I am 26 years old and my boyfriend is 24,we met in Law school and have been together 1 year and 6 months, and live together. We're extremely happy. His cousin is getting married in July after meeting his finance on an internet dating site and will be married after knowing each other for less than a year and a half - hence, they are getting married sooner than we are (we're not even engaged!). Anyway, with all of this marriage talk I feel its being rubbed in my face that we're not engaged yet. I love him and know he's "the one" and he tells me the same, however he does not want to get married until he is stable in his job (he's in Film, so he'll always be freelance, so I don't know what the stability part is about, because its not like he has a real "9-5" job.) I never was one of those girls who got all crazy about weddings and never wanted the huge wedding and white dress -- however with being surrounded by "wedding talk" is making me crazy. Would it be wrong to propose to him?
2007-03-05 06:04:06 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Try to get him to do it, and to make it special shot for 07-07-07. Good Luck.....And perhaps get married on 08-08-08.
2007-03-05 06:15:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, because you would only be asking him because of the upcoming nuptials of his cousin. You have to do what is right for you and your relationship. What's right for the cousin and his gf may not be right for you. It seems like living together, at this point, is what's working for you. You know the saying "if it ain't broke don't fix it". However, some time down the line, when it's not a jealousy thing, if you want to move forward in your relationship you should TALK to your bf, ask him when he thinks he'll be ready to at least get engaged. If it's not what you want to hear, then you'll have to think about moving on. You can not force him into marriage and to do so because it's what everyone else is doing is wrong. Everyone else will not have to live your life and go through a divorce if it doesn't work out because you only got married to "keep up with the Joneses". Smarten up, and good luck.
2007-03-05 16:58:17 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy crap! We sound just alike! Same situation, except the people getting married are everyone around us. We've been together longer than anyone and aren't even engaged! All I'm going to say is....DO NOT ASK HIM! Please don't! The guys is supposed to ask the girl! I've thought about it to, but I will never do that! It will be so much more special when he does ask you! My b/f said the same thing to me....."I don't wanna get married until I am stable and have some things paid off" He now has a stable (GREAT) job and we're working on paying things off. I know it's only a matter of time, so I'm trying to be patient! Just be patient! It will come! P.S......It will be 10 times better and more meaningful then their wedding! lol! : ) Good Luck!!
2007-03-05 14:10:33 · answer #3 · answered by ParisLynn16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that. I dated my now husband for 3 years and got tired of waiting around for things to be "JUST RIGHT" in his life. So I asked him. He said yes and now we have been married for 7 years. But I have always hated the fact that I missed out on getting a proposal. You have only been together a year and a half. Let him know that your ready but don't pressure him. This is a decision that takes time to perfect. With me I found out that my husband had already bought a ring and had been carrying it in his pocket for 2 weeks waiting for the right moment. And I spoiled that for him as well. Good Luck.
2007-03-05 14:14:29 · answer #4 · answered by Kimmie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if all this wedding talk has made you feel like you wanted to get married...and thats the only thing that has made you truly think about marrige with this guy then i think you should wait! wait till after those other people are already married and then choose from there! i think the guy should ask...so if you wait for that then he will ask you when he is ready! that "stable job" thing is a lame excuse i know but maybe he is just not ready...
Try talking to him about it..that might lighten up the situation a little more!
2007-03-05 14:11:14 · answer #5 · answered by hottiewatchout 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it wouldn't be wrong but just don't rush into it.alot of young couples feel the romance right away and feel like they could spend the rest of their lives together and then like 3 years later the sparks gone and they can't hold it together anymore.you say you've been with this guy for under 2 years? I'd think about it and give the relationship more time before you consider such a huge move.don't let pressure and talk get to you..whats right for some might not be right for you.so take your time and casually bring up a conversation about the future to your guy...see where it goes..
2007-03-05 14:10:48 · answer #6 · answered by emmabugg 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it would be "wrong" to propose to him, however, you shouldn't propose simply because you feel left behind. You are both still young and shouldn't feel rushed into anything, especially such a big decision as getting married.
Have you discussed how you're feeling with him? Obviously you have mentioned that you each see a future with the other, but have you told him that all the wedding talk is making you crazy? I think you should discuss it with him...and if you both think you're ready then go for it!
2007-03-05 14:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by jwhite82 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your situation, I wouldn't. You're obviously thinking about it for the wrong reasons, you've said it yourself. It's all about marriage being "rubbed in your face." That's a horrible reason to get married! Enjoy your relationship and enjoy the cousin's wedding, and let things happen when the time is right.
2007-03-06 01:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by calliope320 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't propose because you feel pressured. Do it because you feel an intense love for this person and want to be with them for the rest of your life. People who are fixated on weddings are often lacking things in their own lives. I have noticed this with different women I've met who read bridal magazines. Marriage is not the only option, either. You can be with someone and hold off on marriage.
2007-03-05 14:07:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him do the proposing. He is being a responsible man by waiting until his career is established before thinking about marriage. The only thing I can see that you are doing wrong is living with him. You are giving it all up for free and are not giving him the incentive to ask you to be his wife.
Good luck!
2007-03-05 14:16:08 · answer #10 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wanted to marry you, he'd ask you. He hasn't asked, so I'd assume he's not interested in getting married. He told you he'd consider marriage when his career is stable. Why would you pressure him to do something he's already told you he isn't ready to do? As long as you live together and pretend to live as a married couple, I can't imagine him wanting to make it legal. Sorry.
2007-03-05 14:17:53 · answer #11 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋