I am getting married in June, and am having a hard time deciding if I should invite one of my cousins or not. The problem isnt really my cousin but more that I am concerned she will bring her boyfriend with her, who recently got out of jail. She has four children now with three different men. I really would rather not invite the children either because I have not even met the younger two children and do not see them often. The last time she came to a family party she brought her boyfriend with her and he was seen stealing food and alcohol when they were leaving the party. I would feel really uncomfortable if she brought him with her to the wedding, but I feel bad excluding only one family member when every other cousin is being invited. Any advice would be appreciated!!
2007-03-05 03:37:28 · 10 answers · asked by taylor m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You should invite her, but just her. Dont put & guest on her invitation. And if she rsvps for 2, you should call her and let her down easily that your budget doesnt allow for guests. But you cant invite selectively in this situation, either you invite them all or you dont invite any of them.
Good luck
2007-03-05 03:42:09 · answer #1 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there cousin is not married, then you should not feel too concerned about not inviting the boyfriend. I think you should invite the cousin if you are inviting the other cousins, but it is totally up to you whether you invite children or not. I don't know whether you are inviting children of the other cousins, which if you are might be a bit difficult. Is size an issue at all? If it is this is a good excuse to use. For my wedding I had no children at the reception, but invited everyone to the evening party.
It is your wedding, you want it to be a day you will be glad to look back on. Perhaps you could include a letter in with the invite explaining that you are sorry you have not invited the children but size won't allow/never met two of them, and unfair to only invite the ones you have met.
Make sure the invite says her name on it, so it's clear it's an invite for HER, and put RSVP with her name on it. You'll need to know numbers for seating I'd guess, so she can't just bring someone uninvited.
2007-03-05 04:35:09 · answer #2 · answered by iccleanne 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not inviting her would not be right, since she would be the only cousin that would not get an invitation.
If other children will be at the wedding then you should probably go ahead and invite the children, otherwise on ALL the invitations you should put that parents are responsible for finding care for their children during the ceremony and reception. (This will make your wedding completely kid-free.....people with kids sometimes HATE this and feel somewhat offended....which may mean other guests with children might not come.)
If you allow single guests to bring a guest, then she will be able to bring whomever she chooses.....even her boyfriend. I would suggest talking to her and telling her your concerns. At this point she can make the decision if she wants to come alone, with him, or come at all.....
2007-03-05 03:50:07 · answer #3 · answered by deerogre 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like this is one of those exceptions, that if your cousin brought her boyfriend, it could cause some real problems at the wedding. Knowing this, it would be silly to invite them. It sounds like a recipe for disaster. Your cousin has plenty of problems, not being invited to your wedding, she can get over it. I am sure your other guests would rather not deal with this either. You will feel bad for inviting them, and also for not inviting them, so if you are going to feel bad one way or another, do everyone a favor including yourself, and don't invite them.
2007-03-05 03:54:18 · answer #4 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
According to ettiqutte, if you want to invite someone to your wedding who happens to have a significant other you do not get along with or who costs simply cannot allow, you should only put her name on the invitation. If she is not familiar with ettiqutte and thinks she can bring her boyfriend, put on the invitation "RSVP greatly appreciated". If she reponds to the RSVP by saying she will be bringing her boyfriend, let her know you don't get along with her boyfriend, or you don't know her boyfriend well enough, or costs cannot allow him to be there. As for her children, a good idea would be to have a wedding-babysitter, someone who would watch the children of the guests while you and your soon-to-be-hubby are at the ceremony (no one wants a squealing baby in the background of the video of their wedding!).
Good luck with your decision!
2007-03-05 04:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should invite her. She might no even go. Besides it's only one night. You'll be so busy with other things you probably won't even notice her there. As far as the children go , they're just children, it's not their fault. This might be a great chance to meet the two you haven't. Unfortunately, we can't pick our family members and that's sometimes what makes a great family.
2007-03-05 03:58:22 · answer #6 · answered by Claudia M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are inviting your other cousins you really need to invite her.
You do not have to invite her kids. On the invitation put her name and guest.
2007-03-05 03:42:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would invite her and tell her not to bring her boyfriend...
2007-03-05 04:18:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Invite whomever you like.
You are NOT obligated to invite anyone.
2007-03-05 03:49:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its your day..if you think it will cause problems..leave it out
2007-03-08 11:32:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋