What questions to ask a parent who might be dying?

Question

I am just wondering what questions you wish you could ask your parent/grandparent/close family member if they are no longer with you? What do you wish you had asked them while they were still alive?

I mean questions for myself that I think I should ask? I cant think of anything.....

Answer 1

Ask them to describe the day you were born. Describe their wedding day, tell you stories of their childhood and growing up. Ask what the greatest joy was...and the saddest thing.

Ask if they are happy and if there is anything on earth they could do or anyone they could see, and try to make it happen.

Tell them you love them.

Answer 2

Take a tape recorder and ask him or her to talk about their childhood. What games or toys they played with. Who was their best friend and what did they used to do. Did they like school? Did they ride a bus or walk? Did they learn more at school or at home? Did they have a TV? Do they remember the first time they saw a TV and what shows did they watch? Did they have electricity? Did they have indoor plumbing or use an outhouse? How much did a Coke and Moonpie cost? How much housework were they responsible for? What did they do to help out THEIR parents? What did they do to get in trouble? What did they do that they never got caught at? What would have been their dream job? What jobs did they have in high school or after graduating? What was the first car they had? How did they pay for it? How did they meet their spouse? What was their wedding like? What didn't they accomplish that they would have liked to? What's the furthest they've travelled? Do they think life was simpler in their childhood, or simpler for kids today? If they're in the military, what made them decide on that particular branch of armed services?
Once you get them on any of the above subjects, I'm sure there will be much conversation as they remember things and you'll learn a lot about that person that you didn't know and stuff about your family that you didn't know.

Answer 3

First, I would just sit and talk. Spend as much time as possible. Make sure that you know where they want to be buried and if they have their will in order. Do they have a living will, including a DNR? And it is all in writing??? Very important!

I would ask about childhood. Ask about what they are really proud of. And tell them how much you love them. That's the most important, I think. My dad nearly died a couple of years ago and ever since then we've made a concerted effort to be more expressive, to all the parents...mine and my husband's.

If you have the chance to get a family picture before, do!

Answer 4

I was very lucky to spend a lot of time with my father in the last few years of his life but there were always questions I wanted to ask him that I knew he wouldn't or couldn't answer due to his character and lack of self awareness. So, instead I tried to ask him as many questions as I could about his childhood, his family, school years etc. I tried to form a picture of the events that may have shaped his character and personality. This was the only way I could relate to him as he was not affectionate or comfortable talking about his emotions.
I had several hours alone with him whilst he was unconscious and it was then I was able to tell him that I loved him and I knew that in his own way he loved me too. In the end I take comfort from knowing that I made the effort to get to know him.
So, my advice is to talk and ask as many questions as possible but depending on your loved one, you may never find all the answers you seek but if you try, when they are gone, you will know that you made the effort and that's what counts.

Answer 5

I lost my father 6 months ago after a long illness. There was one particular fight we had when I was a teenager that still bothered. I was able to apologize to him about it. Turns out he didn't even remember it (partially the illness), but I wouldn't have been able to sleep at night if I hadn't had the chance to say I'm sorry.
It's not always a matter of what questions to ask. When you think of losing your parent, what do you think about? What will you miss? What are you're best childhood memories? That's what you should talk about. Cherish every moment, they're not forever.

Answer 6

I think anything you wouldn't be able to find out later. Things about their memories of their own family that they might not have told you., relatives you never met, etc.

Also to be sure to express how you feel about them...and get their expressions of how they feel about you...things you don't often say out loud....now is the time before they are gone.

Also to mend any hard feeling situations, etc.

But most important of all is do they know where they are going? To be secure about what happens next is the most important question each person has to know. If they don't, ask a Pastor to come and share how he can know !

Answer 7

my mother died back in 1967 from cancer i was only 18 i wish id talked to her about what should i do if something happened we didn't talk about her dying even though the Doctor said she didn't have long i pushed it out of my mind i prayed and believed she would get well but she went to be with the lord i didn't under stand then i was young but i know she's not suffering now i wish id talked to her but i couldn't bring it up then i guess she knew because she told all of her kids not to forget about her teaching us about Jesus and she wrote a song about heaven she never complained but i think every one fears death but she never said

Answer 8

We knew little that morning that
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you Dearly, in death
we do the same. It broke our hearts
to lose you,you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you, the
day God called you home. You left
us peaceful memories. Your love is
still our guide, and though we cannot
see you, you are always at you side.
Our Family Chain is broken, and
nothing seems the same, but as God
calls us one by one, the Chain will
link again.

Answer 9

My great Grandmother pass away wen i was 15. I thought i new her, after all i spent most of my life with her, but i really did'nt, i new her as my Grandmother, not as the women she was, with a past and with a life. I think i would ask her things about her life and the choices she made and why.

Answer 10

I would defiantly ask them if they were right with God,Having the added comfort of knowing someone you love will go to heaven makes the loss a little easy-er to deal with.