Getting married when you haven't got a rich daddy?

Question

Me and my partner would like to get married. We don't have a lot of money and although we're sure that our parents will contribute, we really want to take the brunt of the finances ourselves. Has anyone got any examples of good weddings where there are lots of guests at the party (we're not bothered about having lots of guests at the civil ceremony) but it doesn't cost too much. We just want to get married and then have a really good celebration with friends and family without being in debt for years. Any ideas gratefully received.

Answer 1

Remember Jagger's Law. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes...you can get what you need.

I think the mistake people make is that they say "I want _____" and then figure out the bill. They should start with "I have ____" and then figure out what they can do with that to cover their needs.

New dresses seem like an insane ripoff. Secondhand work just as well, eBay etc. Frou frou decorations and centerpieces are the sort of thing you'll knock yourself out on and nobody will remember the next day.

You need food, drink, and some way to accept (noting what came from whom, for thank you letter purposes) and SECURE (horror stories abound of theft) your presents. Do as much of the work yourself/with friends as possible.

Some tacky person will suggest that you ask for money. DO NOT DO THIS. Have the party you can afford.

At the end of the day, unless you pull a Runaway Bride...you'll be married regardless of the bridesmaids' outfits or who had gardenias in their centerpieces, etc. Don't get wrapped up in the inconsequential. Congrats.

Answer 2

You are not alone - many people are in your situation. I say narrow down what is really important to you like entertaining, your dress or reception space. Then go from there. I'd say you can make your own creative invitations on a computer and print at a print shop in your area, if it's colored you prefer. You can get pretty paper for that, also. Have an intimate ceremony with only family and then have a blowout party after wards. My friend is doing hers like that - maybe 20 people at the ceremony, but she's renting a hall for the reception with dj, party and the works! Search around for spots and reserve early. If you want to cut costs on food, get one of the better cooks in your family to cater it - anyone is a caterer. Just remember presentation is what counts more than anything. We all know you can hire a dj or make some Cd's off of your computer with compilations of great music and have a cousin/friend/whoever play it. So, there you go! Have fun and remember having a great wedding isn't all about how much money you'll owe after wards.

Answer 3

My hubby and I got married for very little cost and without too much fuss and bother - just the way we wanted it. We had a civil registration in my home town, a buffet at my parents' house and a disco for friends in the evening. It was wonderful and didn't feel like we'd done it 'on the cheap'.

My Mum did the flowers and my uncle made a killer curry for the buffet (we also had sandwiches etc), I wore a jacket from TK MAXX and a skirt that I'd haggled to get at a cheaper price (because it was for my wedding). In the evening, we hired a local social club and danced till the early hours.

I really think that the simplest things can often be the best, and please remember that your wedding is not a competition - it's a day for your to enjoy and remember for all the right reasons (not for the years of stress that precede some 'events'). It's a day full of so much love that whatever you choose to wear or do, you'll have a wonderful time, providing it's on your terms! I wish you every happiness!

Answer 4

Yes, I can give you a few ideas. Go to The American Legion Hall, The Veterans of Foreign Wars Hall, Knights of Columbus, Moose Club or the Sons of Italy. These fraternal organizations usually rent out their facility for a fraction of the cost of a wedding hall. They will cater for you or you can bring in your own caterers. They will allow you to decorate the facility with your own color scheme. To save some money you can hav a buffet dinner instead of a sit down dinner. Bring in your own wine, beer and soda. Open bar, but guests must pay for their own mixed drinks. Why can't you have a religious ceremony in a church? Have the ceremony, and then go right to the reception. Flowers can be done by a floral arranger that works part time out of their home...much cheaper. If you don't want to spend on a band, get a huge boom box with great dance CD's and you will have plenty of music and at a fraction of the cost. Your gown can be rented or just buy a simple style gown in white or ivory that can pass for a wedding dress, and you will look fabulous at a very low price. You can make your own headpiece too...there are so many ways. Good Luck to you.

Answer 5

When are you getting married? Do you have anytime to save? I have made such bargains on my wedding. I went to a bridal show and won the cake topper and a discount on a DJ. I made the bouquets for me and the girls, made the centerpieces. The reception hall that I went to was cheaper on Friday night than it was on a Saturday.I was also given a discount because my sister had gotten married at the same place. I shared the alter arrangements with a wedding the next day, so we split the cost of them. I rented a party bus instead of limos. Send those postcards out in bridal magazines for wedding invitation companies. They are very inexpensive, high quality work. I even had my rehearsal dinner at TGI Fridays.
Have you thought about just serving appetizers instead of a sit down meal? They walk around with chafing dishes loaded, carving stations etc. There are so many things you can do. Use your imagination and dont let anyone tell you what you should or should not be doing. It is your day. Enjoy!!

Answer 6

You can find plenty of places now that give the room free if you have enough guests to buy drinks at the bar. You can ask friends and family to each contribute one dish for a buffet and get someone with an ipod to do a music list. The advantage of that is that you don't have a dodgy DJ interrupting all the time and you can make the music completely personal.
Ask around and I'm sure you'll find 2 or 3 people to take photos and even video the whole thing, just have to pay for the printing costs, though if you put them on one of the websites like photobox it won't cost too much, and guests can buy copies of photos they'd like too!
As for drinks, just buy enough to give everyone a couple of glasses to toast you with.
Flowers are cheap enough to buy, especially if you can get to a market, and its something that you can either do yourself or get cousins etc to help with. Turn it into a real family celebration, accept help from everyone, it'll make the day special for them and you.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, if you want "a lot of people" at the party after the ceremony, it's going to cost quite a bit more than if you were to try and pare down the numbers.

In fact, the majority of the cost will be the party/meal afterwards, with the average being about £30-40 a head with alcohol on top of that, so it can easily go up to £50-60 a head. If you have 50 guests, that'd be £2500 - £3000 just for the food and drinks, and the cost of hiring the venue will be on top of that. So if you want to keep cost down, really try to cut down on the number of guests as much as you can.

It's good if you have friends/relatives who deal with catering, music, etc. so that they can help by giving you discounted rates. Something else you can cut down on is the disco - is it really necessary? We didn't have a disco at ours and we felt that it turned out all the better for it. The event turned into a relaxed drinks after a meal, without the loud music and drunken dancers annoying everyone. Plus, we didn't have the cost of a band or a DJ to pay for afterwards.

Answer 8

You can cut some your costs with a trip to Costco. They have great h'ordouvres that look catered. Never have an open bar. liquor is usually you biggest expense. Have pay as you go bar. You can rent table cloth and plates, plastic is so tacky. Include your wedding party in some of the preparations. Have an outdoor wedding and reception it will lessen the cost of renting a hall. lastly buy your dress as close to wholesale as possible, or go with a shorter white dress. You can find something pretty online without breaking the bank. Get a friend to DJ. Most friend are willing to do that for you as a wedding gift.

Hope that helps. And by the way, best wishes for you marriage.

Answer 9

When my parents got married they didn't want to limit there guest list. So what they did was rent out the local VFW hall in the town and had an open invite to the whole town and any friends and family. However, they stated no gifts (they still got a lot) just pot luck dinner so everyone brought something and BYOB so they could party and have a great time. It didn't cost them a fortune and anyone that wanted to could go. My fathers band played for the entertainment. It was really laid back and just one big party.

Answer 10

i had a lovely wedding and my husband and i didnt spend more than 500 pounds our mothers and fathers paid for the evening reception and we paid for everything else we had it at three o'clock in the afternoon by which time it was nearly evening so we had a meal with the guests that came to the wedding then just a evening buffet i would not change anything and i agree with you what is the point of getting into huge debt the way i see it it is the marriage that is important not the wedding some people spend enough to put a decent deposit on a house and in this day and age it is just rediculous have a great day xxx