i care about him a lot, so dont jump on me and say he is just misunderstood. believe me i know about cutting, and he def. does it when i dont pay attention to him 24/7 or wants me to feel bad for him. this effects me greatly because i have severe depression, and it is really hard for me to "cheer him up" (as he demands that i do), when i am feeling helpless myself. (i however dont demand attention, or do so in an immature way.) how do i deal with this? should i ignore it or talk to him about it? i know not to give in to his bait but should i tell him it isnt the right way of dealing with things? helppp.
2007-03-04 18:28:52 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
did i mention his twin brother attempted suicide?
2007-03-04 18:40:00 · update #1
Sounds like you're both in a bit of a rut with your depression and his cutting. You have two choices, to get through your issues together or do it separately. Either way, the issues cannot be ignored. If you really want to be with your boyfriend (and it sounds like you do), then I agree with your last point which is to talk about it with him and support him as he works through his issues. This doesn't mean you have to "fix" things because he is the only one who can do that. But you can help him devise a plan (i.e. see therapist, read books about cutting), and support him with his progress and help him when he gets stuck.
It's a lot for one person to take on especially when you are already dealing with depression. I wish you both the best in the future.
2007-03-04 18:51:40 · answer #1 · answered by nutty 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you really think he would listen & take your advice? You know better. You may care for him deeply, but you must take care of yourself first & foremost. You are leading yourself on if you continue to let this pshycological game continue. You have to be the one to stop letting him control you. Tell someone like a school counseler & let someone else into the situation to help deal with the issues. And don't make yourself feel guilty for it either because it really is the most responsible thing you can do right now.
2007-03-04 18:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by North of Heaven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello..
Its sounds to me like your BF. has Borderline personality disorder..
Trully.. all that you have described.. the cutting.. the constand need of attention.. ect..
There is a good website..
Call the Nook..
YOU go to BPDcentral.( borderline personality central). and then click on the nook.. Its an open forum for people dealing with someone who has the symptoms you described...
I understand how you feel..
IT must be hell
Im so sorry you are being exposed to this..
Everyone in life does not suffer from this..
PLease go.. and read here.. It will help to knw that others are dealing with exactly what you are as well
Good luck
2007-03-05 02:21:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time now to look after you, You say you suffer severe depression, you are not able to care for someone who inflicts self harm just to get your attention. How can you pay attention to someone 24/7, it is just not possible. My husband has addictions and schizophrenia, I thought I could 'cure' him.I am a recovering alcoholic who has had severe depression for many years. I love my husband dearly but am in the process of getting him sectioned into a mental rehab because he needs professional help that I cant offer, despite being a mental health worker (with the elderly) for many years. See I would do anything to get my husband well, despite being abused etc. People may think I am crazy for sticking with it, but that is what love is all about. Now I know my husband is being treated properly I can get on with my life, you need to do the same
2007-03-04 18:48:22 · answer #4 · answered by judles 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your bf is a dumbbass.. .and what the hell - you will never be happy or get better if you choose someone like this be your support mate and whanot. ugh, anyway, fu*(& him - i hate attention cutters - screw you all - i cut in secrecy for 7 years before I asked for help. Failed at getting help - went back to hiding the cutting - it got accientally found - pretened to get hlep for a few months - winter came - coud go back to hiding it -= friends/family now think i haven't tcut in years - what a stupid thing to do : )
2007-03-04 18:42:45
·
answer #5
·
answered by jennainhiding 4
·
0⤊
0⤋
he is one sick puppy. he is manipulating you, and as long as you put up with such behaviour, you are enabling him and he will continue to do so. Suggest you tell him that if he cuts himself again, you will have nothing further to do with him. You have enough on your plate dealing with your own depression without adding his problems to yours.
2007-03-04 18:35:14 · answer #6 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do tell him, but dony worry too much if it is only for attention he isnt going to kill himself.
2007-03-04 18:32:21 · answer #7 · answered by dundledee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try 1800 dont cut
2007-03-05 00:35:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel.
2007-03-04 18:33:26 · answer #9 · answered by Toni M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋