My sister-in-law and I were pregnant at the same time, due about 4 weeks apart (girls were actually born 3 days apart). Anyway, at my baby shower, she brought out her sonogram pictures to show everyone to see if people could figure out if she was having a boy or girl. I understand, some women might have them in their purse, but I thought it was a little "look-at-me look-at-me" to bust them out to talk to guests at my shower about her sonogram pictures. Our daughters are a little over two now, but I just found this out in the past couple of days. I'm not going to say anything to her, but am I wrong to think that was kind of selfish? I've never been the type to say anything like "today is MY day" or anything like that. For example, I really wouldn't care of she had announced her pregnancy during my birthday dinner or something, but this kind of irks me.
2007-03-05 01:52:57 · 17 answers · asked by Lady in Red 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
P.S. No, I don't keep a scorecard between our girls. Please note that I said I'm not going to say anything to her about it. If it really upset me that much, I would. Remember, I only found out about it within the last couple of days. She does have a serious history of attempting to show me up. When my brother proposed to her, her commen was, "the only person I'm concerned about showing me up on my day is your sister. Everyone always says she's so pretty and smart, and I'm sick of it." When we had her bachelorette party, it was her sister's birthday. Before the party, she pulled her sister to the side aned said that she didn't want to even hear about it being her birthday (even to get a free dessert at dinner). She said, "it's my night, not yours". When she started dating my brother, we lived in the same town away from my brother. One night, I went to see him, and she found out, so she made him turn around and come see her while I was in the car to go to his house. He did it
2007-03-05 04:36:31 · update #1
This happened more than 2 years ago? For your own sake, let it go. Personally, I must admit, this would not bother me in the slightest, but, we all have our personal things that bug us, and I guess that your SIL has other things that bug you beyond this incident. In general, I think that you can't go wrong in taking the high road and being a classy and gracious person, who can accept when others do things that are less than appropriate.
2007-03-05 02:37:21 · answer #1 · answered by bugged to death 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With both of you due within a few weeks of each other, it would have been obvious to everyone that she was pregnant. She should have not brought them out and shown them to everyone. No I've never really been good at having everything focus on me and the "it's my day". I'm a much better giver than I am a receiver. I do think it is rude for someone else to take away from the purpose and focus of the day in special cases such as this. You only have that 1st baby shower with the newness and excitement of having a child. You didn't notice so that is good but I understand your being irked about it. At this point I would let it go without saying anything but keep an eye open for any future things that may cross the line of consideration.
Congratulations on your daughter!
2007-03-05 02:06:25 · answer #2 · answered by Margaret K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. This is too petty of a thing and way too long ago for you to be wasting energy being "irked" about. So what? You've got bigger battles, like the constant comparison between your two girls. ;) At least that is MY problem with my SIL. We have two girls a couple months apart. I actually felt like she got pregnant because I was pregnant. LOL In-laws can be the very devil and sometimes SIL's are worse. :(
Also, depending on how informal your shower was and the general family atmosphere, it could have been she never gave it a thought that she was stealing your thunder. Understand? I wouldn't even consider that my SIL was being that petty, unless I had a lot of history where she was purposely doing little jabs at me. I do think maybe you are latching onto this little incident to add to that scorecard you are keeping between you and her.
2007-03-05 02:03:13 · answer #3 · answered by Sara 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have every right to be upset about this. It was a bad judgment call of your sister-in-law to bring out her sonogram photos, even if she was excited, it was YOUR day.
I am sure (unless she is an incredibly self-centered person) that she has thought about what a bad judgment call that was and probably regrets doing it.
I wouldn't say anything to her unless someone brings it up. You can say that you thought it was selfish of her and that you thought she'd respect you at your own party. I have had this sort of thing happen to me several times, I know exactly how you feel.
2007-03-05 02:10:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is in the past. You didn't know what she had done until recently so it must not have taken too much focus off of your day. Who knows if she did it on purpose or not. It just doesn't matter. It's very small in the scheme of life. Focus on the positive things that bring you together with your SIS like the fact that you have children the same age and not these petty things because it's easy to drown in them if you let it get to you.
2007-03-05 02:23:51 · answer #5 · answered by born2run 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let it go. It's been almost two years and you didn't even know about it at the time. So she must have done it discreetly. Although I do believe it was inappropriate to bring out her sonogram photos at your shower. "Your day" has long passed. If you care to keep this relationship, let it go. What could you hope to accomplish by bringing it up?
2007-03-05 02:10:37 · answer #6 · answered by pathfindercia 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not appropriate.
Your shower, you and your baby's day.
I find it very odd that one would trot around with these particular photos with them. As a guest, I would find this offensive.
Not much you can do about it now.
You have a lovely child. Let it go.
Not worth one second of your concern.
2007-03-05 02:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be irked also and so will 95% of the people who read your question. Sometimes you get tired of turning the other cheek. You just want to smack them. This is a true test of your will power. Hang in there.
2007-03-05 02:09:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you are not........It was your day not hers. I am sure she is looking at it as you guys know the same people same family and everyone would be there. She shouldn't of done it though. But you know how exciting it is she probably couldn't hold it in. I am sorry good luck
2007-03-05 02:01:26 · answer #9 · answered by Mommyof3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was very rude. I have a jealous sis-in-law. She tries to make a competition out of everything. I really don't talk to her anymore.I invite them to family functions, but i usually just ignores her stupidity. Just ignore her.
2007-03-05 08:00:41 · answer #10 · answered by pretty_as_me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋