bereavement/losing parents?

Question

I did a question on losing parents and i got so many lovely replies-It was so hard to chose the best answer-I had to say this just to let people who answered me know how much i apprieciated there response.has there been any other people in the same position

Answer 1

I asked a similar question about whether anyone had lost both their parents. My father died when I was 5 and my mother when I was 19 and I have no brothers or sisters. I got the following reply back which I really appreciated:

I lost my mom when I was 8 years old. I'm 71 and I still miss her and the mother daughter relationship that is so important for ever girl.

My father was always working. More like a workaholic.
He died after I married. I miss him too.

I am very independent because of it and I bet you are too.
When you don't have both parents, you have to grow up fast.

I can identify with your situation and feel your pain.

I would like to share a poem that comforts me concerning their death.

Don’t cry at my grave , cause I won’t be there.
I’ll be in the breeze ,that ruffles your hair.
I’ll be in the sunshine. I’ll be in the snow.
I’ll be in the places, that we use to go.
Ill be in your laughter and in funny things.
I’ll be in your shadow and there in your dreams.
I’ll be in your greetings but not your goodbyes.
I’ll be in the reflection, of your loving eyes.
I’ll always be with you and I’ll always care.
Don’t cry at my grave side cause I won’t be there.

Do what you have to do and do the best you can to the best of you ability. Be all you can be.

Forgive the past and yourself and take each day as it comes at you and you will be okay.

Answer 2

I lost my mum 7 weeks ago. I don't think I will ever get over losing her. I can't imagine Going on with the rest of my life without her, she was my rock. She was a beautiful, gentle, kind lady, who only thought of others even when the pain she was suffering was almost unbearable. I know she is free from suffering and pain. But I miss talking to her, cuddling her, Yes I'm 40 and i cuddled and kissed her all the time. I miss her smell,
What a terrible process in life grief is. I never imagined it to be so painful. Sorry to go on.

Answer 3

I lost my mum a year ago. She was beautiful vibrant and always lived life to the full. Her passing has so deeply affected me I felt that my heart would break for the longest time. It is a hard time and you suddenely wish you had told her you loved her more than you did. Life will never be quite the same, you'll never have that hand to hold again, but you can always hold her memory to your heart that way the pain become easier.

Answer 4

I have answered a few questions on this site about loosing a parent, i lost mum 16 months ago and i prefer to smile when i think of her than to be sad, i feel like i'm giving more respect to her memory when i think of the good times and that's the advice i give to people who have just lost someone close. I miss her like crazy but i'll always have her in my memories.

Answer 5

I lost my Dad 4 weeks ago- sudden -still cant get my head round it. I had so many lovely cards & flowers , I really thought most people these days were selfish I now feel I was wrong.
I did not read your inital question but from what I can make of this you too found people do care,
best wishes

Answer 6

This was very touching to read (as were the responses you received) and it restores my faith somewhat in YA - when it is used properly, it's a very powerful tool. I am sure that the words of others have brought you a good deal of comfort. I have elderly frail parents and I know their time will come soon and am trying to prepare myself for it.

I hope you begin to feel better soon. Thank you for posting this.

Answer 7

Hi first of all i hope ur ok. Losing someone is never easy. I lost both my dad and my brother in 18 months both to the dreaded "c"
I would like to say it gets easier but for me it hasnt. What has happened tho is the memories of them dying is replaced by much happier ones.
xx

Answer 8

hi there i lost my mum to cancer four years ago. we were so close. im one of 9 kids she raised alone. i have 3 kids and 2 grandsons. im only here because they need me bcoz i want to be with my mum. the grief never leaves and it hasnt got easier. i get so annoyed when i see people taking their mothers for granted and i cant help but remind them that they wont be around for ever because when mum goes you really are all alone in the world. no one ever love you like that again

Answer 9

Hi Kate
I lost my dad. He was killed in a car crash when my mam was pregnant with me. I've felt him around me ever since i've been a kid. I would've loved to of met him and made some memories with him so i would say cherish yours hun. I'm sure they're both smiling down on you.............x x x

Answer 10

you seem like a lovely person kate and i hope you have a happy life