Yes, Yes, I know it sounds like a stupid question but my girl and I have been dating for a while now. We've came pretty close but she always stops me right before. Then she gets all frustrated because she says she really wants to do it but her gut keeps telling her no. I think it is that she is just scared because it'll be her 1st time. She's told me over and over that she wants to do it but she stops it from happening everytime. What can I do to help her get over her fear and doubt?
2007-03-04 18:46:45 · 25 answers · asked by Running Man 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Same as any other girl, open your wallet.
2007-03-04 18:53:43 · answer #1 · answered by S h ä r k G û m b ò 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Hey bro, you better back off--the decision is hers--not yours--and she may be too nervous because she cares about herself and her up-bringing--she probably knows better---and as a respectable young man--you shouldn't have sex or try to push her into sex--you obviously don't care very much for her--you just want the goods--prove to me that I am wrong. marry her and show some integrity--then you can have sex--now it is just an act and you just cannot wait--might as well get a prostitiute--it will fix you up in 10 minutes--so stop talking about it--go do some fun date stuff--and stop pushing the girl. Are you ready to be a dad--and is she ready to be a mom?? OH yes, you use protecetion--so did millions of unhappy moms and dads...and diseases--are you sure you and her are clean??? The eternal drip is NOT VERY NICE. Her life and her decisions are what she is entitled to--she owes you nothing---if this isn't good--go find another girl. You never mention ages or the word LOVE--love and sex go together-you better grow up and get some integrity, respect, tolerance, and caring for your mates. Sorry I didn't say what you wanted to hear--just trying to save what little relationship you do have.
2007-03-05 03:01:23 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That gut feeling is a difficult thing to overcome. That means that, internally she really isn't ready even though she says she is.
But ok: what my friends boyfriend did was to distract her, he kissed her, and done a whole lot of things without giving her a chance to think about it, kept her busy (because like ur girlfriend she also consented)
They still dating now, with a healthy sex life.
2007-03-05 03:09:46 · answer #3 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to like the answer. You cannot make her.
You have to wait until she is ready. Until then do other things.
IF she is not ready then she is not ready and sex will not be fun.
She has to be relaxed &she has to want to. It's all about mood.
You need to work on your relationships & doing other things.
PArt of it may be you are unconsciously putting stressing on her.
You need to focus on the rest of your relationship.
Part of the reason she feels unready might be she's affraid of you
She might be worried sex means more to you than the rest of the relationship.
Give her time; when she is ready, fully trusts that you care & won't just focus on sex... then she will give herself to you.
It just isn't the right time yet. Your relationships isn't ready yet.
You sould be happy... it sounds like you have a real and sensitive woman that is worried about real love. How many other people your age are? She sounds like a keeper.
2007-03-05 02:58:53 · answer #4 · answered by Don Quesadia 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you are over 18 then I dont see a problem with it anytime she wants to, but before hand you really shoudl wait.
Never---- ever continue when she does not want to. Her fear is probably having a child and she is not ready for that, or the commitment towards you. Sex = love =crapload of commitment.
2007-03-05 02:52:51 · answer #5 · answered by Dingdingdong 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You CAN'T and if you can, you SHOULDN'T.
That little feeling is there for a reason and it keeps popping up for a reason and not just bc she's been brought up to be a "good girl".
The best thing you can do is respect her, encourage her to respect herself. Once she violates herself, her inner voice, there's no going back. That door is opened, she will have walked through it.
I wouldn't be surprised if she's smart enough to question how she will live with herself...and finding at the last minute that she can't.
It doesn't sound at all as if she prepared to go beyond just touching that doorknob--absolutely no pun intended.
Again, the best thing you can do is respect her, encourage her to respect herself.
2007-03-05 02:50:26 · answer #6 · answered by answerme 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well it's up to her when ya'll have sex, not to you. She apparently holds her virginity highly and doesn't want to feel "dirty" afterwards. You can either (if you love her very much) just give her time and wait until she is read, or threaten her and say you'll cheat on her if you don't get your sex, cuz you are a man who needs sex, or dump her and find a more easier girl who loves sex. Or yeah, marry the chick.......
2007-03-05 02:53:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you really care for her, but this is abnormal behavior. You don't want her to perform any sexual aberrations in bed, but you think that the dating has come to the place where you two need to bond in a physical way and if she isn't up for it, you'll understand...but you need to move on. Don't say it in a threatening way, just state the case as quietly and respectfully as you can; and keep a smile on your face the whole time. She'll either drop and give you 50 or she'll bust out crying and run home to mommy...but, you'll have your answer. Stop wasting time
2007-03-05 02:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you cant help her get over it.
its her body and if its telling her NO respect it.
dont push it.
maybe thats why she is freaking out.
and what is "for awhile now"
its it been only months and not years you need to slow down.
she will have sex when she is ready. DONT FORCE HER!!!
if she isnt ready, tell her you understadn and want to make sure she is 100% ready. no doubts!!!!
i really hope you think about this and dont push her. you will regret it. just let her take her time and if you think she is taking to long to have sex with you then you are a jerk and shouldnt be with her cuz you are just going to end up hurting her and thats not love.
2007-03-05 02:52:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
well everyone has given you good advice to respect her and wait for her and all...my advice goes a little further stop making out with her...hows that going to help....well she will start asking you why have you stopped...answer truthfully that you no longer see the point in doing so and why start something you cant finish...after a while either you are going to get some sex or your relationship is gonna come to an end
2007-03-05 03:04:01 · answer #10 · answered by snehesh 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Spend more time with her, stop pushing things too fast. She will ask you to have sex with her. And don't forget to be 100% honest with her. I tell that, because virginity for some girls is something special, and maybe she's afraid that you might leave her, after you have sex. The other solution is to get her drunk and take her to your place, always works :)
2007-03-05 02:55:06 · answer #11 · answered by hazard 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋