This girl won't leave him alone and is emailing again!?

Question

Two years ago my BF and I went through a rough patch and he turned to this tramp who wanted to be there for him. Well he chose to work things out with me rather than be with her, and ever since on the occasion that I have run into her at a social event she has been cold.. no big deal, but I just found her and him emailing. At first was the usual "how is life going stuff" no big deal, but than the conversation got a little flirty and dirty. We have been engaged for a few months, and I heard that she is engage. But I am SOOO mad!. I confronted him, he said he wouldn't email her anymore, but the next day she sent him an email and it started all over again. I confronted him AGAIN! he was mad that I checked behind him, but he has agreed to get help because of his "low self-esteem" and how he had a hard time because it was an ego trip to have her email him.

Taking a poll to see if I should give him another chance...

Answer 1

if hes already been with her ,and he came back to you but is still emailing her, seems he wants his cake and eating it

doesn't sound like you can trust him im afraid, id finish it now before you get hurt even more

im sure theres a few nice lads out there who will treat and respect you the way you deserve

good luck

Answer 2

Your bf is playing games. It is a guy thing when the guy is young and lacks life experience. He likes the thought of having a girl pursue him and it makes it even more exciting that in a way you're fighting for him too. Unfortunately, head games are usually played between younger dating couples. When you get older you'll have experienced enough of that crap that you won't tolerate it the first time it happens. That's why you get so much advice about not getting married at a young age. It's because most young men are not mature enough to realize the head games are childish and disrespectful(and some girls). You need to re-think your relationship with your bf(if the relationship continues) and consider postponing the engagement until he can act with more maturity. Tell him to come back and see you when he's ready to act like a man and settle down.

Answer 3

okay, same situation as mine. Why men just cannot be honest? the different part is my ex-bf were with another girl after I left, and then he still email me everyday when he was with her, obviously she never knew that. His behavior botherd me so much coz he dated me when he was married and he lied about the fact until i fell for him after half year when he really got seperated. I just can tell you from my own story, men has their own track. If he still email that girl everyday, which means he still got feeling for her. Like my own, I told my ex stop asking meeting me or having a cup of tea behind his girl's back becuase it is not a right thing to do. He finally stopped and we have lost our contact. The fact is, a guy never waster any time on any girl if he is not that interested in her espeically writing this kind of time-consuming stuff. Watch out your ex and just please remember, men has the same track. Because my ex was like that over and over at least 3 times. Its not fair to you at all. and you should confront the other girl and told her to stop it. I think both your BF and her need to take responsibilities. especially when their email gets flirty and dirty. WHY men are never honest?

Answer 4

Trust me, if ur engaged, he shouldn't be going behind ur back. Maybe he's just emailing this girl as a friend. Don't get jealous, because nothing comes from jealousy. Give him a chance. Don't get angry that he has another friend that is a girl. Just tell him not 2 respond 2 her flirty stuff.

Answer 5

you are not in a very good situation there at all..the question your asking here is.. will this stop..i dont think it will.. sounds to me even tho you two are engaged.. he may still have feelings for this other woman.. be very carefull what you do here.. there can be time where he may not really no what he wants..believe me.. take your time here.. do not hurry in to marrige ect. he agreed to get help because of low self esteem.. this is good hes agrees to this but will this stop the problem?? i cant answer that..but you no what has happened now and be very carefull ...life is full of bad situation and this one can be very hard on a person if it continues...

Answer 6

It sounds as though you really love him and even without admitting it you want to be with him. You’re asking the general public what you should do as far as your situation to get a general poll. Only you know what’s in your heart. You’re the one that has to live with the decision that you make. It does seem as well that you love him more and you’re willing to put more into the relationship than he is. He turned to her during a rough period however during that time he should’ve been talking to you and seriously trying to fix what was wrong in your relationship. Now that he claims to have made the choice to be with you and not her why is there still contact between the two of them? He’s not made the choice at all. He’s basically still talking to her and because you’re allowing it by not really leaving, his mind is saying that you’re ok with it because you’re still with him.

His claim of getting help for “low self-esteem” is just an excuse for him to continue talking to her. Tell him he’s engaged to you and if there’s things that he needs to talk about it should be discussed with you and not some other female. As far as her, I wouldn’t waste my time or breath. Basically you’re doing exactly what they want you to do. Now you’re acting ignorant with her and more than likely he’s talking about you and laughing about you behind your back to her. Think of it this way she wouldn’t be still contacting him if he wasn’t allowing her to do so. He’s talking to her just as much as she’s talking to him. They’re both to blame, however she’s not obligated to you so why flip-out on her? You’re man is the one that’s not being faithful to you.

Answer 7

i think if you want to try to trust him give him another chance if its not worth it to you then drop the drama and walk away.i have been in the same situation myself and when i laid it out to my mate that the email stops or the relationship does the email stopped.that doesn't mean i was calm about it trust me i was so mad i couldn't see straight but that was a year ago and things are fine now after alot of work on our relationship but i didn't leave any room for confusion and i stand firm if i find another email from this other person or that she has received one from my mate its done

Answer 8

low self esteem will indeed cause him to feel flattered when someone gives them some attention. he needs to control his impulses to respond to her e emails. he needs to value what he does have, and ignore the girl. first off i think if he were my boyfriend i would tell him how this is hurting u and destroying the relationship, and tell him u need to feel safe that u can trust him with your heart. set some boundaries, for yourself, making it crystal clear what u will allow in the relationship and what not. tell him u can't invest or marry him if u are having these doubts. tell him if this continues with this woman, that the relationship will be over and that he can have her. if he violates it again after u have made it clear how u feel, than what choice do u have but to break the engagement, and distance yourself, as u have to protect your heart, and your self worth. tell him if u have to keep confronting him that it just isn't worth it. we teach people how to treat us in life by what we are willing to put up with from them. if he can't be trustworthy what use is he, better to know now than after u have married him.

Answer 9

Girl a man gonna be a man and you shouldn't have went through his privacy and let him know you should have just found out yourself if you really wanted to know like shying now he is going to hide everything from you and yes you should give him another chance you are the woman that he want to marry not her he was just flirting because he was bored or just having fun...how are you going to be married if you can't trust him

Answer 10

Sure...give him another chance. IF he gets the help he promised to get. If not, then you are probably wasting your time. You could always go to therapy with him, or try your own ways of boosting his ego. Show him that he doesn't need attn from a tramp when he has you at home :)