Should new moms get a once monthly girls night?
Ok, my best friend is 24 and her child is now 8 months old. Last month we decided we needed a "girls night" and when she came home she was in a HUGE fight with her boyfriend. He says she chose to have a family and that is where she should be at all times. Her parents agree with this and basically flipped out on her when she told them she had plans for a girls night this weekend. They all seem to believe she gave up her LIFE. What do you think, is a once-a-month girls night out ok? Her boyfriend agreed to let her go after they had the huge last fight but he will not be happy about it. Help please I gotta know is this what everyone believes? I am a mother of two and I see absolutely no problem with this and my boyfriend doesnt mind me going out. Are we not normal or what? Mothers need time to relax and breathe, what good is a cranky stressed out mom ya know? Whats wrong with a couple drinks and a pack of girls having their girl-talk?
2007-03-04 19:31:51 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It sounds like a good idea to me!!!
2007-03-04 21:38:28 · answer #1 · answered by Oops! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with a girls night out or a night without the kids. In fact I would recommend this since battle fatigue dulls the senses and dealing with kids all day every day causes some serious battle fatigue. I bet the boyfriend goes out on the weekend with the guys to have a drink so why should she be the only one in the relationship to have no life. If she doesn't get a night out she is going to start to resent both him and the baby. This is something that will just grow until it reaches a boiling point and she does something that otherwise she wouldn't do. I make my hubby take care of my daughter at least one day a week (most of the day anyway) so that I get a day off. I am a stay home mom so my job is 24-7 and there are no days off where as he works 40 hrs a week and gets to leave work at work. Family is an equal thing not something that only mom is responsible for taking care of. I hope this helps you.
2007-03-04 19:55:43 · answer #2 · answered by MOMMY585 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Amen to that girlfriend! Being a mum is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Unfortunately, a lot of boyfriends and husbands don't realise this. They get their time off on the weekends from work and get to go and have a drink at the pub or whatever but when is it a mums time off? We are a 24 hours a day 7 days a week, 365 days a year machine that never gets a rest. I think twice a month, once a fortnight is an even better suggestion. God knows i go crazy with my kids after a week!!! Besides, we all need something to look forward to. geez, your friend had a baby, she bought a new life into the world, she didn't give up her old life. Tell her boyfriend and parents to stop overreacting get ready for some more babysititng!
2007-03-04 19:39:02 · answer #3 · answered by Kris 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As long as she's not going out and acting like a total slut, then there is nothing wrong with it. You know from experience that this girl needs a night of sanity. Her BF should try staying at home all day with babies and never getting out of the house. Just because she has kids, there is no reason for her to sit at home all day and all night. And once a month? He's complaining about once a month??? Seems to me her BF is being a jackass. She will have her night of fun and end up all relaxed and in the end, it will help her be a better mother. I'll say it again, her BF is being a jackass.
2007-03-05 02:09:17 · answer #4 · answered by katymlady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most definitely. It should be required.
Everyone needs time by themselves or with friends once in awhile. Once a month is realistic for someone with a young child and anyone who says differently is crazy....No one should have to stay home with kids 24/7. Although your life changes when you have children, you shouldn't have to give up everything and stay home every night.
I'm curious if her boyfriend ever goes out or if he stays home every night. I am a stay at home mom with 3 kids. I didn't go out until my first daughter was 6 months old. My boyfriend (who is now my husband) liked to stay home and didn't really understand why I needed to go out. Once I explained to him that I needed "Me" time and how that would help me be a better mom, he completely supported it. I also encouraged him to do the same thing. Your friend and her boyfriend need time together and time apart. He must be the jealous and insecure type or he would want her to go out and fun once in awhile. There is no way I would have been a good parent if I had stayed home every night with my husband and 3 kids for the last 11 years. What a depressing and archaic thought.
2007-03-04 20:07:02 · answer #5 · answered by Get Real 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a girls night is fine, and whenever said mother feel it necessary to get out of the house. A mother is still a person. If mom feels like she needs a break once a week to have some time with her friends, then she deserves it.
I strongly doubt your friends mother never hired a sitter. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I hope that they get a sitter rather than dragging the children around every time mom and dad go to do something, because that's really unfair to them and the children. If more people would get a sitter rather than doing just that, dragging their children around everywhere, I'm pretty sure we'd see happier and healthier families. It's not good to be constantly on top of each other 24/7. You start getting sick of the people you're around.
You are normal. It's your friend's family that is not. Most adults understand that adults need adult time. Just because you're a mom doesn't mean you have to barricade yourself in your home with the children all day, every day. And just something to chew on - Not all adult children with children live near their parents anymore; In the event of some major problem, medical emergency, dad/mom gets in a car accident, it's going to come in handy to have some good, trustworthy friends to keep an eye on your children.
2007-03-05 01:22:04 · answer #6 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a good idea. I would go crazy if I did not get a break. I am a sahm of 2, my husband gets home every week night at 8pm, then goes to sleep, and I have to deal with the kids all day. Why not make a play date and bring the kids? I dont think its ok that she go out clubbing or getting drunk but I dont see whats wrong with going to a movie or going out to eat. She has a kid now and her bf is right, its time to grow up but she can still do grown up things and have fun. What does her bf do? does he get any time away from the baby? and why are her parents even involved with this? Does she live with her parents? if she does she has other probs she needs to worry about
2007-03-04 19:43:27 · answer #7 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It is a good and practical idea. It will enable the Mom to develop some alternate caregivers who may come in handy if the Mom is sick, hospitalized, or otherwise sidetracked.
The time out of the house will also help prevent her from slowly going insane.
Take it seriously, plan it, and do it. If things don't go right, figure out what went wrong and fix it. Then try it again. When things go right, slap yourself on the back and say "I've done good!"
It will be good for the Mom and good for the kid.
2007-03-04 19:44:49 · answer #8 · answered by Dave 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All mother's and father's should have the option of one night out a month. Of course nothing overboard...dinner, drinks or a movie. I am a mother of 1 and my husband has no problem with me having a break at least once a month but usually more than that. Otherwise you go nuts especially if you are a SAHM. Sounds like he probably doesn't have any friends to go out with every once in a while.
2007-03-04 19:43:04 · answer #9 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with that you are mother first and social life comes second. When our daughter is cranky or sick, neither my husband nor I don't go out. HOWEVER, when the kids are happy and well, there's nothing wrong for girls to get together! My husband encourages it. He tells me that I'm more content and more patient with him and the kid because I got my own time. He has poker night with the guys, only fair he takes care of her when I want to spend time with my friends! Our daughter is 7 months.
2007-03-04 19:54:54 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_cincin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's completely ridiculous to think that someone should be at home with their family all the time. Everyone needs a release, some time to themselves or with some friends to relieve stress and have a good time. Otherwise there's sure to be plenty more fights...
2007-03-04 19:36:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋