My father was in Jail for four years and then comes back into my life and wants to be a father figure. I feel as if I don't love my father because of all the things he's done so am I mean to say that? I live with my grandparents and he lives in our basement (he's my grandmother's son) and isn't working. So is this bad of me to say I have no feelings of love toward him?
2007-03-05 06:44:12 · 9 answers · asked by Brittany 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are absolutely entitled to your feelings....that said I would encourage you to not do anything you will regret later in life....get to know him better...go from there......best of luck honey.
2007-03-05 06:53:48 · answer #1 · answered by Erinyes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a hard thing to have a parent come back into your life after they have been gone for a really long time. It is hard to have feelings for them when they should have been a parent & not have gotten into trouble or just have up & left. It is not mean to feel this way. The thing now is, do you want to get to know him? He is there with you now, so if you don't have any feelings about him & would really like to have some, talk to him about things. It may be hard for him to get a job now since he's been in jail, but maybe you could encourage him to look for something small. If you do not wish to connect with him, then don't, but as a woman who lost her father when she was 16, I hope you do. I hope this will help you. Take care.
2007-03-05 15:42:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't know what type of relationship you had with your father before he went to jail, but you aren't helping yourself by feeling guilty about the ambivilance you feel. It's understandable to feel detached from someone who wasn't in your life for so long....but you must remember he is your father, and as long as he isn't slipping back into past behavior you should give him a chance. Just take your time and slowly let him back into your life. I'm sure he probably has issues he is dealing with as well. If you want to re-establish a connection with him but seem unable to do it on your own maybe family counseling is in order.
Good luck.
2007-03-05 14:54:56 · answer #3 · answered by answergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't make you mean, it makes you smart. Your father broke his trust with you when he went to jail for his misdeeds, and that is something he'd have to work really hard to gain back. From what you have said, he doesn't appear to be putting forth much effort to do so. You shouldn't feel bad for your attitude towards him. When he begins to show remorse, and to make actual efforts to being a stand-up kind of a guy, then maybe you might be apt to feel less apathetic towards him.
In the meantime, be happy that you had grandparents who were willing to take you in and care for you when he dropped the ball. :)
2007-03-05 14:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't involve being abused, Maybe you should give him a second chance. Nobody's perfect that I know of. Then again, maybe you have reasons to feel the way you do. You really didn't give enough info to make a just decision.
2007-03-05 14:55:11 · answer #5 · answered by Toeless_Joe_Jackson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it does not make you mean, but its always best in life to try and forgive people for the wrongs they've done to you. Have you considered this?
2007-03-05 14:54:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on what he did, he is your father and it wouldnt hurt to slowly get to know him again.
2007-03-05 14:50:04 · answer #7 · answered by eightieschick70 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it isn't bad no, he hasn't been there and love has to nurished to help it grow. so don't fret
2007-03-05 15:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by Krista 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope. he needs to earn good feelings from you, and I hope he does.
2007-03-08 18:13:50 · answer #9 · answered by Revelation S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋