my girl is a real sweetheart i love her to death.and i knew before we met we both had partners but it never bothered me about her part because i love her so much. ive been takin it slow cuz i dont want this to be about sex, especially me being a guy and not wanting to scare her off.but i did the stupid stupid mistake of askin her about a something sexual and if she ever did it and she said yes.ive noticed i had this same problem with other semi serious relationship.i want to kno but at da same time i do not. and now that i do kno a lil something more about her past is bothers the hell out of me.i get images in my head and i dont want let her know it bothers me cuz deep down inside i know i shouldnt even be mad and have no right to be. but still its something about finding something that your loveone did b4 you meet just kills me. i wonder if this is serious? is ther sometihng i can do to lose this feeling? possibaly perfessional help?cuz i dont want to mess the relationship up
2007-03-04 16:02:30 · 11 answers · asked by hollabizack 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
grow up and get over it. the past is the past.
2007-03-04 16:07:06 · answer #1 · answered by annc 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Next time before you get heated up with the idea of your lover's past.....think about your own first. Everyone have a good time when they are in a relationship but there are also sweet and bitter things in the past that both had gone through. Some are left to cherish especially the sweetest ones. Don't tell me you don't have any sweet memories with your past lovers.
If you love your sweetheart, focus on everything that are sweet about her. Let time proof to you that you may soon see her the way you want her to be rather than the way she was. You don't have to go for any professional help. The only one that can help you is yourself.
Put the past behind and look forward to what may become of the both of you if you both share the best of everything together.
Treasure your feelings for her and don't let loose just because of something in the past. If you are really in love..... nothing matters at all.
2007-03-04 16:40:21 · answer #2 · answered by cecilia4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember hun that you had people before her too. Yes it bothers me about my husband, and yes I want to know but at the same time I don't but in the long run just remember that you are with her, she is with you, you are together and that love trumps over what happened in the past, she isn't with those people anymore, and she is coming home to you every night. Be thankful for what you have because in the end it will drive you crazy.
I still have times that when we talk about the past it is hard for me, and I just go with it because he married me, not any of those other girls. Remember that even if she was with other people that if you and her get married, you will be the best she has been with, and she will love being with you, and I know that I don't think about the past guys at all. My husband and I are very open and so I know all about his past sex life and the same goes for him about me.
Communication is the best thing and I think that part of you is concerned that you wont measure up to the ex, and trust me being with someone that you love is better than anything in the world. :)
2007-03-04 16:10:52 · answer #3 · answered by Hawaiisweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best advise to you that jealousy is not good.. an you had a past experiences and so did she... what is the issue her??? you knew this.. I think you should trust her and let your worries go away.. it happened in the past.. have a sincere, honest, lovely relationship with this person.. at least she told you.. if you have any issues and doubts, concerns about anything just communicate and explain to your girlfriend.. this will clear many problems for you also... I would talk with family members or friends may be able to easy to your concerns... You should love someone who they are, and accept them what they are... if you point at her past and questions, it will reduce communication and respect and trust between you too..I believe that you can really sit and discuss issues with her and this will give you secure relationship.. respectfully.
2007-03-04 16:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by fidalgo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I hope she didn't work in a brothel.
Since you didn't say what she did that upset you it's a little hard to recommend anything.
Generally what happened in the past before you knew her is just that "in the past". However, if the past keeps paying a visit then I'd seriously consider moving on.
Also consider that if you don't really want to know then don't ask.
2007-03-04 16:14:11 · answer #5 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does ur past bother her?? what u feel isn't unique. lot of things may come to ur mind, that doesn't matter. but try to get over them bcoz they are non-existent. live the present. dwelling too much on the past is only going to make u unhappy. moreover, if she's true to u, the nothing should matter.
2007-03-04 16:13:00 · answer #6 · answered by Iliketodream 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might need professional help because you seem to have issues and unreasonable expectations of others. You might also have insecurities about what you think might be comparisons with the past partners. You need to discuss things with someone. and get a better perspective.
2007-03-04 16:08:57 · answer #7 · answered by katlady 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think of you may desire to attend until eventually your definatley particular of who you like. You dont wanna bypass out with this female and then decide you do in comparison to her and smash her coronary heart. which may additionally deliver unfavorable messages to the lady with the boyfriend. So merely wait it out until eventually you additionally could make a desicion
2016-12-18 15:29:34 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont ask her questions that you might not want the answer to from now on. It will only drive you crazy!
2007-03-04 16:06:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how you feel. i bet other people feel the same way as you.
2007-03-04 16:06:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋