Ever kept your lunch in the company cafeteria, worked like a dog, put up with the surly looks of a demanding boss, got called at work by a divorce lawyer and collection agencies and then went to lunch and found your chow missing. This is serious disrespect and worse than Grand Larceny. Why kick a working man in the gut when he is already down. So to take care of business I smeared a peanut butter sandwich with my nephew's diaper leftovers and liberally coated it with fragrant marmlade to disguise the foul odor of my nephews discharge and placed the masterpiece in the company fridge. Come lunch time, there was a horrifying shriek in the cafe as the pilferer ran to the restroom in front of other workers and started rinsing mouth profusely like he had just bitten a skunk's tail. Management is investigating the matter and the bread spread has been sent for DNA analysis. Not that my nephew works in the company, and I doubt I share many genes with him. Should I fess up or stay mum ?
2007-03-05 04:51:41 · 20 answers · asked by Kaliyug Ka Plato 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It was your sandwich, they deserved what they got. Can't say anything as long as you say it was yours, they took it w/o asking. THEIR PROBLEM!
AND FUNNY.
2007-03-05 05:00:37 · answer #1 · answered by photocritter 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact that the sandwich has been sent for DNA analysis means that you are in way too deep to confess. Chances are they are looking to prosecute someone. With everything the way it is now, who knows what they will charge you with if they find you. That could be considered a biological ---. You better hope your nephew wasn't bleeding or shedding when her pooped, or that a few strands of your hair didnt fall into the sandwich. You can't confess now, they already sent it to the lab, they are serious about this.
2007-03-05 07:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by Haveitlookedat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep your mouth shut. If you fess up not only would you lose your job, you would probably also face criminal charges or a civil suit because eating fecal matter can cause serious illnesses like E.Coli or Hepatitis. In my opinion that was going too far. The thief deserved to be punished but they could really get sick from what you did.
2007-03-05 07:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by Hamlette 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's hilarious! I always talk about stuff like that but never actually go through with it... My advise would be to not fess up to it. Let them catch you and if/when they do, explain what was going through your head at the moment.. Or, wait, until your life mellows out a little so that you can turn yourself in a calmly matter. Just get ready to face the consequences.. Good Luck!
2007-03-05 05:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO
1. Try labeling as some experiment
2. Spray the wrapping with a special spray to detect the robber
3. Put some blades, razor, nails ...
4. Put a vial of extremely hot tabasco chili
Seriously it is not worth it my man.....
Just get some snacks (granola bars) and put it away in your drawer
or go out and get a burger
2007-03-06 07:25:43 · answer #5 · answered by coolGuy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!! I have thought of ways to get people back, but never anything like that...much less went through with it.
If you think there is a way they can find you out, then it would be best to confess. But if you are sure they will never know, keep it between you, your nephew, and the fridge!!
2007-03-05 05:02:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, I MUST congragulate you on a fantastic idea. Stealing other peoples food is NOT COOL!!!!! But, personally I'd come forward. I mean how else were you gonna find out who was stealing you food.
Management may scoff at the method, but it got the job done, and the culprit is not dead or bleeding, right?
2007-03-05 05:03:18 · answer #7 · answered by cj 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should keep mum, though it would have been slightly more etiquettiic if you had tasted a bite of it before you displayed it. That's the way good chefs do when they conjure a different kind of dish!
2007-03-05 18:36:12 · answer #8 · answered by Vijay D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
actually, you have VERY similar DNA with your nephew. Just say that you enjoy eating it, or that your wife or brother or whatever was playing a joke on you.
2007-03-06 23:20:49 · answer #9 · answered by angie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, that is GREAT !!
Good show, my friend! Hey, keep it up!!!
When you are being kicked and hurt due to no fault of yours, and someone steals your food on top of that, he deserves what he got!
Nothing wrong! It feels good to hit back at a thief !
2007-03-05 21:01:31 · answer #10 · answered by thegentle Indian 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say anything. I congratulate you on your success in finding the culprit, I know how frusterating it is to have your food come up missing!
2007-03-05 05:10:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋