Male Muslims, answer truthfully. Ok, in the Quran, it says, if your wife disobeys you, to beat her. Ok, now,?

Question

how many of you would actually beat your wife? Have you ever hit a woman? How do you interpret this verse, and if you do not beat your wife, why not? This is an honest question. I want to know your views on this. I have a hard time believing, every single muslim man beats the **** out of his wife.

Answer 1

I would never hit my wife even if she hit me and betrayed me. i've never hit any woman.

Islam doesn't say beat the sh-t out of your wife and stuff like that. she's not allowed to feel any pain when you hit her. but i would not do that, i would never hit any woman.

also it's a cultural thing. Atheists-christians-jews and everyone else might hit their wife. it depends on how those men were raised.

Answer 2

My husband is Muslim and we discussed this at great length before we married. The Qur'an is very specific as to when this is allowed, and exactly how it should be done. (That does not mean that he will ever touch me, and he has promised that he never would.) He respects and loves me like a true man should. And honestly, I live in a Muslim country and I have never witnessed any violence towards women here, by their husbands or anyone else. Also, my husband is a native here and he does not know of any man who has actually used this part of the Qur'an as an excuse to hurt his wife.

You are right to have a hard time believing that this is common in Islam because it really isn't. My first husband was a Christian and I can promise you that he never treated me as well as my new husband. That first marriage was full of abuse, neglect and disrespect. I experience none of that now.

Answer 3

Quran 4:34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

This is a full verse and it explains which type of women are asked to be beaten and please note , the beating should be very light, this is the only case where beating is allowed so ofcourse all wives are not disloyal so all wives do not deserve it.......and secondly its 21 century, things have changed alot and with all other peoples muslim males have also gotton broadminded, this beating is taken to be a disgrace for men diginity in muslim community.......so u would not find any educated male beating his wife. well there are some ignorant just like other religion who do that but again its cultural and they do this out of ignorance...and in those parts where it is practiced , even christains and other followers do the same.....so please relax.......muslims male do not beat their woman !

Peace !

Answer 4

Its not a believable thing that guys beat their wives.. in fact among Christans we find more abusive cases against women by their spouses. So whats written in Quran about it makes no sense that's why no normal wise Muslim male would follow it. But yes then there r always illitrates in every society.

Answer 5

The verse says, warn them, then seperate your beds, then if they go beyond all bounds, use physical force to prevent them from going out of Gods boundaries.

This is a reference point for men. It does not mean to beat the **** out of your wife.

Most men who read the verses about treatng your wife nicely know very well that they have no right to beat their wives.

But God is just, and because He is just, He knows that certain women can be very mistreating of their men.

In the event that the wife mistreats her man, her family or goes out of bounds, the men are given the right to warn their wives, then seperate their beds until the woman straightens up and if that doesnt work, to use physical force to stop her from doing herself and the family harm.

Given the situation in our modern day and age, and how women can veer from one extreme to another, and hurt their marriage, it sounds pretty reasonable for the leader of the house to do something about it.

Answer 6

I have never, and will never (insha Allah) lay a hand on my girlfriend.

The whole ayat says to first verbally tell them, then to sleep in a different bed with them, before beating them. I respect my girlfriend enough that I would do none of the above.

As-salaamu alaykum - Peace be upon you

Answer 7

this surah in quran , was really against women, believe me, i am muslim. and know lots of women suffer from it.

i know a woman that every time her husband beat her, after she cry, her husband show her quran and tell her look at this quran and god let me to beat u.

it is all favairite for men, and agianst women.

Answer 8

here is the interpertation of the verse:

Islam honors and respects women. In fact, abundant evidence in the Qur’an and Sunnah assert the rights of women in words and deeds, giving them rights that promote and preserve their human dignity in all aspects of life and worship, so it is not logical that such a humane religion would encourage physical or psychological abuse of any sort against Muslims of either gender and of any age, race, or social status, much less against women.

Marriage in Islam is a sacred bond. In Islam, the marriage of a man and a woman is not just a financial and physical arrangement of living together, but a sacred contract, a gift from Allah, to lead a happy, enjoyable life and continue the human race. The relationship between the spouses as described in the Qur’an reflects equal rights and responsibilities, and it should be based on tranquility, love, and mercy. It is the duty of both husband and wife to be a source of comfort and tranquility for each other.

Allah says what means:

*{And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.}* (Ar-Rum 30:21)

The Qur’an urges husbands to treat their wives with kindness. In the event of a family dispute, the Qur’an asks the husband to treat his wife kindly and not to overlook her positive aspects. Allah says what means:
*{Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.}* (An-Nisaa’ 4:19)

Islam is also against emotional abuse, not just physical abuse. Emotional abuse includes name calling, belittling, using threat of divorce as a weapon to manipulate the other, threatening with a real weapon (even with no intention of using it). Even frequent teasing, though it might start as fun, may become a type of abuse if it takes the form of sarcasm or demeaning remarks.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised us to control our anger, not to call each other names, not to use vulgar language, and not to point a weapon at another person. This advice was general for all, but it should be taken even more seriously within a marriage.

Considering these main points, let’s now take a closer look at the particular verse you mentioned.

This verse has been greatly misconceived. Many people take it to allow wife beating, but this is not a correct interpretation of the verse. Islam is a whole system, so you cannot isolate one point without considering all other related issues. When the setting is not taken into account, it distorts and falsifies the original meaning. We should also keep in mind that the original Arabic wording of the Qur’an is the only authentic source of meaning. If one relies on the translation alone, one is likely to misunderstand it.

The Arabic verb daraba is better understood as “hit” rather than “beat” (which means repeated hard hitting, usually with something). The one verse in the Qur’an that mentions this—Surah 4:34—has to be read in its entirety and understood in Arabic.

Islam actually prohibits men from hitting women, except in one very limited case when the wife is continuously rebellious and disobedient—not when she disobeys one request—and only as a last resort after all else fails. The husband should first admonish her, then abandon her bed if she continues to be rebellious, and only if those steps have failed then he may hit, not beat, her. The earliest commentators understood that the hitting was to be light enough not to leave a mark and should be done with nothing bigger than a miswak (tooth stick).

Also, Muslims are instructed to follow the exemplary model of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), who was known to have never hit his wives, servants, or even an animal. Consequently, a Muslim husband does not have the right to beat his wife!

What is the definition of “rebellious” and disobedient”?

In Islam, while men and women have equal rights, those rights are not always identical. Islam intends the spouses to be complementary, not in rivalry, so there is a clear set of rights and responsibilities for each within the contract that rules the relationship. Islam stresses the importance of respecting contracts, most of all the marriage contract, which is described in the Qur’an as “mithaqan ghalithan” (a firm pledge).

Furthermore, there is no tyranny in an Islamic marriage. We are all told to conduct our affairs by mutual consultation, as the Qur’an states what means:
*{And those who respond to their Lord and keep up prayer, and their rule is to take counsel among themselves, and who spend out of what We have given them.}* (As-Shura 42:38)

So in marriage, the man is named responsible for protecting, decision-making, and breadwinning; in return he has a right to have a quiet, orderly home and a loving wife to come home to who doesn’t make his life difficult with constant bad temper, nagging, or aggressive attitude.

The woman is named skilled homemaker, loving mother, and faithful counselor; in return she has a right to be provided for fully by a caring, faithful, protective husband who honors her and respects her individuality. Both should be equally supportive, loving, and caring. Both merit respect and support from their partner.

As in any other contract, signing means that both parties agree to the terms and intend to adhere to the rules. So failing to fulfill one’s responsibilities is a breach of the contract and merits limiting or temporarily withholding a corresponding right until that one gets back within the boundaries of the contract, or else the contract is nullified.

So, for example, a wife who repeatedly and intentionally refuses to consult her husband and does things that damage the well-being of the family, or one who fails to do what they had agreed upon after consultation for no logical reason other than rebellion, or one who intentionally does what her husband hates just to make him angry, is certainly a type of woman who should be disciplined in order to preserve the peace and harmony of the Muslim home and the family members within it. This is, of course, assuming that the husband is continuously fulfilling his responsibility towards his wife and family but is not getting his fair rights in return, and that all other peaceful methods of resolving the dispute have failed.

Answer 9

Have you ever read what Paul says in the bible about women?

Answer 10

You might find this link very helpful. It give a lot of real world opinions. Especially look for the "councilman's" answer.



http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Au4p6i.858pAofhxBJqI3jXsy6IX?qid=20070302113238AAMn1GD&show=7#profile-info-R181KxPBaa