How to find the balance between legalism and grace based faith?

Question

How do you know what biblical laws to follow and which ones not to? At my boyfriend's church they teach that almost everything is a sin from using candles to watching television, wearing makeup or jewelry, etc. It feels so suffocating to feel judged and unable to live up to impossible standards. However, I have also been to churches that teach that all you need is the saving grace of Christ, and then you can go do as you please, committing murder and lying and still go to heaven. How does a born again Christian know where to draw the line from following petty rules to the other extreme of anything goes?

Answer 1

This is such a deep question and I'm going to try not to write you a novel but...here goes.

The Law (of Moses) was the standard until the day of Christ. God saw that the Law was basically how you stated it to be. So The Lord sent a Savior to bring Grace and abolish the Law. Read Galatians Chapter 3 in it's entirety. It shows you that The Law was a guide for us until the day of Christ. Christ has come and given you Grace. Not the Grace that allows you to continue sinning willfully and inherit His kingdom. That's contradictory to Christ's entire personality! To be a "Christian" means to be Of Christ...the same way I'm a Michiganian...thus I'm of or From Michigan and live IN Michigan. If you're not Living IN Christ...you're NO ONE's Christian! Christ was no murder or adulter, or liar, or anything else for that matter. So if someone does as they please and feel that they're still entitled to the Kingdom they're sadly mistaken and Hell Bound! However, there's no sin in watching TV it's about WHAT you watch and what you give access to your soul.

So...How do you find the Balance? Understand that you are not under the Law. However some of God's precepts PRE-date the Law. Murder, Lust, Stealing, Lying...all of these things were sin before the Law was stated. Thus they still apply to what is considered living Holy. The tradition of make-up, open toed shoes, never cutting your hair, all of those things are trivial and tradition. If you find it in the Bible I'll work with it...I've NEVER read ANYWHERE that I can't wear open toed shoes or burn candles. You have to get enough WORD in you for yourself so that YOU know what's WORD and what's someone's opinion. Be in Prayer that the Lord reveal the Church home you would benefit from the most and be of most help. Don't settle. God Bless you and I hope and Pray that this helped.

Answer 2

When Jesus died on the cross, He finished the laws of the Jewish Scriptures, since no one could follow them all anyway. He instituted a New Covenant, or Testament which has no laws brought forward except 9 of the 10 commandments. ( The one about keeping the Sabbath was not brought over). Grace DOESN'T COVER all future sins, which is called "backsliding". So, you can't go off murdering and robbing banks and still go to heaven without repenting again, and going through confessing your sins, etc. After you become a Christian you are required to live like a Christian, not a sinner. Love everyone seems to be the great law now. I'm sure God doesn't care if you wear jewelry or not, if you know what I mean. Legalism means you are trying to earn your salvation by keeping impossible laws, which is not logical, as Jesus paid your price to God for your sins. You, therefore are not required to keep the man-made religious laws for salvation.

Answer 3

Common sense helps. Legalism is a cancer in the body of Christ. It stifles grace and makes the Christian walk a chore, a burden. The Catholic Church is not the answer either, been there, done that, they are as legalistic as they come. Instead, allow the Spirit to guide your conscience. Romans 14 is a good guide. In essence, if your conscience bothers you about something, and it is controlled by the Spirit, it is sin to you. There are obvious sins which are spelled out in the New Testament (murder, lying, stealing, etc) but there are some things that may be sin to you, but not to another. If you do anything that bothers your conscience, don't do it, you are not doing it in faith. Yet, if that same thing does not bother the conscience of another, it is not your job to condemn them for it.

Answer 4

I think Romans 7 is the most convincing place for uncertain Christians to start reading. Paul blatently tells us we are not under the Mosaic Law -- we are under grace and the Law of Messiah. Legalism is simply man's way of attaining righteousness from following the law. And since no man can be justified by his works (OR by following the law), legalists will always miss the mark.

Although all of the gospels contain the New Covenant laws, the Gospel of Matthew contains the most. Read the "Sermon on the Mount," which contains all of Jesus' laws; for the most part, Paul's epistles expound on Jesus' laws, rather than give new ones. However, the entry of Gentiles into the Kingdom is one notable exception.

Answer 5

Get into the Word for yourself and let the Holy Spirit guide you into all Truth. Paul said that all things are lawful to the Christian but not all things are "convenient" - all things are "allowed" but I will not be brought under the power of anything. Some things gender toward God and some away from God, but whatever you allow in your life do so in faith and don't use it to make another fall at your liberty (charity). That is why Paul wrote, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Once you are saved there are alot of choices to make in walking out that salvation. God Bless as you serve Him.

Answer 6

I would like to go to see the church that says go ahead and commit murder. Most churches advocate that you need to be a good person as part of having Christ in your life. If the church wants to control the minutiae of your life it is because the pastor is a control-freak and the congregation doesn't want to have any ambiguity about the decisions they make in their lives. Yuck.

Answer 7

1) Ignore any rule made up by people--if it isn't in the Bible, treat it as a suggestion.

2) Jesus taught that if your heart is right, you'll follow the rules correctly. Even that won't stop snotty pharasies from looking down their nose at you, but that's their problem, not yours.

3) Work as if it is all up to you, but understand that it is God's grace that saves you, not the things you do. The good you do comes from aligning yourself with God, it does not cause you to be aligned with God.

Answer 8

There are man made laws, Natural Laws and God's Commandments. The 10 Commandments trump all laws.

Answer 9

The truth shall set you free. You are describing a comfortable situation to those that are in it. These are the types that crucified Jesus.

You know when you are sinning. Use your freedom and rely on God, not man made rules. Love the Lord your God with all you are, and love your neighbour - that will lead you rightly.

Answer 10

Study to understand the new covenant that God has made with His children. I think you will find that keeping God's laws becomes the natural fruit of your relationship with Him. Not arbitrarily picking which laws to keep and which not to keep and trying to please God through your own efforts.

Heb 8:10
"For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the LORD: I will put My laws in their mind and write them on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people.