We have a friend(male, single) that we have treated out to many meals. I don't know if I should mention to him, that would be nice if he would treat us, once in a while. He's not rich, but he could afford to treat us once in a while. We do enjoy his company. Feed back please. Do you have a similar situation to mention?
2007-03-05 01:16:51 · 11 answers · asked by Judith H 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
How about the next time you go out, and the bill comes, just saying 'your turn to get the check'... if he doesn't pick it up, you know where you stand. Then you'll have to decide if you enjoy his company that much that you won't resent him mooching off you.
2007-03-05 20:56:51 · answer #1 · answered by endorable 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ahhh, tricky tricky situation.
Common sense says, yes...he should be expected to reciprocate in kind.
BUT....we are talking about a man here (and don't get me wrong, I LOVE men (most of 'em;))
It could be a situation where hes thinking, they keep offering, I'm going to accept and not give it a second thought. It could be a situation where he enjoys your company and he might not be able to reciprocate and he doesn't know how to approach the subject with you (lest he be judged; not saying you would ever judge him...just that is what he could be thinking)
The only way you will ever probably know for sure...is to just be bold and ask him.
Its a hard lesson to learn, sometimes we want to know....we ask...and then we don't like the answer we do get....
A very good example of that:
For about four years now, everytime my daughters best friend comes over to spend the night...or goes to see a movie with us on a Saturday afternoon...whatever is going on...she NEVER brings money. NEVER. Not once. (she is 15) I have said to her mom (thats usually who I see/talk to) that it was fun that her daughter was able to go with us and I have told her how much was spent on her daughter. Her parents have never offered to return any money I spent on her. Not once!
This past weekend, my daughter went with her and her family and they ended up at the mall; went to see a movie and got something to eat....and I did ask *How much do I owe ya?*
At the very moment I asked the question, I fully expected her mom to give me a dollar amount. And she did. And then after awhile, I got to thinking about it...and thought well why the hell should I pay her back when all these years nothing has ever been offered back by them?
I'm a single mom of three....and this is a married family with two kids....
Needless to say, I owe the woman $14......and I will pay her.
Good luck!
2007-03-05 01:39:13 · answer #2 · answered by L ♥ L ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't treat anyone with the expectation of being treated back....if you feel that he is taking advantage of you just casually say before hand something like oh we have a budget we're sticking to this month so do you mind if we go Dutch.........or you can do what my friends and I do and each time we go out it's a different person's turn to pay (as long as the resturants we are going to are comparable in price and no one orders lobster while everyone else has a salad).........
2007-03-05 02:04:20 · answer #3 · answered by Love always, Kortnei 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been in this exact situation but something simular. What I would do is talk to him and tell him what you think. Don't be mean about it, be nice and just tell him whats wrong and what you think he should do because if you don't say anything to him nothing will happen. Don't say he has to return the favor the next time you go out but just when he has a chance such as another time or something like that. Hope this helps.
2007-03-05 01:28:56 · answer #4 · answered by T-Bob Squarepants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's kind of similar to the guy that stays for 3 rounds of drinks then conveniently has to leave just as his round comes up. I would lightheartedly suggest that it's his turn next time or ask when he's buying dinner. The other option is to just not go out for a meal with him until he suggests it and pays.
2007-03-05 01:28:08 · answer #5 · answered by HerbGal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask for separate checks the next time you're out. If he says he doesn't have any way to pay, I guess you could say jokingly but seriously "OK, but you get us next time". You can always just keep getting separate checks too. Or just go up and talk to him openly and honestly. Guys don't seem to be as affected by bluntness like women are.
2007-03-05 01:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by apple121205 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he calls and suggests meeting for a meal, say in a lighthearted way, "Is this an invitation, or should we go dutch?". It is totally possible to do this in a light, half-joking manner so as not to hurt or cause any awkward feelings.
2007-03-05 01:34:50 · answer #7 · answered by Maudie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The next time you are out, before the bill comes let the waiter know you want separate bills.
2007-03-08 19:25:54 · answer #8 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No....it would probably lead to him feeling uncomfortable in the future knowing you felt like this.
Best to invite him next time saying We are going to such&such on ?? Would you like to go dutch.
When your ordering also be sure to tell the waitress seperate
check check for US please. He should get the point without
your making it an issue.
2007-03-05 01:25:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Simply, don't invite him again.
You can't change his ways.
2007-03-05 02:44:38 · answer #10 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋