Can someone give me some roommate advice before my roommate ends up getting cursed out?

Question

I live in a 3-bedroom shared apartment, & we all have our own lease. Last night, I went in my room, & she saw my clean clothes in a box (she didn't even give me a chance to fold them up yet because I had just washed them) & she said, "Look @ your room! You see all those clothes unfolded in that box? I don't like that."

I have Tourette's Syndrome, & it was very hard for me to bite my tongue, & I called her a stupid B. under my breath. I'm the only one who has to live in my room. I was going to fold the clothes, but she upset me so badly that I felt depressed & couldn't. Why can't people just mind their own business? & then, she said NO TRESSPASSING in her room, & so to get even with her, I went in her room, as she did to me, & I told her, "I don't like your room smelling like piss because of your cats! Now how about that one? You know it's against the rules & the lease to have cats!"

Answer 1

It is sad that you have Tourette's Syndrome but that has absolutely nothing to do with biting your tongue. It's not like you are aware of the words coming out of your mouth. Though it is funny that you tried to blame calling her a B under your breath as Tourettes. You could have gotten away with it if you had looked at her and screamed it, but not under you breath like that.

Is your problem her touching your laundry? If so, just sit down with her and explain to her that you don't appreciate her touching your clothing. If she is in a hurry to do her laundry, if she could knock on your door and let you know, you will be glad to get your laundry out of the washer and dryer for her.

If the problem is her coming in your room, the next time she comes into your room explain to her that you are respecting her No Tresspassing law. You would appreciate if she follows the same code of conduct.

If it's just about her attitude depressing you when she yells, that you just need to blow off. Act like it doesn't bother you. When she is like "I don't like your room" just breezily reply "Well I do, so I guess that works then!" or something like "Well its a relief that we don't share rooms then!" In a very upbeat way. You want to sound cheerful when she is sounding like the yelling B. It will completely take the wind out of her sails. If she keeps it up, something like "I appreciate you sharing your opinion of my space, and I really do value your courage to express it so heartily but I really have a busy day tomorrow. I have to finish my homework/ prepare for my day /make a few phone calls." Any excuse will do while you walk to the door and prepare to shut it. She'll get the hint and leave your room.

Don't try to get even with her. That just makes her actions look right because you are doing them too. You need to show her proper ettiquette and act like a true lady. She can act like a low-class ill-mannered female dog if she wants, but you don't have to tolerate listening to it.

If she continues to be so horrible and starts a war with you, just report her to the landlord. Be very apologetic but explain to them how you just don't feel comfortable living with someone who violates their lease like that. The landlord will kick her out but not you, since you reported her.