My boyfriend of 1 yr says he's in love, is kind/thoughtful and has even talked about moving in with me. But he still fantasizes about other girls and looks at pics online when I'm not around. Is this normal? Can he honestly be in love or am I being stupid?
2007-03-05 05:38:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I found out b/c a website popped up in the url bar on his comp and I asked.
He doesn't do it when I'm there
2007-03-05 05:47:19 · update #1
He might be in love, but he's immature. He still values visual gratification over a real, mature relationship. Tell him that his fantasizing and ogling other girls makes you uncomfortable, and that you don't feel right moving in with him until he stops. To sweeten the deal, offer to take some suggestive pictures of yourself (in a bikini, in lingerie, etc) so he can look at those when you're not around, instead of looking at supermodels.
It's not necessarily a terrible thing - in college, my best friend's boyfriend had calendars and screensavers of bikini-clad models and similar semi-pornagraphic images. But he eventually grew out of it, and they're now happily married and he adores her. But yeah, maybe your bf needs a nudge to grow up.
2007-03-05 05:48:33 · answer #1 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all know guys are visual. Girls can't even relate to this, but guys have a visual roledex of sexual images that pop up in their head with or without their wanting it too. This goes for Christian/good guys too... the only difference is the Christian/good guy, will try harder to avoid these images by trying harder not to look at them. They have to make a conscious choice though because everthing in them screams LOOK! The point is, they CAN make that choice and lots of really good guys DO make that choice.
If he is young, then he could possibly mature and grow out of it. But if he is an adult and mature, then it may be a habit for him and he could be addicted. Either way, tell him how you feel about it and that it is not acceptable to you (Because many good guys do not purposely do that) ; and that you cannot move in unless he stops; that if feels disrespectful to you. If you don't like it now then you really won't like it down the road. If he can't then you have to ask yourself can you honestly live with it?
2007-03-05 05:55:06 · answer #2 · answered by Hope 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men just do this and it doesn't mean anything. I'm curious, how did you find out what he does when you're not around? If you were sneaking and found out, there are probably some insecurities there that need to be dealt with. If he says he loves you and has never given you any reason to believe that he has cheated on you, then the fantasies are just that. Harmless fantasies that we all have. That doesn't mean he would act on them.
2007-03-05 05:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by Mel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you expect...HE'S A GUY! Get worried if he dose'nt do that. All (real) guys fantasize about other women. It's perfectly natural and is simply one of the differences between men and women. Then again when was the last time you looked a a guys butt and thought to yourself....HMMMMMM!
2007-03-05 06:07:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men fantasize about other women and most look at pictures of them on the Net. This is perfectly normal guy behaviour; nothing to be worried about.
2007-03-05 05:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, well I don't know how you do in the looks department but just to let you know there is always going to be a better looking woman out there. So if you think that by him looking at other women is wrong, think about it, don't women like looking at other men. As long as it doesn't get to the point where it is effecting your relationship there's no harm in it.
2007-03-05 05:43:22 · answer #6 · answered by Lexy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Looking at p*** pics ? Then it might be Ok! All boys do that at anytime! However if he's seeing other girls while in relationship with you then I must say that he's not serious at all to u and to the other girls. Let's say--> talk to him and solve thing out face to face
2007-03-05 05:45:40 · answer #7 · answered by Betty K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dudes will look but it depends on what and how often and if they do it in front of you, it thats the case then he doesn't respect you.and he may think he is in love,
2007-03-05 05:42:42 · answer #8 · answered by blue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably does love you, but he is immature & unless you trust him move on. if he is just looking & your comfortable with that then no problem, right?? i think it must bother you or you wouldn't be asking this question. if you cant trust then you have no relationship!
2007-03-05 05:46:05 · answer #9 · answered by tire chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has boy hormons...dont worry....u gatta trust him..just sit down and talk
2007-03-05 05:42:15 · answer #10 · answered by Martariesa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋