How do I tell my girlfrind I want to break up???

Question

I have been going out with my girlfrind for a little over 3 months. Atfirst, I really liked her, but in the last while, our differences have made me reconsider whether I really want to continue being with her. The fact that I am a Catholic and she sees herself as an aethiest, is one of the things that keeps bugging me. Also, not that i have anything against here having fun, but she does like to get drunk pretty regularly, and because we live about 2.5 hours from each other, I sometimes wonder what she's doing. Although she really loves me to death, she is one of those girls that always wants sex, and I just can't help wondering If she ever does stuff with other guys when i'm not there. Because of these things, I have decided I want to break up. I'm just afraid of really hurting her, because she is still so loving towards me (always wants me to phone her, likes to give me gifts, makes future plans with us, etc.) What do i do? I want to move on without breaking her heart.

Answer 1

Well, if you really don't want to break her heart, be straight with her right away, and in the future, WAIT to have sex with a girl until you have a better idea of the potential of the relationship (although I have to say, your differences in religious beliefs is a major red flag that you must have known about for some time). Sex in a new relationship complicates things and does tend to make a break up hurt more.

Answer 2

So...because she wants to have sex with a boy she "loves to death" you're saying she must be some sort of s l u t? It sounds to me like you have some insecurity problems and you're blaming them on her. And funny that sex is even an issue, since you're such a Catholic and aren't supposed to be having sex anyway. Personally, I'm thinking that you're the one who has cheated and your guilt makes you suspicious of her, but whatever.

Stop thinking that you get to dump her AND still be the good guy. It doesn't work like that. Just tell her that you really appreciate the time and attention that she's given you, but that you don't think this should continue, because you've decided that your differences are too great. Be kind but firm and don't agree to have sex one last time, or anything like that. It's only been 3 months, so you don't have to make a big deal of it. If you have things that belong to her, return them all when you break up with her, and write off anything of yours that she may have, so she doesn't have to see you again. And don't say the stupid "I want to be friends" thing. She doesn't want to be your friend. She wanted to be your girlfriend. If you don't want that, just move on cleanly.

Since you live so far away from each other, I would think the kindest thing would be to do it over the phone, so she isn't stuck in a car with you after wards or driving herself home after getting dumped. Good luck, I guess. Something tells me she's getting the better end of this break up.

Answer 3

She probably has the same relationship with other guys so don't worry about upsetting her. Staying with someone because you don't want to hurt them wastes both of your time.

It sounds like she is socialable enough to find a new guy if she already doesn't have another on the side- you may actually be the one on the side.

Just give her the above reasons and break up. Don't buy the hogwash about changing if she tries to hold onto the relationship. She may put on a facade and try and hide some things from you, but in the long run she won't change.

Answer 4

Tell her that you both need to reconsider your relationship and that you think that maybe your differences in beliefs are a bit too much for you right now. Tell her that her drinking worries you and that you want her to be okay, but the pressure of always having to worry is a lot for you right now. Make sure she knows that you don't want to cut ties, but that you need to think and have her support in this. If she really loves you, she may be kind of upset, but she should be able to give you at least a little time and if she can't, then that's a tell-tale sign that something has been wrong. If she really wants to talk about, share your deeper concerns with her. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

first of all dont break up with her over the phone or on the internet because i no as a girl that is very pathetic. Secondly talk to her one on one and maybe bring up things that bother u like the long distance relationship of 2.5 hours or that she gets drunk and stuff and say that ur not completly ready for this change. Maybe she will get the hint, its going to be hard but it might be worth it in the end. Hope I helped!

Answer 6

Here are the facts. You are Catholic, she believes there is no God. She drinks regularly-or, gets drunk regularly-and you rarely do. You live over 2 1/2 hours away and, on top of that, she always thinking of sex-wanting it, always needing to have it.
You two are very different. you two need to move on. Tell her that not only your religious differences are keeping you apart but the time difference as well. That maybe she can find some one better for her.

Answer 7

There is no easy way to say it's not working for me. No matter how you do it or what you say it will hurt. Because you have God in your life...I believe He will help you to do the right thing. It is not your fault it doesn't work for you. You may both be to young to deal with the issues in her life that make you want to move on. You didn't make her the way she is. But you do decide what you do with your life...only you know if this is the one God has chosen for you...and trust me if she is...God will bring you back together when the time is right. Be gentle and kind...be firm and don't waver in your decision should she cry. Like I said it hurts know matter how you do it, she will only see it as rejection...but that is her issue to deal with and maybe, if what she wants is a relationship, she will work on herself to be a better partner to the next guy in her life. Be honest...don't avoid the truth when you tell her and don't be mean about it....do it with great love and wish her well. Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 8

Dude, you are human....it wouldn't be if you did not feel some sort of compassion towards her. However, you also need to look into you life and see what it is that you want and need. If you are having this many concerns about her beliefs, her drinking, and how faithful she really is, then those feelings are just going to get deeper and tougher to ignore. I have been with someone who I love for about a year now. Her beliefs are similar to mine, doesn't drink that much at all, and I have no questions about her faithfulness to me. Actually, what I cannot understand is why would want to stay with her.

Just be honest and let her down easy, but be firm and don't vasilate or waver....once you make up your mind, stick with it, and good luck

Answer 9

Don't worry about her heart because these days hearts are made of unbreakable material and people are more practical than ever before. From your statement it's very clear that this relationship has no future and I'm sure that she too is aware of so it's only a formality. Be open and honest about your feelings and let her know. Sooner the better.

Answer 10

Well, I am in the old school that honesty is the best policy. You can tell someone the basics in a way that isn't hurtful. And hopefully, they will gain something somewhere down the line so they address the issues and make beneficial changes. Heartbreak is just part of the package. She seems clingy, so she probably doesn't have a huge self-esteem.