My friend has a 14 year old daughter with whom she has terrible trouble. Her daughter has changed into a very nasty child and she cannot cope any longer.
I have been trying to help her by searching the internet for help groups or organisations or counciling of some sort, but all I can find are commercial courses / books / religion related homes etc.
Aren't there any social or mental help organisations for dealing with family problems like behaviour in teenagers?
I also suggested to take her to the GP, but that is not an option as my friend is mighty unhappy with the surgery she is with (and yes, she did try to change surgeries... but that is another question).
Many thanks for all your help.
2007-03-04 21:23:35 · 15 answers · asked by HarleyV 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Hi im afraid if you mention to any mother the words "14yr old daughter" they will all cringe.Mine was no different to your friends believe me i have felt like running away at times and i even played with the idea of putting her into care as i couldnt cope but then i found laughter, know it sounds silly but i began to laugh at her rather than get wound up or annoyed at first she used to freak but slowly she began to laugh back and i got friends with one of her friends she used to c us having a laugh and began to join in , we have gone from ripping each others heads off to actually being ok now , tell your friend to give it a try , remember what it was like being a teenager yourself and try to be her friend i know its hard but it can be done good luck.
2007-03-04 21:37:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First there is the obvious option of opening up communication between parent and daughter.
Next, there is the option of putting the daughter on behavior programs for the purpose of improving her behavior. At 14 years of age, the Premack Principle works quite well, but only if the parent is consistent.
Last but not least, the parent needs to provide a reinforcer-rich environment, so that when the daughter misbehaves and deprives herself of a reinforcer she experiences a sense of loss. This loss is an incentive to make behavior changes.
More info:
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2007-03-04 23:09:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its definitely the age group, and it will probably get worse before it gets better, all you can really do is hold your ground as a parent... and seeing a counselor or behavior specialist might be a good idea, but also monitoring friends, and where they are going, not tolerating the mouths, punishment and taking away the important things to them...my daughter is 17 and I just know when she comes from hanging out with this one girl how cocky and mouthy she gets when she comes home bad part she lives across the street and this has been going on since they were small but I just ignore her till she gets back to her normal self, every situation is different and other kids really do have an influence on other kids...
2007-03-04 21:36:48 · answer #3 · answered by Renee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand as you haven't quoted any of the behavioural problems that her daughter shows. Most teenagers are unbearable because they are going through puberty, stressing about school, dealing with the fact that they are too old to play with toys yet too young to go out partying and having to deal with their parents constant whinging. I was a terrible teenager and remember the time as an absolute nightmare. Give the kid some space and offer help only when she wants it. If you take her to counselling then she will only see it as another problem that she is being forced to deal with.
2007-03-04 21:42:02 · answer #4 · answered by SR13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your "friend" lol might have had some family problems which effected her daughter. If there were problems try to explain the problem and the reasons to her... also shes 14 she might adjusting to teenage life, such as high school. Give her some space and let her know that her parent is always there for her when she needs it. Dont be too noisy... she knows whats right and wrong... the more you bother her the more she is going to rebell... tell her what she is not suppose to do.. and give her space... she isnt stupid... she can make her own choices... sometimes you have to trust that she can learn on her own...
2007-03-04 21:32:52 · answer #5 · answered by Random Friend 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Forget relgious unless you want a brainwashed stepford wife.
14 can be a mad time with all the hormones and **** and working out sex and sexuality which is where lots of that is comming from, plus need to assert slef, all the bullying at school, and competiton etc inc for boys.
Mentoring may help from somone tough .
Also getting her into stuff to burn out the stress and exhaust her (also boyfriends help as much is frustration)
Though at that age it will be who you hate.
Tip make best buddies with the bad ones and hate the good ones.
Part of it is testing boundaries so you may need to be tough and fighting back to establish dominance to help her have some control she may not have.
Ie think you just made emperor... you need somone you cant touch to stop you going loopy.
This is parenting... its a battlefield and needs help to pass trough it
Getting her into a heavey metal/goth type scene ( may actually help if you get somone else to do so and the talk never occured)as rebellious, parents dont approve or understand (good), Piecings and mad hair pisses off teachers... aslo good.
However it teaches you to look after each other, work out stress on dance floors and many end up teachers, paramedica, youth workers inc several i knew.
Likewise extreme sports the wilder the better.
Punch bag would alos help, maybe some weights
Poss drug related, ie stimulant (avoid coffee, coke, and red bull)) maybe speed or cocaine
Lifeline do a booklet for parents and how to talk with parents for teenager... And their stuff is very well targetted... ie you wont like it... = good
www.lifelinepublications.org
http://www.lifelinepublications.org/catalogue.php?PHPSESSID=473789af35d8be97a77bfe96711047dc
www.lifeline.org.uk
www.drugscope.org.uk
www.talktofrank.com
www.ibogaine.co.uk
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WWW.ECSTACY.ORG
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2007-03-04 21:45:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would advise her to contact the school counsellor. Their role is also to help support the family of students in crisis. They can also make referrals to community counselling service some of which are run by relgious groups but one doesn't have to be a member of a particular faith to use the counselling services. There is no preaching involved, only support.
2007-03-04 21:36:53 · answer #7 · answered by lizzie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As much as you will not like my answer, I need to say that the problem is most likely NOT with the daughter. The challenge is with the mother and the way in which she has raised her daughter. It is rarely the children that are at fault....it is their parents. To help the situation it may need family counselling and they are listed in the yellow pages under Family & Personal Counselling. 02 9427 3122. This is for sydney. Good luck.
2007-03-04 21:31:40 · answer #8 · answered by *** me *** 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i am one of 7 sisters and my mum would agree we all turned into bitches during our teens. iv had two daughters now 18 and 23 and i had hell with both. selfish nasty beings. thankfully they are now mature wonderful daughters. my mum told me i had to spend more quality time with my daughters on our own and i did this i started going macdonalds, shopping, cinema and mum as usual was right the more time i spent on my own with my daughter the closer we became. i stopped being the enemy. this should never mean that dicipline is lost bcoz i kept the dicipline the same (no cheek, abuse etc) just me and them time. she will grow out of it but i know how horrible it can be good luck
2007-03-05 01:53:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, as a teenager myself i think of that your daughter is going by using some situation in school. I actual have in simple terms long surpassed by using a bad patch myself (rigidity from direction artwork, adult adult males lol, huge serious problems with pals too an abode issues) and as quickly as I went by using this i replaced into continuously offended and adversarial to the folk around me, quite my kin im afraid. yet i've got been given over it so according to danger she desires time, so heres my advice besides: a million. save encouraging her to flow to college (of direction not too lots because of fact she ought to finally end up sciving) 2. sturdy flow in doing away along with her pc,i stay by potential of mine! if shes have been given a cellular take that aswell and the rest she holds close to her (my weak spot is books, continuously has continuously will lol). 3. tell her how ridiculous she is being and make it ordinary that she will have the capacity to be sixteen quickly and performing like she is will not learn any know or freedom from everyone. 4. depart her to it. according to danger between the info. whilst she throws a tantrum, depart her. do not argue back, she will have the capacity to easily get very annoyed and in all probability typhoon off. once you do communicate along with her back, forget approximately approximately what had surpassed off and pretend like each and every little thing is commonly used. it somewhat is approximately each and all of the advice i provides you i'm afraid, i replaced into in slightly bit a various situation then your daughter so... i'm hoping ive helped in any know available! oh and btw, undergo in suggestions that she is a teenager and teens do tend to act up slightly etc (conversing from understanding seeing as im dealing with this atm!)
2016-10-17 07:33:56 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋