What can I do about someone I know who is letting their child be subjected to different types of abuse?

Question

A girl i know who at one time was a close friend is dating or married to someone who is abusive to her in front of the children. she has been in the hospital at least twice in the past year that i know of. She is also addicted to drugs, and what kinds i'm not sure of. I know that one is meth because of the rapid weight loss and increased age in her face within the time period of about 2 months.
The man which i do suspect her being married to, has been in the county jail several times, and state prision once that i know of for abuse, assualt, and several other charges.
Why in the world would anyone put their children in that situation? She was a good person at one point in time, now she isn't stable at all and hasn't been in a while, she is 28 and has been through at least 3 marriages since she was 20. is there anything i can do to help these kids?

The problem with calling social services is that she has moved again i don't know where she lives now. i'm really worried about the kids, i don't know where her daughter goes to school at and her son isn't old enough to be in school yet. i don't know how to reach the biological father either, but i'm surprised he hasn't interviend yet either. she has done things to me since she got started on her pill popping bit that i have quit talking to her. so, as far as that goes, i'm not going to be able to get a phone number or anything from her. her family knows about it too, and they aren't doing anything to help her. it seems as though those poor kids are in a lose lose situation.

I am currently trying to locate her address. her last known address i know is from 2 years ago and she has moved at least twice that i know of. i know the town we live in the same town, but i'm not sure where. rest assure i am working on it though.

Answer 1

Plain and simple...Call the cops and call social services.

Answer 2

I don't know that there's much you can do for the kids that would also help your friend (who does need help, too).

Normally, I would pretty much always say to try every possible thing you can before calling authorities, but I think it COULD be warranted in this case. If you choose to call authorities, leave your name and contact information. Your friend doesn't have to know who it is, but if you call, they may want to follow up.

Hopefully what would happen is that the kids would be able to be in supervised care with their mom, or will be temporarily removed, and she can get them back after she gets her life in order and her addictions dealt with. They could also arrange for grandparents or other relatives to keep the kids until your friend gets things taken care of. This is tricky, because she's also a victim, but her drug use and complacency with an abusive husband/boyfriend is putting her children at risk.

Worst-case scenario with this, though, is that the kids are permenantly "in the system", and the system has some major flaws.

You could try staging an intervention, too. If she's presented with the firm possibility of losing her children from people who care about her AND the kids, it could force her to act.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Answer 3

She needs a friend during her time of need. If you do find her try to convince her to do what is best for her kids (ie stop the drugs, break up with abusive partners, get a job and a good man). Hope you find her-when you do, put in an anonymous call to social services or Child Protective Services. You're a good person for trying so hard to find her and trying to help these kids.

Answer 4

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROGRAM! They most def are the best! I actually use to work for our program here in TN (both the shelter and the court aspect) and they are very helpful. They will help you talk to your friend, help her find a place to stay, get an Order of Protection, if there are children involved and you let them know they HAVE to report it, and they will do so anonymously. Also, with a long background of criminal offenses he is more likely to do it again and again. Also the courts will look at the background considering any judgment made. Please call them for your friend and the children...they should never put up with anything of that nature. Good luck and make the step to call, it could save a life.

Answer 5

You have to call child services! We as a society talk a good game about ending child abuse, but all think that we should stay out of peolpe's personal lives. It ends badly every time! You know that there is abuse and unsafe conditions for these children, you have to make a report.

I can tell you, my family tried to block a family member from leaving the state with their child, bc we know they were doing drugs and abusive and neglectful to the child. We had never called Child Services, bc when the child was here, we always had her (she stay every other night with one set of grandparents) so, we knew she was safe. When we went to court, we had no proof and they let her go with her parents, bc we had never called Child Services. They got high one night, got into a fight and she got shot (the child). She id now in foster care and we are in the fight of our lives to bring her back here to live with family!

Be an advocate for the children! They need adults that have a BRAIN to protect them! I know you care or you wouldnt have asked! I also know it is scary and hard to do this to a 'friend' but, these children did not ask for this lifestyle! Give them a chance. you never know. Just one call and visit from Child Services might be just what your friend needs to 'wake up and be a parent!'

Answer 6

You need to call social services anyway. You give them the last known address and they will find her, trust me. You need to do something TODAY!!! Forget her (I don't mean that rudley, but she is an adult, she knows better) the kids are suffering and could be killed. Do you know what town they live in? Do you know any of her friends or family, anyone that could point you in a direction. Go to the local police station and present this problem to them. They are the experts. You have to do something immidiatly though, good luck.

Answer 7

Omg, get those kids away from them! Both her and her husband can go to jail for a very long time because of this. This is very serious, this really shouldn't be all on you but they are in some serious need of help. Those kids can't be with thier mother right now. You need to report this, I know she is your friend but these poor kids don't deserve this and what kind of mother would do that? So first get those kids a safe place, and then get that girl intervention!
Good luck!

Answer 8

Yes, There should be some sort of child services in the phone book. Most likely its a public number. Give them a call, they will keep your name to themselves and collect the kids. If you are truly conserned about the kids then the parents concern of these actions shouldn't matter. Thats what i'd do.

Answer 9

Call CPS. I don't think you need an address, because they have detectives that can find out that kind of thing - Just give them a first and last name, and they'll take care of it. Do something, because if you think it's bad now.. It'll only get worse. ALOT worse. Worst case scenario, her and the kids end up dead. That's not fair to them. Get someone there. Now.

Answer 10

Yep, to save the childeren call social services. You have to take into consideration that the meth she is dealing with is a disease in her mind. She does not have a good judgment of character, her head is fogged and lacks clarity. Not a stable mother.

Answer 11

First thing to do is think of the Children!!!!! If they are in this situation and in Danger being around drug`s and abuse.....Call Health and Human services and get an investigation going or the local police. These children are probably looking for Help..And if you are any kind of person who cares for children, think of them FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!