to come up with romantic things to do with your sweetie instead.
2007-03-05 15:30:37 · answer #7 · answered by f8_smyled 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy are you looking for big trouble. First of all, you are a very untrustworthy piece of work. You have your nerve stalking him like that. If and when he finds out, he might get really pissed and dump you. You have issues that you need to resolve if you want to have a loving, trusting relationship.
2007-03-05 15:30:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Blast this song whenever he's around and see what kind of reaction you get!
By Carrie Underwood:
Before He Cheats
Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey...
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...
And he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seat...
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Right now, she's probably up singing some
white-trash version of Shania karoke..
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
and he's a thinking that he's gonna lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing 3 dollars worth of that bathroom Polo...
And he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seat,
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
I might saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats...
2007-03-05 20:54:55 · answer #9 · answered by Reserved 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to relax and lay off. You are the one with the problem.
You are just as dishonest as you fear he is being.
I would quit you and not speak to you again if I were him.
What does everyone else think? Is she the snake?
2007-03-05 15:27:20 · answer #10 · answered by grantwiscour 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋