Here's the problem:
I asked one of my best friends to be my maid of honor, because my sister and I had be estranged for about 18 months. Now my sister and I are talking again but my sister has had a problem with causing huge fights and not talking to the family for months and even 1 1/2 years later. Right now I want my sister as my maid of honor, but I don't want to end up taking the role away from my friend. I also recently found out that my friend has been hanging with "THE WRONG CROWD"-- doing all kinds of drugs and drinking HUGE amounts!!! She's spending all her extra money on drugs...(she knows I don't approve so when she's in her binge she doesn't call or come to the house) and if she's my maid then I'll be worried that her addictions will hinder her in her responsiblities. I don't know what to do.......PLEASE HELP!!!
2007-03-05 06:02:05 · 9 answers · asked by colorfulswanson 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Wow, this is a tough one. I'm sorry you are having this problem. You need to remember that it is your special day, so do what you feel is right. Having your sister be a part of the wedding may be the ticket to turn things around for her and the family. I think you should also discuss this with you fiance. I'm not saying let him make the decision but just talk to him and get his insights. Good Luck and congratulations.
2007-03-05 06:07:59 · answer #1 · answered by Tammy A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a long talk with your friend and explain that her current activities are causing you great concern and that you won't be able to continue to have her as your maid of honor if she continues this way, maybe she will straighten up. If not, set a date that you will speak again. If she hasn't cleaned up her act, tell her she will be an invited guest, but not the maid of honor. The way it sounds you may not even want your sister to be your maid. If that is going to cause a lot of turmoil in the family and stress for you on the day that is supposed to be so special, you should really evaluate it. Don't pick your sister just because she's your sister, she should have to earn it and deserve it. Your maid of honor is supposed to be someone very special to you who will support you in your marriage and be there for you and has been there in the past. It is a very special spot. Before picking your sister, talk to a trusted adult female in your life, (aunt, neighbor, friend's mother) and feel them out. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-05 06:13:16 · answer #2 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend that she needs help. You are not only thinking about your wedding but also her best interest. Let her know that you believe she is unable to perform her maid duties and that you are giving the role to your sister. End of discussion. Its your wedding and you can do what you want.
And for the bridal party. Invite all your close relatives and close friends that will be attending the wedding. Your sister needs to realize that this is your day and put aside all her differences with the family for you.
Congratulations...hope all goes well.
2007-03-05 06:10:37 · answer #3 · answered by ProudMama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to take the role away from your friend it should be because of her actions not because your sister is suddenly in the picture, that would be rude. If it turns out that they both will be able and responsible enough to handle it, then make it a dual-maid of honor, have two. That way they can share the responsibility.
2007-03-05 06:06:39 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know what to do---she needs your sympathy but you need to be firm and cut her out of the wedding. Your sister should be maid of honor--you don't want to take the chance of your bestfriend not showing up or showing up 1/2 crazed because she had a binge crave in the middle of the night before your wedding do you. Please don't make your own wedding a disaster. Your friend needs in hospital care.
2007-03-05 06:10:49 · answer #5 · answered by krazyinchicago 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had 2 maid of honors. This way you can divide up tasks how you see fit. Maid of honor #1 did lots of behind the scenes stuff for me, while MOH 2 was the one to do the speech/toast :)
2007-03-05 06:05:12 · answer #6 · answered by leos_mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you ask someone to be your maid of honor when you are aware they may well not honor the committment?
Ask your sister to do it as well...no reason ya can't have 2 maids-of-honor if you want (it's YOUR wedding) and if one of 'em doesn't show, you're still good-to-go.
2007-03-05 06:05:33 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its your wedding...you get to pick who you want.if your sister is like that then maybe you should pick your friend. it might hurt your sister or you but its for the best and your wedding should be a happy time and should go as smoothly as possible.
2007-03-05 06:07:12 · answer #8 · answered by emmabugg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her.. you want your sister and give her a bridesmaid position or tell her to clean up her act and you may thing of including her again
2007-03-05 06:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋