NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MOVIES
A woman's idea of a good movie is one in which one person dies very slowly. A man's idea of a good movie is one in which lots of people die very fast.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
MARRIAGE
A woman often can't remember why she married her husband. A man often has no idea why his wife divorced him.
2007-03-04 21:30:26 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, comb, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. By definition, anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
THE FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
S*X
A woman uses s*x to get love. A man uses love to get s*x.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting him to change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
2007-03-04 21:31:31 · update #1
TELEVISION
To a woman, a commercial in a TV show is a chance to got to the bathroom. For a man, it's a chance to flip through the other channels.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
SHARING
A woman will share her deepest thoughts and feelings with a total stranger. A man will share his deepest thoughts and feelings only when questioned by a skillful lawyer under oath -- and then only when it might shorten his sentence.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they are going to be that day. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
2007-03-04 21:33:13 · update #2
and finally my favorite one
MISTAKES
A married man has no problem forgetting his mistakes immediately. His wife has no problem remembering them forever.
2007-03-04 21:34:16 · update #3
r u taking my place .pmsl go 4 it hunni x
2007-03-05 03:45:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every time spot on especially the cat thingy...I know my husband hates my cat but puts up a good pretence whilst I'm around. But when I'm not there he just ignores the cat.
If I ever found him kicking my cat his clothes wouldn't touch the ground as I threw him and his suitcase out of the door.
2007-03-05 05:39:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mostly true, I'd say. I am sitting here at work, and it has been hilarious. Have a big glow on my face now....it was so funny!
The bathroom products thing and the cat one, is still cracking me up...:-)).
2007-03-05 15:44:14 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG. ROFLMFAO. This is soooooooooooo funny, 100/100.
It has brightened me up no end, and I thought that was quite impossible on a monday morning.
cheers for the laugh.
2007-03-05 05:40:42 · answer #4 · answered by Richbitch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I saw the title of this one, I was sure it would have me fuming by the end of it... but I was wrong. That was pretty funny and there's a bit of truth in it!
2007-03-05 05:38:18 · answer #5 · answered by Kitten 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh hang your head in shame!! I loved these although don`t agree with all!
10/10
Tink x
2007-03-05 15:26:15 · answer #6 · answered by Tink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahaha! Really good! Keep them coming!
2007-03-05 05:39:35 · answer #7 · answered by krt_325 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
True.. every single one as I find myself discovering on a daily basis...
2007-03-05 05:37:42 · answer #8 · answered by k² 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah liked that some were way off the mark but amusing all the same
2007-03-05 05:46:11 · answer #9 · answered by elsie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LOL!! Pretty accurate, except I like action movies...
2007-03-05 05:40:38 · answer #10 · answered by AintSkeered 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋