she was sexually abuse 2 times by a family friend and its been 9 years but she never told her parents and she scared what should i do?
2007-03-05 05:06:18 · 12 answers · asked by airplanes 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would encouage your friend to go talk to someone who can legally help her to get the help she needs, and to put the pervert away! I understand the fear that she's going through, but she needs to do this for herself. She might not be safe from this perv, even though several years have elapsed. And who knows how many more kids he hasn't molested over the years. People like this are never cured of their abusive behavior, and will repeat again and again. Prison is the only way to stop them from hurting another victim. Tell her you'll go with her and give her your support as she tells her story. And, just in case the "friend" is you, find someone you trust who will go with you to tell your story. More people need to step up and turn these perv's in. <*)))><
2007-03-05 05:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by Sandylynn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she were a child, I'd tell you to report it to the authorities but now, she is of an age where she will have to work through this herself. I would suggest that she get therapy so she can get the skills needed to confront her abuser. She may choose not to do that but she needs to know that since she remembers the abuse it is her resposibility to make sure this can't happen again to another little girl. That usually involves making the rest of the family unit aware of what happened to her so that person is not allowed around children. As to what you can do to help, you can support her as she makes her decisions as to how to deal with this but it is not your job to jump ahead of what she is ready to do unless you can see that other children are in danger. Most perpetrators molest many kids so take that into consideration as you help her decide. I have been in her shoes and it took a lot of years of therapy to get past it. She will be in my prayers. Good Luck and God Bless
2007-03-05 13:17:08 · answer #2 · answered by moonrose777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She absolutely HAS to tell her parents. Why doesn't she want to? She is still afraid of something or she would tell them. They NEED to know because they are still trusting this person, and still think it is a friend. They need to know the truth about their friend, because their daughter means more to them than that friend does. Tell her that she is allowing her parents to still believe this is a friend of theirs, when in reality, he abused their trust and is laughing at how blind they have been to what he is REALLY like. She MUST tell, because he is out there abusing another friends girl right NOW, and he may end up killing one some day. How would she like to live with that? It is up to her to SAVE the next kids he will molest! She can be a HERO if only she will speak UP!!!!!! Keep telling her that she HAS TO. And if she won't tell her parents, she need to go to the police station or something. But, truthfully, she needs to start with her parents. They would WANT her to tell them, and they will be disappointed when they find out that she kept it secret all this time.
2007-03-05 13:12:24 · answer #3 · answered by lcamel2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to talk to your friend about telling her mom & dad. The thing is, this guy either was or still is coming around and it is like he's pouring salt into an open wound. It's so sad that she had to go through that. This guy at the very least, should be made to stay away from this girl and her family or at the most be put into prison because, I'm sure he did it to other girls as well.
2007-03-05 13:10:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your friend should tell her family, if she does not want to (because many times the family will not believe it) Then talk her into going to some kind of counseling to help her out, if you can't get her to do either one then just be there for her, let her tell you everything that she wants you to know, it will make her feel better getting it out a little.
2007-03-05 13:09:56 · answer #5 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not your job to tell her parents, however, you must talk her into it. Tell her that she is not the one that should be embarassed or scared, it is that pig of a family friend that should be embarssed or scared. Good luck to you and your friend!
2007-03-05 13:09:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be there for her and offer her support. It is up to her to tell her parents. I believe the statute in most states on rape and molestation is ten years, if she decides she may want to press charges.
2007-03-05 13:10:17 · answer #7 · answered by Liz M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to tell her family, you can't force her to. That could just make things worse. When and if she's ready to tell them, she has to do it herself.
2007-03-05 13:10:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her parents, she should have justice and send that family member to jail
2007-03-05 13:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by angelof2004@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her make her own decisions...just be there if she needs someone to talk to...
2007-03-05 13:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by ~Jama~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋