I and my bf in communication are null. We always fight for stupid reasons. Yesterday was his birthday and I gave him a gift so he told me thanks. and than he said to me he became 30 years old he’s getting old he wants to settle so we cant go on like this. We both get married and divorce after 5 months or you c yourself your own life. I’m now 26 so I really im so confused and he wants my answer today. i thought of the first one i said maybe its better to live a dream and get a divorce so than i can live my life after that. The other one i can’t start again and I love him so much i can’t leave him. So what do you think i should do??
2007-03-04 17:40:24 · 9 answers · asked by amyhamad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I mean that he told me that he's getting old so he told me you either get married to me since I wasted your life with me and since we don’t get on we can divorce after 5 months. Or you move on with your life.
2007-03-04 18:15:07 · update #1
Honey, its hard to read your question with all the grammar mistakes..!
From what I could read, my advice is this;
Take your time to sort out your communication problem. Believe me,it's the worse thing to drag this into marriage. Besides, you both made mistakes and your previous marriage was shortlived. Relying on feelings only, is not the rational. I can see clearly how the communication problem bothers you.
Ask your B.F for 5 minutes to only listen to what you have to say.
(I know some partner can't listen to the other make hi'/her points without jumping in and ruining the communication).Tell him to talk after you have finnished. Tell him how you feel, but would like to give more time to test your compatibility. Go on a short holiday, or take a local trip together. I've heard that a lot of couples face reality on holiday trips. They get to spend the entire time together up each other's throats and see how you cope.
Or, try counselling! I know it could be hard fixing the problem when both of you think you are right. You need a neutral person to tell you where the communiation is going wrong and what you could do to improve yourselves. A professional is better.
By the way, are you saying you are not divorced yet from the first marriage, and still in love with your ex?
2007-03-04 17:57:33 · answer #1 · answered by She-whom-shall-not-be-named 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problems and issues that you two fight about need to be resolved. I would recommend counseling. If he won't go, you go without him. You both need to open up communication, and the best way to do that if with the assistance of a professional. If you cannot afford one, try your pastor (or find one).
The issues you have now will amplify if you get married. Never, never get married with an attitude of "if it doesn't work out, I'll just get divorced." I did, and it was a disaster. It wasn't as easy as it sounds either. If he really wants to settle down with you then he'll be willing to go to counseling. If you are arguing a lot, your relationship is unhealthy.
2007-03-05 01:47:17 · answer #2 · answered by jimmyjohn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't make a decision based on pressure cause your bond to make the wrong 1 Think of love and the main question is to yourself is ARE YOU READY TO SETTLE DOWN and do you c yourself settleing t down w/him? Yeah its great to live a dream and then get divorced but its better to settle down for love and avoid all the heart ache.. Do you c yourself w/him in 5yrs from noew raising a family ? Think aboout it and then you'll know your answer.
2007-03-05 01:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by VIRA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your heart. If you truely love him I'm saying go for it. I'm not saying that you have to marry him today but just try to live your life towards making things work between you two. Then after that you will both know if it's the thing to do for the both of you. Good luck
2007-03-05 01:45:11 · answer #4 · answered by ltwatkins77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is no advice on this one.
Think what you feel. I have a same situation with my ex husband. Wee divorced after 3 years. But now 1 year left and wee are together ...
Seat, and listen you heart. Relation sheep is a hard work for both. Breakup - easy, build a family -difficult.
So....your life.
2007-03-05 01:54:36 · answer #5 · answered by inna a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't effectively communicate with your boyfriend, the relationship was over when that critical link was severed (if it ever existed). A completely open line of communication is key to a healthy relationship. If you don't have it...it's pointless.
Good luck,
K
2007-03-05 01:46:10 · answer #6 · answered by ouroboros0427 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like you (both of you) are ready for a real marriage. Let him know that you are not ready. If he walks, you can indeed find someone else, and you'll probably end up with someone better.
2007-03-05 01:45:19 · answer #7 · answered by justdennis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe falling love is a mature way of accepting the person you really love... no matter what... you will be the one who will lead your happy life in marriage.
2007-03-05 01:58:20 · answer #8 · answered by desiree gersaniba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever. nobody is going to break head over your gibberish language here. u want answers work on question
2007-03-05 01:45:29 · answer #9 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋