she loves me, i've realised i don't want to be in a relationship with her, i don't want to hurt her, but i need to get out of this before it gets out of hand. help! (i haven't gone anywhere with her sexually, we're not officially going out or anything like that, and i haven't know her very long, but she feels that she really loves me)
2007-03-05 06:41:32 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I doubt she truly loves you. She may be infatuated with you. There really is no way around hurting her...rejection hurts. You can tell her gently, though, and it will help her with future relationships. You are doing the right thing. Good luck.
2007-03-13 07:23:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it well here. Don't tell her in a public place, save her some dignity! Ask if you can come over to her place for a few minutes. (Be sure you say "drop in" "for a few minutes" so she doesn't plan some romantic evening or do something special!!) Then sit in a chair across from her, look in her eyes and hold her fingertips (nothing too tight or close). Say something sincere like "Mary, I've been thinking about this for a few days now and need to make things between us really clear and honest. I like you a lot and I really like doing things with you. But, for now, I don't want to have a serious relationship with anyone. I'm not ready for a longterm commitment or even serious dating. I hope you understand. If you're cool with just hanging out once in awhile, then we can do that - but I want you to know that I'm not going to take it any further than that."
Then ask her if she understands and is okay with that plan. Then LEAVE. If you hang around too long, she'll cry or become emotional in front of you.
2007-03-05 06:51:00 · answer #2 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The easiest way to break up with anyone is to make sure their ego is nice and inflated before you drop them on it--then breaking up won't hurt so bad.
So, take her for a bite to eat, coffee, ice cream, a walk--whatever--and compliment her. Do it a lot, and look her in the eyes when you say these compliments. BUT, make sure you don't tap-dance around the fact that she's not the one for you. You don't have to give her details, you don't need to string her along, just tell her you don't feel the same way about her that she feels about you. If you've told her she's a beautiful girl that any guy would find attractive, then she won't feel so bad that YOU don't like her. See?
Good luck!
2007-03-05 06:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by f8_smyled 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is always the best.
It's going to hurt her, no matter how much you pad it, so just be honest.
Let her know that you are not seeking a long term relationship and you don't feel the same for her. Tell her that you care about her enough to not want her to get her heart broken worse further down the line.
Good luck.
2007-03-05 06:45:24 · answer #4 · answered by maat13101 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she loves you there is no way to do it gently. She is going to be hurt, and probably going to cry, the best thing you can do is be totally honest with her to her face. Let her know that she will move on and she would be better off without you.
2007-03-05 06:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be completely honest with her. Explain how you are feeling and make sure she realizes you're just not on the same page emotionally. Let HER pull the 'we can be friends' card, too (ie: stay mum about it). Personally, that's like a slap in the face when someone says that after a break-up. Good luck!
2007-03-05 06:45:12 · answer #6 · answered by Duckie314 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be straight-forward, honest, and non-compromising. Clearly end the relationship, and don't give her hope for the future. It's like pulling off the bandaid, do it quick and thoroughly, and it will be less painful in the long-run.
She probably doesn't really love you, because she probably doesn't know you well enough. Odds are she's in love with "love".
Good luck.
2007-03-05 06:46:56 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Vida 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be very honest with, it may hurt her feelings for a little while but in the long run she'll be thankful that you were man enough to be real with her............. don't forget the longer you wait the more it will hurt..... tell her it's not that there's something wrong with her.... it's just that i don't look at you that way, and I'm sorry if you feel like i lead you on and i hope you don't have hard feelings against me.
2007-03-05 06:47:38 · answer #8 · answered by jazzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well..no matter how hard u try to let someone down easy..it hurts the same wayy!!!! i think u need to b honest, and tell her that you want to be "friends" & that you'll always be there for her, no matter what...tell her that its "you" not "her" because sometimes us girls think we did something wrong..when actually its just the guy...but ill tell u this much, when youZ break-up, u will miss her....so just becarefuL with what you chose.hope it all works out! =)
2007-03-13 04:47:50 · answer #9 · answered by JB. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh Hun there is not way of getting out of this one but the best way to tell her is to tell the truth i know it sounds dumb but out of all the things you can say just simply say "i am so faltered that you think you love me but i just dont feel the same and I'm so not ready for a serious commitment like this
and i think you are great but i just am not getting that connection with you and i had a great time hanging with you cus your just a cool girl but i just didn't feel a spark between us I'm sorry "
2007-03-05 06:47:16 · answer #10 · answered by carmelfude2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋