How do I handle my in-laws??

Question

I'm staying with my in-laws (father and mother) for 3 weeks while my husbands in CA training for a new job. I have a 10 week old that I have never been away from, and though it's probably a combination of hormones and lack of sleep and missing my husband, I feel really protective of my son. My in-laws are wonderful don't get me wrong, but they're also really grabby with him, and don't ever hand him over when he starts screaming they just fumble with him thinking they can fix it. I think he just wants me sometimes or needs to eat (i breastfeed) or be changed. Today he started crying and I went to get him from my father in law and he said no lets give him to grandma!!! And she has a habit of calling herself "mamma" to him which I've tried to correct and she says it's just a mistake?????? Anyways I don't want to hurt feelings or make it uncomfortable here but, how do I let them know I'm a first time protective mom who wants to bond with her still very young son, without them getting upset

Answer 1

You know, I think I'd play on the one thing you can do that they can't. Every time he cries and you think they're not handing him over quick enough go get him saying "Oh, he must be hungry now. Let me feed him and get him back to you." Then take as long as you need feeding him.

And hey, check and see if his grandma would like to be called Nana. Or you can start using a variation of Grandma that you like for her. It's possible that the recognition that she has a personal "Grandma" name instead of the generic Grandma might stop the mistakes.

Answer 2

I lived with my in laws for six months while my husband was away on deployment. My son was a year and a half, so much older, but I still had problems. Like when he fell and chipped a tooth I went to go console him but my in laws jumped in and took over. It made me very angry. Eventually I had to say something ( I was also pregnant at the time so I took everything personally) but I sat them down and told them that I was his mom and I need to do what I think is best for him NOT what they WANTED to do. It was very difficult but in the end they realized what they were doing and respected how I felt and what I did as a mother. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Slap them and ask what u ppls problem....lol no wait thats what i need to do to mine....

IN laws are a pain atleast most are...i think they mean well... and when grand kids come along they become more of a pain. i understand ur a new mom but trust ur self if u think baby is hungary tell them...say its been 2 hrs or what ever from the last time baby ate...changed ect. and i would say some thing about the mamma..that is bay first few word and it should be for u.. see if she can pick a differ name or something to call her( my mom is ghee cause thats what i called her mom)...if u can't ask or tell them tell hubby to (lol i use to make hubby say lots of things cause he's very strong headed and his mom makes him very mad to...) times have changed we have 2 kids now and been with him 5 yrs so i got some guts to stand up to her now...

good luck and here is a site with grandmother names....

u could lie and tell her that u called one of ur grandmother something....and u wouldlike it if ur kid could call her that...lol or show her this site and let her pick a name....yeah the second choice is better..but i'm evil sometimes...

Answer 4

i had the same promblem with my ex's mom. anytime we would go over there she would get my daughter and just not give her back till it was time for us to leave. she would tell me everything she thought i should know since she had 3 kids i guess she thought she knew everything. but it is my child. and it took awhile but i finally got up enough nerve to sit down and tell her how i felt. and she understood. she said that she was just trying to help by giving me a break and she didn't know it bothered me because i never said anything about it. and since i was a new mom she was just trying to give me advice. after that she backed off a little bit and it has gone a lot better. my best advice is to sit down with them and talk. don't get mad at them or anything. just tell them how you feel and tell them that you really thank them for trying to help but it really is your child and you have the final say so on everything. and the baby is really young you need your time to bond and love that baby. babys are the greatest gift a person could ever have and you should treasure the time when they are babies.

Answer 5

You are only going to be there a short time, don't let what they do spoil your stay there, remember it is their home, you're a visitor, when it comes to your baby, just hold your tongue until you leave.
You will be glad someone is helping out with your baby, ( you're going to need all the help you can get!, You can tell you are a first time mom! buy the time the kid crawls, you're gonna let the crossing guard, paper boy, and the check out cashier at the store have him!! ..... LOL

Answer 6

My mother in law strongly believed that being loving and attentive to my child was harmful to him. She wanted him to 'be independent." She would try to withold him from me when he was crying.

I just had to walk over, take my child, and say, "Sorry, I'm just such a freak. I can't handle the stress of listening to him cry." So, I don't judge them, just put it on me.

They are wrong in what they are doing, they are being very very insensitive to your needs and your child's needs. And, that's how most people are when it comes to infants!

Good luck!

Answer 7

let them read this question...