Can anybody tell me, what is wrong with me?

Question

I'm a 39 yr old guy who works full time, going to school taking 16 credits this semester and is a single dad. I asked this question not to long ago and got some good answers but was wondering if there really is something wrong with me. Every time I try to talk to a female, I have forgotten what to say or do. I have no problems interacting with females I work with but anything outside of work is painful for me. The thing of it is, is that I was in a relationship for 7 yrs and the best thing out of that was my beautiful daughter. Now 2 yrs later after my relationship has been done I still find myself alone, longing for the touch and company of a women. The biggest problem I'm having is the female not understanding that my daughter comes first and that is the bottom line. Anybody would take a back seat to her it's just how it's going to be. I don't know, why can't anybody understand that a bond between father and daughter is stronger than anything I have ever felt. Thank You

Answer 1

Are these women concerned with the amount of time you spend with them vs. the amount of time you spend with your daughter? Or are they feeling like when all 3 of you are together you're showing more affection towards your daughter than you are towards them? It sounds like you're very busy with work and school. Maybe they just feel like they aren't getting enough quality time with you. If they are a parent, they should hopefully understand that the child's needs come first. However, most family counselors will tell you that what really makes a difference in a child's life and perception of relationships is that the adults have a loving and healthy relationship. Whether it's the parents as a team (marriage) or a parent and their significant other, it gives the child a sense of stability and shows them an example of a healthy relationship. Ask yourself this: if you and your daughter's mother were still together, would you devote all your time and attention solely to your daughter? My guess is no. Your daughter can and should come first to a degree, but you don't want to lay the guilt on her of relying on her for your happiness. Plus, it's a good lesson for her to know that the world does not realistically revolve around her. There needs to be compromise and sometimes what she wants isn't what she gets. It sounds harsh but it's life. I hope for you that you will find someone who can help balance all aspects of your emotional life... someone who understands, loves your daughter as her own, and can give you things that only a grown woman can.

Answer 2

Any other parent should be able to understand the bond between parent and child. Perhaps the woman you are encountering are just immature, don't have children of their own, or have unreasonable expectations. Of course your daughter comes first, that is the way it should be. Any reasonable woman who is wroth your time will not only understand that but admire it as well. The dating world can be rough, especially when you have been out of it for awhile. I'm sure you'll meet your Mrs. Right in due time, probably when you least expect it. Best wishes and take care.

Answer 3

Try meeting a lady with a child herself,your absolutely right to put the child first.You are being a good parent,but you need time for you.a lady with a child would be good for your daughter also,someone to play with.You have something in common.This way your children can be included in play time together.Picnics etc.Once and awhile get a good sitter for the child and go out and meet new people.Maybe join a singles club.There are ladies out there alone like you with children and have the same problem.

Answer 4

First of all I want to advise you to keep your position standing. Women do not like to be second to none, and no matter what, that will always be an issue for hers. You will be very lucky if you can find a loving women that can accept your terms. So, I do not think there is anything wrong with you.
Now, if you really want a women besides you, you will have to sacrifice some of your time and attention you are giving to your daughter.

Answer 5

well i'm a female and what i don't understand is that y do u have 2 tell the woman u r dating that she comes after ur daughter?
it's great that u love ur daughter so much ,but she's gonna grow up get a life and move on ultimately ,what about u then? u don't plan on being a loner all ur life right ?
good luck and take care

Answer 6

i think you need to take it one step at a time. woman are always going to want to come first weather its before or daughter or not. but your daughter is main priority and your new girlfriend should know this. Always be upfron with telling them you have a daughter. explain that she is very important to you. but dont make it seem as if its all you have. You sound as if you have a lot going for you esp since your working and going to school. good luck!

Answer 7

Perhaps you need to try to start dating single mothers. Women who don't have children yet have a very different view on life, and very different priorities because of it. (Just as I'm sure your priorities were different before you became a father.) You need to find someone with a like mind, and someone who has their own children certainly should.