Ok so my ex and I hooked up a few weeks ago and we spent the weekend together, after that nothing happened we jsut remained friends but we found out that his ex girlfriend before me was pregnant with his child (they did the same thing that we did) anyway, This weekend my ex decided that he never wants to speak to me again or see me again and that i must stay away from him & his mates, I don't know why he decided this, aparently its because i Lie, am sly & manipulative, i am none of these things. In fact i have spent the last 10 months trying to make him happy and do what ever he wanted because i was so in love with him, even when he cheated on me and lied to me.....
What do i do if i am Pregnant..... i'm very nervious,
2007-03-04 21:54:18 · 23 answers · asked by Jennifer W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh honey, he totally played you and is NOT your friend, despite what you want to believe. He accused you of these things to take the focus off him, and you played right into his manipulative game by trying to prove to him that you are worthy of a "real chance," and by trying to remain friends with him after the breakup, and by sleeping with him again. Be glad you are not with him anymore and promise yourself not to ever let yourself make a mistake like that again. If you find out that you are pregnant, go tell him as soon as you can, then just leave. Don't allow yourself to participate in an argument with him. Leave and stay away from him. He needs to sweat it just like you are doing. It should be discussed between you, but not particularly when he first finds out, and not when he is upset. Refuse to talk with him when he's upset and tell him you'll continue the conversation when he's ready to talk like an adult.
2007-03-04 22:11:29 · answer #1 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone else is right with the 'do the test' advice. Don't tell him you think you might be - that just comes across as manipulative. Do the test. Chance are its negative and you are worrying about nothing but hopefully you will learn the lesson.
But if luck is not on your side then you need to make choices. This guy sounds like a loser so do not count on support, make your own choice on how it affects your life. Are you ready to be a mother?
There are lots of arguments pro and against a woman's right to choose. Many of those who are against it cite a baby's right to life well I'm not one of those I will cite a woman's right to her life - no point throwing away your education and opportunities to bring an unplanned life into the world. I have had an abortion, it wan't traumatic, I don't feel guilty. It hurt a bit (like a bad period)and the hormonal ups and downs are horrible for a while (6 months or so)but I think having a baby you don't really want because you would feel guilty about not having it is far worse. I'm not saying that is what you should do I'm just telling you the stuff no-one else wants to tell you.
But on no account should you contact this guy about your fears, and if you are pregnant and decide you want to be a mother you should be prepared for the fact that your ex may not want to be a father and you cannot force him. Sure you can try and get some money from him but what good is that going to do? He is impregnating women right left and centre by the sounds of it - chances are his pay/benefit cheques aren't going to stretch that far!
2007-03-04 22:23:59 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you're nervous Jennifer and you have good reason to be. Has your pregnancy been confirmed. We need to get this out of the way first and then decide on what course of action to take. So pop along to your GP and get tested.
If you are not pregnant, then just don't see him again, however if you are, you need to go to the Citizens Advice Bureau and find out what your legal status is on this. If it turns out your ex is the father then he is legally bound to contribute to the baby's welfare.
Now, hopefully it won't come to this and everything will be OK, but if it dosen't the CAB can help you.
All my hopes
Marcus X
2007-03-04 22:01:16 · answer #3 · answered by The Alchemist 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of freaking out before you even know, wait to see if you are. Sometimes stress and worry can delay a menstrual period. If you miss your period, go see your doctor and confirm it. Then you need to ask yourself "Do I want to have a baby right now?" I don't know how old you are, and I do not give advice on abortions or non abortion subjects. Your doctor will help you more with that when you explain your situation. But in the meantime, try to relax and wait and see. As for your boyfriend, sounds to me like he's a chump. Let the other girls have him, I'm sure you will find someone who will appreciate you and treat you with the same respect as you give them. Good luck to you
2007-03-04 22:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by Jes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shocks!!!
if you are... well, its your fault too. yeah, you love him... but you shouldn't have had went all the way down with him... you know what i mean, right? and now he wants you to get your own life and never, ever bother him and his mates?! what the hell?!? that kinda guy doesn't deserve a very special girl like you. yes, its really hard to move on... especially when you're kinda feeling that you're pregnant! but there's no other way, girl... accept the fact. he's probably paying for what he did! karma. believe in good and bad karma. let him go! let him live a miserable life with his ex! just go and help yourself up. there's a guy out there who will love you a million times better than how you love this bastard! the perfect guy will accept you and your baby (if ever you are preggy...)! and oh, yeah... don't be sorry if you're pregnant! a baby is a gift from god... love your kid.... i will pray for you! god bless you and your family! buh- bye!
2007-03-04 22:05:02 · answer #5 · answered by CB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the doctors and get a test first of all. Contact your ex only if it is positive and if he doesnt get in touch with you then dont keep hassling - you cant make him be in yours or the baby's life.
If you keep the baby let him know when its born and let him have the choice of being in the childs life. Make sure that if he wants to see the child, he can.
Dont use the child as a bargining token and put the child first at all times and put whatever 'relationship' you have on a backburner.
Start using protection when you are sleeping with people
2007-03-04 22:03:48 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, go to the court and ask for an injunction advising you are pregnant after doing a homemade test with the pharmacy ones. Then ask to the court for a DNA test once the baby got born to prove the guy's fatherhood. Then the court will make a child support program where he comes obligated to pay you for the baby, the program is based on his salary. Good luck.
Don't pay attention to a moronic words like the abortion ones, Why to cover a mistake with another mistake which is worsen that the 1ST one? Why to commit a crime against someone isn't guilty for the mistake done by you and your ex? Give that creature the chance to live at it was given to you, if you can support him/her, give it in adoption, someone who can't be a father or mother by the natural way will be thanked for the rest of their lives. perhaps your baby will be thanked too for the chance of being somebody and for been alive.
2007-03-04 22:00:32 · answer #7 · answered by Javy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't listen to all these people who are telling you off for having unprotected sex - in the first place, we don't even know if you were using protection or not. [newsflash, people: girls using contraception can get pregnant too. it happens!]
you need to find out if you really are or not. if he's being such an as.shole, do you really want him in the baby's life, if you are pregnant? it might be hard but you may be better off alone.
altho, this event might change him and make him more responsible. whatever it is, find out first before you start worrying!
2007-03-04 22:04:49 · answer #8 · answered by drummergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be nervous. Allowing yourself to get knocked up by a known liar and cheater is not going to win you any IQ contests, you know.
Never mind speaking to him, get a pregnancy test done as soon as possible and then find a good lawyer who specialises in family law to sort out your child support issues.
And for heaven's sake, don't be so daft in future! You will have to set an example for your child soon.
2007-03-04 22:15:35 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In other words - you broke up but still slept with him - in the hope that something MIGHT change (or you hoped you would get pregnant) - Now, when it's all gone t i ts up - you don't know what to do - you knew you could get pregnant but carried on anyway - sorry - it's your mess - you have to live with it and clear it up!
2007-03-04 21:59:03 · answer #10 · answered by jamand 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋