what should i do when people stare at me and my girlfriend?

Question

when i am out with my girlfriend who happen to be white i notice people stare at us.i just wanna go up those who satre and say what you looking at its 2007 get over it but i dont cuz i am black and thats how they wont me to act so i give my blue eyed quenn a kiss right on the lips then i take her hand and hold it so the world can see who iam with. She say she try not to look but its hard not to notice it when you can feel people looking at you i just need some advice how to handle the situation or what you do if you are in the same shoes iam in

Answer 1

Stop using your girlfriend to piss off whitey.

If you want to be with her for WHO she is, rather than WHAT she is (i.e., white), then ignore what other people think. But it sounds to me like you get something out of the reactions the two of you wittingly/unwittingly provoke in others.

The sooner YOU accept that it's normal, the sooner everyone else will, too.

Answer 2

People will stare at you and your girlfriend. As much as this is 2007, people have beliefs and instincts that tell them to stare. Instead of seeing you as a couple, or two people...you're an 'interracial couple' which carries with is social controversy. I think that things have changed but not enough to not get used to it.

I'm not saying that it should be ok, but as you get older, there will come a time when you cannot fight the perceptions of others because it takes too much away from your base and your relationship. Smile at them....turn the tables. Or, approach them and show them that you guys are real people who are more than the 'interracial couple' label may suggest.

You may want to give your blue eyed queen a kiss on the lips for shock factor but that will only get you so far. That would be an example of the same behaviour the people who stare suffer from...treating people as a commodity. I think that that kind of behaviour is disrespectful to the relationship and the image that you seek to truly portray.

Answer 3

Just ignore the people who are staring at you. Some of them might not be doing it in a hostile way. Some may be thinking "Wow there goes a gorgeous couple who look totally devoted to each other, I hope I can have that some day." I know I stare at couples all the time no matter what race they are. If there is a happy couple I love to observe them and see the way they act with each other. People stare at my boyfriend and I because he's a good foot taller than me and we're sickeningly cute with each other.

If people are being racist towards you and are giving you threats then you have every right to defend yourself. We are living in the year 2007 and unfortunately there is still bigotry and racism, but that minority is slowly dying out. Just ignore people and do about your relationship. Don't let people's racism affect your love.

Answer 4

Look, let's get real here. If you are going to date a white girl you have been black long enough to know what to expect. It is not right but it is gonna happen and you should already know that. Its not gonna stop so the best thing for you to do is to ignore the looks and go on with your business. You do not have to flaunt your relationship by kissing her in defiance. That sort of looks like you are with her because she is white and for the trouble it will stir up rather than being with her for the person she is. doing something like that can provoke the wrong people to violence but as I said, you have been a black man long enough to know all of this already and you should have taken it into consideration when you made the choices you made.

Answer 5

Charles, I'm not in your shoes and never have been...so when I say something it isn't from personal experience. What I would like to see in the world is full acceptance of everybody and everything. So far it isn't happening. As you've noticed. You will probably never avoid stares when you're with a white woman. But it is you who is reading something into the stares. They may be mentally complimenting you, or her on the choice of partners. They may be envious. They may be angry. The angry ones, those who have resentment, they are feeling their own inadequacy and are feeling resentment and anger at themselves for that inadequacy. Those who look upon you and your gf with envy, they wish they could be as lucky as one of you. So you enjoy yourself, and enjoy your gf and know that you don't have to get anyone's approval for your friends.

Answer 6

You are handling it just right as far as Im concerned. First let me say that Im sorry that you have to deal with this in the first place. I laugh at people that say racism is better. Its just become more subtle. My mother is Danish tall and blonde and my step father is Jamaican, slight and dark. It used to make me nuts when people would stare at them. Then I decided that the best reaction I could have is to raise my children to be colour blind and they are. You are showing those narrow minded people what real love is and you should be proud for it!

Answer 7

Dude, relax. Chances are you are jsut paranoid.
If u and ur girl walked by i would look... bc she is a girl and if she is hot, hell ya im gonna look. I dont care if ur black/white/asia/ or indian... if ur with a hot girl im gonna look bc she is hot, end of story.
Or then again maybe everyone is looking cuz she has a moustache or she was actually hit by the ugly stick adn cant understand why ur with her.

Answer 8

Greetings Charles,

I am a successful, educated, intelligent black woman who owns her own car and home. I prefer to date outside of my race also. I date white men who are handsome, educated and who don't have many "baby mamas". I despise drama. However I also get looks and stares, from black men and also from white women.

There appears to be a double standard. Black men are expected to date outside of their race, and black women are expected to get over it. However, it's not the same when you see a fine, intelligent successful black woman who has a great attitude, with a white man. I have been out with my ex, and black guys who were also at the movies with their white girlfriends, would start something with my ex. It was so appauling, the fact that they don't want "beautiful black women to be happy" yet they want to date outside their race and be happy. I agree with many of the comments others have stated, it does appear like you do the things you do for attention. I have noticed that alot of black men who date white or non-black women do for attention. They want to make black women stare and get angry.

However, I don't even look their way. LOL and if black men knew why "most" white women and non-black men wanted them for anyway, they would be upset. I have many white friends who date black men. It's absurd the things they say about black men, but black men obviously don't care, because they continue to get into interracial relationships for the wrong reason. Stop being concerned about what people think. I sure am not. I have been cussed out by many black men, who are upset that I choose to date and would most likely marry a white man.

I did however, make my choice due to the "stupid choices" that black men have made. But, now it is only because I like white men alot and feel they treat be better, are more successful, intelligent, and wonderful than any black man. I have, however, met a wonderful black man 2 months ago who used to "only" date white women, but I probably won't even be with him. As far as I am concerned black men can have their white women, asian women, and hispanic women. I can't deal with the black man's drama anyway. So good luck with you and your "blue eyed queen".

From a beautiful black woman, who realizes that beauty is more than skin deep.

God Bless.

Answer 9

ok....u c it is really very simple i was going out with one Brazilian guy and yes we used to have that look from ignorants but what was most amazing it's never bother him u know why coz he excepted the fact that he is dark I'm white there are ignorants out there it does not matter he was happy within him self.....it is how u feel about self if u r insecure than sure that "look" will bother u so yes as i sad his confidence was amazing no not arrogance i mean confidence .....just look into Ur self and c are u really OK with that did u Ur self except the differences between u two....if u say honestly yes than...the "look "should not be an issue ......good luck..............................

Answer 10

I am a white guy who would probably look(i.e. stare) at you and your girl. And in my opinion you should just smile briefly at whomever is looking. One reason I suggest smiling is because it makes you feel good about yourself. The second reason I suggest smiling is not because your with a white girl but because I don't see enough joyful brothers in public. Smile, after all you must be feeling pretty good you have a woman with you! Don't worry about other's thoughts. Just your own and perhaps hers.