Boyfriend problems?

Question

Recently my boyfriend and I have had some troubles. He promises to be somewhere with me and just doesn't show up. We are both Christians and make it a point to be at church, especially on Sunday mornings. He'll tell me "I'll be there tomorrow" and then never show up. His excuse is I just couldn't get out of bed.
We do voluteer work with under priviledged kids with another couple. He text my email and said he'd be there. He never showed. I don't have a cellphone but the other couple does. He didn't bother to call them or anything. Later he was like "You don't have a cell so how was I suppose to contact you?" He's knoiwn this couple longer than me- he's known the guy since elementary! It would have been nothing to let him know whats going on.
He'd rather take the one night a week we have set aside for us to go play XBox with guys he sees all week. And then wonders why I get upset. He says he loves me and I really love him.
Am I asking too much? What am I doing wrong?

When his sister comes down and we go somewhere together, she sits in the font of the car next to him. When I mentioned it to him, he was like "she gets there first" kind of thing.
My parents may be moving out of the area in the next couple of months and I need to decide whether or not to stay here. My parents would be moving literally half the country away.
BTW, we've been together a year and about a month. I'm 20 and he's 23.

Answer 1

It's not you, it's him.

He doesn't seem to hold you up to a high priority in his life, nor does he have much of an interest in spending quality time with you. He may not be lying when he says he'll "be there tomorrow" or when he breaks other promises; he may indeed intend to be there, but he doesn't take it seriously enough to actually do it.

He's justifying his actions by making excuses for them; he'll continue to act this way if you let him. You might try sitting him down and explaining to him what you just posted to us, but my honest advise is to get rid of him; you don't treat someone that you love the way that he's treating you now. That's barely being a friend; he just doesn't care the same way that you do.

Answer 2

Wow. It sounds a little bit like he's trying to distance himself from you, hoping you'll get angry and break up with him so he doesn't have to be the "bad guy". I'm not saying that's what's definitely happening though, so please don't jump down my throat.
Next: From what you say, it doesn't really sound like you're doing anything wrong. I know people tend to tell their own story in a light to make themselves look a little better, but I don't know if that's what you're doing or not, so I can't judge on that :) Anyway, I don't think you're doing anything wrong, and you're definitely not asking too much. I wish I could give you a magical answer and make it all go away, but I unfortunately can't do that. As for staying there or going with your family - how close to your family are you? Would you rather stay where you're at and be miserable (if, say, he does break up with you, or this continues the way it is), or would you rather go with your family? That's a decision only you can make. My best idea would be for you to talk to him and see what he says - and if he just brushes it off with a "You know I love you", make him tell you more. If he gets defensive and such, then I hate to say it but the relationship probably isn't going anywhere good anymore. Usually if a guy is defensive it means he's "tired of you getting on his case" (or at least that's the excuse he uses), and he's not happy anymore. And I want to add once more that this is in no way your fault, so please don't feel that it is (no matter what he tells you). Good luck with this, I hope you figure out what to do!

Answer 3

Hello, I don't think you are doing anything wrong! I think that he is being ungrateful and is not showing you the respect and honour you deserve. I am certain that he does have feelings for you, but he may not want the same things you do. I would tell him that with the way he is treating you that he needs to pick up his game or unfortunately you will leave as you deserve more than he is giving you. I think he should show you more respect and call or email to apologise when he cannot attend something he has agreed to do previously. I am sorry that you are going through this. Rest assured you are not alone, and I think most men are like this at one point or another, and all us girls need to stick together. Good luck honey and take care of yourself, no one will look after you the way you can :-)

Answer 4

He should definitely be able to keep his word with things he tells you he's going to do, especially something that is iimportant to you. Just do what makes you happy. If he's lying to you (not keeping his word) then will you worry that he will always lie and not keep his word? You shouldnt have to worry about those things. If he loved you as he says then he would do those things to keep you happy. Or hes just so comfortable that he feels he doesnt have to because you will not leave him anyway so he can do what he wants. So, the best thing would probably be to talk to him about how you feel, otherwise he will not think you have issues with this and keep doing it. But, just do what keeps you happy, and if hes not doing it then you must make a fresh start, because you are worth all of it. If he wont give it to you some guy will! Good luck..hope everything works out for you!

Answer 5

You don't have a problem, he does. Not ready for a committed relationship. There are plenty of guys who are, so keep looking and move with your family, they will always be there for you till the end. Guys come and go, let this one go. And become someone who is confident with who they are with. No guessing at where the relationship is going. When you play the guessing game that is the time to get on with your life and stop worring about his.

Answer 6

I suggest that you....Tell him that your moving..and see how he reacts to it. If he asks you to stay, it doesnt right away mean anything. But you need to think of the fact that you are willing to make a sacrafice,...but would he be willing to do the same?...(for ex. if you asked him to move with you)..Before you make up your mind, make sure what he is willing to do to keep you by his side.

Answer 7

He needs to grow up. And it sounds like he isn't really into the Christian and volunteer activities that you are. What exactly about him do you like? That's what's confusing to me.

Answer 8

Leave him. He's not even contacting you, there is no communication. If he says he's supposed to be there, there is no excuse. He is not your boyfriend. Move on.

Answer 9

force him 2 spend time with u on things u like or toss his *** out.

Answer 10

he really seems immature for his age.. sooo maybe move on.. and see what happens.