Please Help!! Everyone please drop in an answer. I would appreciate as many answers as I can get.?

Question

Okay, I have a bit of a problem, and don’t quite know what to do....

After a break-up it’s been quite a while now, well --- almost a year,

And I can’t seem to be able to re-commit myself in any other relationship, I mean I've turned down a bunch of people, and I have been looking, it’s not like I have not!! But, I am constantly running away from it, I just can’t see myself in one again for some reason,

Yesterday, this guy I had a huge thing for sometime back, told me that he feels the same and also tried to make a move on me, and I just didn’t feel anything at all..... Is that strange?? What’s happening?
What do I do??

Please help, advice and opinions appreciated.

Thanks allot

Answer 1

How long were you in the relationship? I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I had been with this one guy for almost 7yrs. Not married. We just lived together for about 4 years. I really loved him a lot and all of a sudden he decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore. He met someone else behind my back and left me for her. It took me a really long time to start dating again. I don't know if it was quiet a year but close to it. After I met this guy (which is now my husband) I found myself judging him because of the horrible things my ex did. That was one of the reason I didn't want to start dating again because my ex scared me for life, because not only did he leave me for someone else, he told me that over the past 7yrs. he had cheated on me with 40 different women because he use to work away from home.

Did you break up becaue of something horrible that happened or was it a mutual agreement. If your ex is the one that wanted to break up and you were still wanting to be with him maybe that's why your having such a hard time letting go. It will get better. Promise. You just need some time even if it takes another year, it will get better. Give your heart some time to heal. Maybe you should just test the water a little bit. start going out at your own pace and make it clear that you don't want to move fast into a relationship if it looks like the person is moving too fast for you.

I hope this helps a little. Good Luck.

Answer 2

You have to know that you are worthy of being loved and that you must know how to love. The last relationship seems like it took a lot out of you but oyu have to remember that you are capable of being loved. Just let it happen and try not to judge the new man for the pain that other dudes caused you in the past. This is a new experience and it would not be fair to you or your new man if you only think about the bad that has been done to you. You will then start thinking the same things about the new guy all because of what someone else has done to you. If you guys like each other I say go for it and at least give it a shot. Just be honest with the new guy and tell him how you feel and as long as you are being honest then things should go just fine.
Repeat after me " I am worty of being loved, I am worty of being loved"

Good luck

Answer 3

You can get "burnt" by an unsuccessful relationship and it could make you more leary about the thought of getting involved again. Please know that each person is different and you can't judge all by the actions of one. That doesn't mean open your heart to blindness, it means learn from your experience and how to apply it to your next involvement. I think its wise to be cautious with your heart but don't let it completely stop you from having another relationship down the road. It's nothing to rush, being single isn't bad and you learn alot while being on the outside looking in. Maybe you just need this break to regroup and resort your priorities. Love will find YOU when the time is right. No need to rush it!!

Answer 4

I'm a guy pretty much in the same situation like you. However, I am not actively looking and basically have shut down in that category. My ex-girlfriend and I (we were together for 8 years) really raised the bar in life and love extremely high and I don't see me able to reach that with someone else. That's because I want to take it even higher.

My advice is to live your life for yourself. You are being discerning which is to your credit. I think what we are both doing is called decompression--it's the process of getting your bearings on what life looks like now and deciding what paths you want to go down that are new. It takes as long as it takes.

Answer 5

I think that your mind feels that you are ready,but your heart may not be quite ready. If anything, the best advice I can give is not to force yourself to re-commit. Everything good happens at its own pace.

I think you should give him a chance, but you need to still keep in mind that you dont want to get hurt. So maybe you should just try to keep the relationship as friends...

Answer 6

I'm thinking that it means you're just not ready to be in a committed relationship yet, how about just having fun, date a little bit, but don't pressure yourself... Your mind says you're ready, but you're heart says you're not. Take your time, make sure you know who you are and what you want before you get into another serious relationship, and in the meantime, just have fun!

Answer 7

ahem ahem..! serious problem out here..!
well guess you are too confused in ur own decisions that u are not able to understand ur ownself..1
ur heart and mind are fitin with each other coz if ur heart says yes then ur mind is against it...
u are not stable at the moment...
have u not been able to frgt him till date??
if that is so.....then this is something wich can't be helped coz this is related to love...!
love has no reason and so does it's problems..!
u should just sit and relax...stand infronta the mirror and talk to your ownself for a while and that surely will help u.....it helped me too!...!

Answer 8

I don't see a problem here. When you're ready to commit again, you will. You aren't going to feel that way toward everyone you meet, even if they are great guys.

Be patient...there's nothing wrong...when the person and time is right for you, you'll know it. ☺

Answer 9

Oh for God's sake, get hold of yourself and just move on with your life already. Who says you EVER have to 're-commit yourself' to another relationship? I never understand why women have to damn FEEL everything, all the time. What a waste.

Answer 10

Maybe you are just not ready yet. You need to do some things for yourself for a change and find yourself again. Not everyone NEEDS a guy to be happy. You don't need anybody!!