Web detectives...i found out what town my father is living in and i need to locate him...please help me!?
k...heres the deal...my father took off when i was a baby..we always knew he was in florida, and now that my mom is all over the news "magically" he comes out of the woodwork to talk to the papers(article below)... then he can't even admit that he's my father...i have struggled with abandanment and everything else due to him, and thought that i had done well in therapy, but now i am completely unraveling...due to the fact that my mom is all over the news, i absolutly cannot contact the newspaper, not that i even think those vultures would help me...i know that theres public records and all that, that i can look into, but i dont even know where to begin...please help me, i feel like i'm crumbling to pieces with whats going on with my mom, and now that my dad is back on my mind, i need to find him. thanks in advance.
'S&M' MARRIAGE FROM HELL
'DOMINATRIX'S' EX ADMITS HE WAS ABUSIVE DRUNK
By JENNIFER FERMINO and LORENA MONGELLI
BUSINESS IN A BIND: Sandra Chemero (above) ran an S&M brothel in this Bedford mansion, cops say. Her ex says she wasn't into kinky stuff during their marriage.
March 5, 2007 -- Years before she allegedly began using whips and chains on eager clients of her S&M business, kinky Westchester mansion mistress Sandra Chemero endured the real thing in five stormy years of wedlock, her ex-husband admitted yesterday.
Christopher Chemero, 52, owned up to being "somewhat abusive" during their marriage, which lasted from 1979 to 1984.
He was nonetheless shocked to learn of his ex's arrest on a prostitution charge and her efforts to earn a living off S&M sex games, which, he insisted, played no role in their marriage.
"I wasn't into that . . I'm really surprised to hear that about Sandy," Christopher Chemero told The Post at his home in Daytona Beach, Fla.
The marriage was the first for both. Sandra was 18 and Christopher was 24.
Christopher, who is now single, said he was an alcohol abuser when he wed, although she "wasn't much of a drinker."
He said he gave up drinking long ago.
He said he hasn't heard from his ex in more than 20 years and, "I really don't know what's going on in her life."
"It was a vicious breakup," Christopher said.
Although divorce records say the couple had two children, "I'm not sure one of them is mine," he said.
"I could never say for sure if she cheated on me."
Christopher Chemero said he lives off disability payments, and is waiting for heart bypass surgery.
"The men in my family don't live very long," he said.
Meanwhile, Bedford cops pressed ahead with their investigation yesterday as a woman who used Sandra Chemero's rented house as a place to sell makeup and clothing to cross-dressing men said the accused madam had a female partner in the S&M business several months ago.
After an argument with Sandra, the other woman moved out of the house in September, the makeup artist said.
Asked if a second woman was involved, Bedford Police Lt. Robert Mazurak replied: "I'm not going to say no, but I don't want to mislead you . . . It's under investigation."
Sandra Chemero, 46, is the only person charged thus far, and police have said that they believed she was working alone.
The makeup artist also said she believed Sandra had a boyfriend from Manhattan who worked on Wall Street. But that could not be immediately confirmed.
A number of Westchester County men are named in Sandra Chemero's records, Mazurak said.
"We are continuing to investigate. Where it's going to end, I don't know," he said.
Sandra Chemero, who is free on bail, was nowhere to be found yesterday.
She's due in Bedford town court next week to answer misdemeanor charges of prostitution and possession of a stun gun.
The rabbinical school that owns the $3 million home has evicted Sandra under a clause in her lease barring illegal activity.
Her Web site advertised the "century-old stately manner" as "The Sovereign Estate," describing it as a "female-led household, headed by an elegant, attractive dominant woman."
Additional reporting by Patrick White and Bill Sanderson
jennifer.fermino@nypost.com
2007-03-05 05:47:33 · 6 answers · asked by stephaniech24 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
if your dad was born on July 12 1955, i have a couple of old addresses and phone numbers for him.
i couldn't find him in daytona beach and i looked at the county records but didnt see his name listed. i will search some more when i get home and update this message.
"but now i am completely unraveling"
i don't want to sound mean, but why are you unraveling?
yes, i understand that this is all a bit embarassing but you have to really look at the bright side of all this.
the bright side is that your mom was running the place and not one of the clients. believe me when i say that your humiliation pales next to the humiliation the children of the cross-dressing make-up wearing men who were paying top dollar to get their tuchas beat by your mom.
from the looks of it, your mom ran a very profitable business. ok, so it was an illegal business but it's only a couple of misdemeanor charges. shes not going to be put on a chain gang or anything.
i'll do what i can to help you find your dad, but are you really sure you want to talk with him? he sounds like a jerk and it will probably do you more harm than good.
2007-03-05 06:34:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Honey, finding your dad is not magically going to make everything all right - it won't fix the hole in your heart.
Your world has been turned upside down, and you need to seek therapy and counseling to deal with it and get throught this.
I would advise against trying to meet your dad right now, because I doubt it would be a positive experience. From the information above, he may not even be your real father, or he may believe that is; he has been abusive and an alcoholic in the past; with his medical condition, he may have too much on his plate right now to handle repairing a relationship with a long-lost child; or he may simply be after what money he can gain from the notoriety so he can pay his debts. None of this bodes well for a healthy connection between the two of you. I strongly advise you to find a therapist instead, and hold off on contacting your father.
While I agree that the press can be vultures and are feeding off your family's shame, they can still be helpful. The authors of the article certainly have some contact information for your father, so they are your best lead right now - you could pretend to be a reporter for a school paper or an intern from an out-of-town paper who would like to interview him, and ask them for his contact information, or have them pass a message along to him. Or ask your mother - she must have kept some information after the divorce, and either her or her lawyer would have a forwarding address for him. But again, I really don't think this man is what you need in your life right now.
2007-03-05 06:10:39 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't think it's a good idea unless he will take you out of this mess but will he put you in another? If he's abusive you really don't want to get into that. There has to be records, go to a courthouse or look in the white pages on the internet. My heart goes out to you and I wish you the best!
2007-03-05 06:05:15 · answer #3 · answered by Mercadies2000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie, that's tough! I'm sorry you have to go through this! It's a shame that your father is not a part of your life, especially now that he knows his child(ren) must need him. If his phone number is listed, you can find it, and very likely address, on Anywho.com. If not, get in touch with child protective services. They have more resources and a better chance at finding him. Good luck. Hang in there. This stage in your life is temporary. It'll get better.
2007-03-05 05:59:24 · answer #4 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your desire to find your biological father is normal, but what's more important is to find your heavenly Father. He's the one Who really loves you and has promised to never leave you! He's the only man you may ever be able to trust! Read Matt. 28:20 and pray to Him. He's anxious to hear from you.... really!
2007-03-05 05:56:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dunno how old you are sweetheart but you need to get the hell away from your family. You are already all messed up from your dad and now the stories you'll have of your mom are dominatrix related?! Seriously, forget your dad, don't admit to being your mom's daughter and try to get on your own feet :(
2007-03-05 05:54:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋